Sleepy Hollow “Paradise Lost”— January 5, 2015
Theme: When everybody is griping about Season Two bring in another tall brooding guy with a foreign accent.
We pick up moments after the Apocalypse has been averted. Ichabod, Abbie, Jenny and Katrina are all unscathed. There’s no sign of Moloch or Henry, that’s just fine by me. Both Witnesses make some questionable choices.
First Appearance: Orion (Max Brown)
Quotable Ichabbie: During a trip to the farmer’s market, Ichabod grumbles about new food trends.
Ichabod: I have had to engage in hand-to-hand combat on many occasions.
Abbie: Not that kind of grapple, it’s a mashup. It’s a grape plus an apple.
Ichabod: My point exactly, a union that hardly seems necessary.
Status Update: Six weeks after Moloch’s defeat, Ichabod and Abbie get to engage in pleasant activities like a trip to the farmer’s market. Lieutenant Mills seems to be over the whole Witness game, but Crane is obsessed with the idea that there’s still evil afoot. I guess it’s easier than focusing on the fact that he and Katrina are on the outs. (High-five, Ichabbie fans!) It turns out Ichabod is now making his bed in a corner of the archives because the witch has taken over the cabin. I’m sorry, but what in the name of fuckery is that?! Corbin’s cabin does not belong to Katrina. Or Ichabod. Or even Abbie. If anyone has a right to squat there, it’s Joe Corbin. In other words, Katrina doesn’t just take over storyline, she takes over sets. By the way, do we even know where Abbie lives these days?
Abbie says hello to trouble
Heaven Must Be Missing a New Character: Ichabod is bothered by a rotten apple so Team Witness heads to the farm that grew the fruit. They come upon some horny devils in hoodies. The demons scatter when a hot winged guy in black swoops in. He says that he was held captive in Purgatory until six weeks earlier and now he’s looking for the evil creatures who were let loose when Moloch entered the world. If everyone gets a hall pass from Purgatory does that mean we’ll see John Cho soon? Abbie readily accepts that Orion is an angel. Seems to me that Season One Abbie would have been more skeptical, but, okay, Show. The angel reports that with Moloch’s early retirement, Headless has been promoted to the new Big Bad. Good for Headless, it’s nice to see hard work rewarded. Orion tells Abbie that he can kill the Horseman of Death because he’s got a big tool. He also gives her a special doohickey so that she can always reach him.
Witch, Please: Katrina thinks she’s Christian Grey all of a sudden so she spends her days at the hexed cell with a chained up Abraham. She’s looking for a way to separate him from the Horseman or some such shit. Katrina tells Ichabod about her plan, which Ichabod instantly rejects. Wait, what? He’s willing to hear her out? Why is the show trying to make fans annoyed with the hero? As a furious Abbie tries to talk some sense into Ichabod, Orion tells Katrina that he’s going to use his big tool on Headless, swearing that the Horseman will “taste the edge of my blade.” That’s right, he’ll introduce the Horseman to some sizzling homoeroticism. Katrina lets the Horseman escape.
Hey Girl: Jenny wants more screen time and she will get a sexy makeover if that’s what it takes to remind the show that audiences are clamoring for more Mills sisters. Hawley cozies up next to her in a bar and tries to dissuade her from getting involved with some rando extra. Hawley is in the right here. And Jenny is right to laugh at Hawley for being jealous. They figure out that the horny devils are hanging out with the newly freed Horseman at the carriage house and tell Abbie.
