20 Thoughts on Sleepy Hollow: “Dawn’s Early Light” — March 25, 2016
Hi Sleepyheads, I’m ba-a-a-ck. I’ve been traveling and I missed my Sleepy Sisters. I’m slowly catching up on Sleepy Hollow so you’ll see recaps for the past few shows soon. Just to let you know, despite the fact that I was across the Atlantic in the Cotswolds and Cornwall, I did my duty to promote the show and hopefully roped in some more U.K. viewers.
It was a fun trip but I can assure you that looking at some Druid stone formations is not nearly as interesting as contemplating what goes on at Chez Ichabbie when the lights are turned down low. I mean big whoop, Pandora could get those stones in a circle before she even had her morning coffee. Is it wrong that when we saw a magpie and our guide recited the “One for Sorrow” nursery rhyme and all I could think about was Pandora’s scenes.
Okay, it’s been a while and I have performance anxiety because I’m rusty but here goes:
- No, The Hidden One, you do not get to talk that way to Pandora. She went to so much trouble to raise him from wherever he was and she gets nothing but verbal abuse. I seriously want Pandora to ask Ichabod for help with a quickie divorce. He can give do it using the shiv used to get rid of his first wife.
- Mills family scene. I don’t trust Papa Mills, but I love that we’re getting to see some of the Mills sisters’ happier times. There are probably all kinds of continuity errors, but just go with it. Is that woman in the snapshot Aunjanue Ellis?
- So now Ichabod meets Papa Mills and he’s thinking: “I wonder if I can ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage while I smell like fast-food chicken?” Do it.
- Nicole Beharie is just so beautiful that it hurts my feelings. Serious girl crush.
- I don’t know why Abbie’s mad at Daniel, though. She tried to tell him something about their relationship, they got interrupted by a text from Ichabod, and Daniel basically said ‘you can tell me later’ and she walked off in a bit of a huff. I hope Abbie isn’t thinking that Daniel needed to be more receptive or something because then I’ll have to revisit how Ichabod made her a romantic dinner and all of those little gestures that she blew off.
- Okay, Betsy Ross, something, something plot. I’m surprised that she’s still on the show because she’s turned out to be such a minor character. It must take longer for Nikki Reed to sit in hair and makeup than to say her lines. No shade, just an observation.
- Abbie and Ichabod have been taking an awful lot of road trips and it’s just so they can spend the night at B&Bs. They feed each other grapes and go antiquing and to wine tasting events and then they go back to their room and make the kind of mad passionate love you can’t show on network TV.
- Daniel is all huffy about Ichabod’s presence. Watch it, Danny, Ichabod could poke an eye out with one of his fidgety, fluttery fingers. He has killed before and he’ll do it again.
- So Abbie finally told Daniel about her secret with Ichabod; they are supernatural crime fighters. Did you see Ichabod’s face when he’s driving? He’s trying to figure out how he can have an “accident” in which he and Abbie get saved by airbags while Daniel ends up in a ravine.
- Pandora has had just about enough of her jackass husband. It doesn’t matter if he’s a god, she’s going to take him down. Remember how much fun she had when she first got to town? Dressing up in cute outfits and singing to herself like Little Miss Crazypants.
- Height-differential porn! I love towering Ichabod walking side-by-side with his petite Leftenant. Are there any other fellow fun-sized ladies in the audience who get a thrill from watching a tall guy with a short girl? Is there some sort of fan-fic devoted to that?
- The only reason the show is taking so long with that steamy love scene is they need to figure out how to get them both in the same shot without resorting to some explicit premium cable positioning.
- Betsy Ross, something, something. Oh, she’s leaving! Never to be seen again? Well, good luck to you, Miss Ross.
- It was a budgetary decision. The producers needed to free up some money to film that elaborate Ichabbie wedding scene. It’s going to be like something out of Bollywood.
- Look at Daniel and Abbie sitting all close. Is this the episode where she finally gets a kiss? I don’t want to get my hopes up.
- Daniel: “Crane. he’s not normal, is he? Is he a ghost.” Us: No Daniel, Ichabod Crane is Abbie’s common-law husband and they plan to have a big church wedding, so don’t get too comfy.
- A kiss. Finally! Finally! Abbie got a kiss! The beautiful leading lady has finally seen some lip action. It only took 47 episodes.
- To recap: Abbie is no longer living out of her car, she has a home and the home has a spacious shed. She has a yuuuuuuge office. She may own a strip mall. She may even own a wash-and-fold franchise. Her family is getting some attention and she has finally been kissed.
- Spoiler! Don’t read on if you don’t want to know what happens.
- Okay, here’s what I know: Daniel and Ichabod fight over who gets to be with Abbie. Daniel tells Ichabod to “go home and get your shine box.” While Abbie is distracted, Ichabod creeps downstairs with a shiv made from a toothbrush and stabs his love rival repeatedly. He then carts Daniel’s body off to the Jersey landfill where he’s taken the bodies of all the other men who got close to Abbie: The undead Andy Brooks, Luke Morales, Nick Hawley, Orion the angel, photojournalist Calvin Riggs and even random extras who casually glanced in her direction. After some maneuvering with lye and a pick-ax, Crane turns to the camera, raises an eyebrow, breaks the fourth wall and says: “Game on.”
Full recap to come, I swear!
Sleepy Hollow airs Fridays at 8/7c on Fox.