Bachelor in Paradise

I picture the producers just filling their heads with nonsense when they are at maximum-liquor intake and causing as many breakups as possible. They probably get breakup and engagement bonuses on this on

think Carly saying that Evan is asexual is being a little too kind. I mean his opening sequence is him downing a banana…

For the first time in like 10 years, I am stoked beyond belief for next season of The Bachelor.

We are right back to Jared wanting to kill himself. He is so done with having a stalker. I guess Ashley thinks if she just keeps crying and asking him if he is sure. Eventually, he will just give in and date her.

Ashley is already crying. It’s been five minutes. I love that she hunted down Caila and told her not to go on Paradise. The best way to get a guy is to scare off all your potential competition, right?

Horseback riding on the beach! Now there is a fun date! I would fall in love on this date for sure. I really would like to see Jared end up with a nice girl and Caila seems like a really nice girl. And after her convenience store hot tub date on Ben’s season, she deserves nice things too.

I’m trying to not watch the previews but it looks like this entire episode is going to be about crushing Evan’s soul and I’m into that.

Here we go, another date, but it’s with two losers I hate–Carly and Evan–so I probably won’t comment. HAHAHAHA their date is a competition to kiss with habaneros in their mouths, Okay, okay, I’ll comment: They are literally torturing the losers. I love this show.