Loony Tunes: Ichabod puts too much faith in Katrina; Abbie puts too much faith in Orion. After she uses the doohickey to summon him, Abbie gets a call from Ichabod who has done some research. Orion has a tendency to show up right before catastrophes. Does he prevent the events or bring them about? Abbie lets Crane know that she and the angel are going to the carriage house. Turns out Orion is a nutter. He rants to Abbie about how he is not just destroying evil, he’s rebuilding the world as a paradise. Orion says his weapon (Again with the penis symbolism?) will kill Headless and then he’ll absorb the Horseman’s power to cleanse the world. When he starts yammering about Sodom and Gomorrah, Abbie figures he’s a zealot. Orion also intends to kill Katrina. Let’s not be too hasty to condemn this guy. After Crazy Pants stalks off, Team Witness gets together and conclude that Orion is worse than the Horseman of Death…. Chaos erupts. The horny devils launch an attack on Team Witness and Orion and Headless grapple. Instead of swiftly killing Headless with his magical blade, Orion does that Batman ’66 thing and stops to prematurely crow about his victory. This gives Ichabod time to sneak up, remove the blade from the Horseman’s back and smash it. Headless sexily struts (Don’t judge me) toward Orion. The Horseman kicks the angel, who immediately turns tail and flies off. Without his weapon, Orion is all talk…. Katrina tries to get back in her husband’s good graces…. Ichabod apologizes to Abbie for taking Katrina’s side and Abbie apologizes to Ichabod for taking Orion’s side. The Foreshadowing Fairy shows up as Abbie looks at her doohickey.
Cliffhanger: Someone shuffles into a convenience store. That someone is barefoot, bedraggled and guzzles milk straight from the carton. That someone is Captain Irving and he does not want to hear about your “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” policy.
So, what did you think of this episode? Is Sleepy Hollow redeeming itself?
Love your insights. A recap with a sense of humor.
Thank you, Barbara!
‘Comments are moderated. Offensive language and attacking other posters is not allowed’. Ok, but you can’t post this as a disclaimer and use “offensive language” in your blog. Come on now. Why is everyone so obsessed with sexual undertones and the homoerotic comment was unnecessary. I lost interest in this review because of the sillyness.
You actually made a good point. We’ll fix our policy. Thanks.
Your recap was far superior to SH and made me LOL! Ta!
Thanks! We appreciate that.
Enjoyed the recap! Sleepy Hollow, is one of my guilty pleasures, but the pleasure has been barely measurable this season. So the satire you offer is great medicine. I don’t know about Orion being worse than Headless, they seem to be two sides of the same coin. Both wanting to see the world come to a scorching end, and wallow in what’s to come after. I like Headless as a villain though, so I didn’t really want to see him taken out, but maybe have the whining beaten out of Abraham. That nonsense has been grating to watch over the last several months. It’s unfortunate, Orion is a zealot, but not disappointing that he wanted to rid us of Katrina. The writers created the ‘Katrina Frankenstein’, and we are suffering her and the problematic choices they have made regarding her character development, in order to enjoy what little storyline they have allowed Abbie to engage us in, this season. If they ever decide to give Abbie a fully developing storyline, like they have the Cranes, maybe it’ll be with her redeeming the rebellious Orion, and his having information about her past and ancestors, maybe that’s why she’s looking at that charm, to let us know her interactions with him, isn’t over. I won’t even go into the Crane Drama, its like watching 24 hour cable news, the same story ad nauseam and, it’s too early in the day to start drinking.
Do you have a talk show podcast, as well?
Thank you so much for the kind comments, Kim. I really love the show and want to see it do well. I agree with you about Headless vs. Abraham. And as for Abby, the show does need to remember who the two lead characters are. On the one hand, I think Katrina has potential and can be redeemed, on the other hand, I don’t know if anyone cares because she’s been so poorly written. No podcast yet, but maybe as we grow. It’s 7 p.m. EST now, so enjoy that cocktail.
And Elaine let me just add, I definitely expect Headless to be taken out at some point, sooner or later, and I’m hoping it will be by Abbie. Abbie’s always having to say “Finish it Crane”. This would be a great moment to be able to cheer her on and say, “Finish it Abbie”.
You’re probably correct about Headless, Kim. But does that mean the end of the four horsemen? The writers will have to find some new End of Days threat. In any case, “Finish it Abbie” sounds good to me.