Warning:

When Angela Valdes strolled into Truth, James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, the high school sweethearts had a lot of catching up to do. Angie was assigned to an FBI drug task force hunting an upper-tier drug distributor named “Ghost.” In other words, Agent Valdes was unwittingly looking to nab her boyfriend. Angie sabotaged the FBI case so that Jamie could walk away from his criminal past and spend his days running his fingers through her magnificent chestnut tresses. Mexican cartel leader Lobos was a bother so G. had to team up with Tommy Egan, who is G.’s business partner, dragon and white soul brother to whack Lobos. Too bad Tommy’s girlfriend Holly jumped the gun and inserted herself into the situation; a pissed off Tommy ended the relationship by strangling Holly with his bare hands. He feels bad but, sorry Tommy, no backsies. Let’s go!

Team Jamela has been in a funk all week, it goes like this:

Power Writers: Hey, remember how we made you sad by breaking up Jamie and Angela?
The Audience: Yep.
Power Writers: Here is a scene of them looking beautiful together in bed and making pillow talk about the split.
The Audience: We know it’s a dream sequence, stop toying with us. Let’s get on with it.

Power Writers: Fine, you ingrates, here is a scene of Angie crying to her sister Paz.
Angie: Why, God? Why?
Paz:  Jamie is a jerk.
The Audience: Shut up, Paz. Jamie did this to protect Angie. Don’t be so judge-y.

Angie: Somebody is at the door! PleaseBeJamiePleaseBeJamiePleaseBeJamie
Not Jamie: Hi, Angie. It’s me, Tim, from the FBI. You have to come to the office, bring your laptop and phone.
Angie: Okay, let me get my magnificent chestnut tresses in order. So, tell me what’s happening.
Tim: Sorry, I can’t. OMG, you are so pretty. Okay, I’ll tell you, “The Office of Professional Responsibility” is here.
Angie: That’s a weird title. It’s like having “The Office of Doing Your Job Well.”

Office of Professional Responsibility People: We have to interview everyone in the department to find out who was working with Lobos. We know there is a mole.
Agent Mike Sandoval: It wasn’t me! Nope, not  me! Do I look guilty? Oh, God, I look guilty, don’t I? It’s hot in here, isn’t it? Who is Lobos? I never heard of Lobos!
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Did you do it, Agent Valdes?
Angie: No.
The Office of Professional Responsibility: Did you do it Agent Greg Knox?
Greg: No.
The Office of Professional Responsibility: Did you do it  Agent Cooper Saxe?
Cooper: Greg and Angie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Office of Professional Responsibility People: Lobos is dead.
Greg: Dagnabit
Cooper: Dagnabit
Angie: Dagnabit. My boyfriend had nothing to to do with this! I know nothing about Jamie St. Patrick! Who? What? I only had sex with him because of plot.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: She is totes guilty, but she sure has pretty hair.

Tommy has had a long night of being a murderer. It goes like this:

Tommy: 
Jamie: What’s the matter, Bae? Let’s turn that frown upside down. I wonder who just knocked on the door.
Tasha: Hi Cheater. Where is Holly?
Tommy:
Jamie: I dunno, but she certainly is not dead and buried.
Tasha: Hey Ghost, while Tommy is out of earshot, I will keep asking about Holly and mention that she’s pregnant.
The Audience: Please don’t say that too loud, Tasha.
Ghost: Take care of Tommy. Bye!
Tasha: Holly, Holly, Holly.
The Audience: Remember what we said, Tasha: ix-nay on the aby-ba talk.
Tasha: Let’s talk about Holly and the baby you didn’t know she was carrying.
Tommy:

Jamie goes to Angie’s apartment. It goes like this:

The Audience: Yay!
Jamie: I’m here to collect my things.
Paz: Angie’s not here, jerk. She’s at the FBI headquarters being interrogated.
Jamie: Golly, I hope they don’t bring up my name in connection with the Lobos killing. Angie would get in trouble.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Hi again, Angie. Let’s talk about Jamie St. Patrick and his connection with the Lobos killing. You are in trouble.
Angie: Gulp.
Angie’s Hair: I’ll handle this. Notice how pretty I am.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Your hair is so pretty, you may go now.
Angie: I think Jamie might be guilty. I better go to his mansion in the sky and ask his wife.
Tasha: What now?
Angie: Did Jamie kill Lobos?
Tasha: No, I am going to lie to you and say my husband was too busy having amazing sex with me.
Angie: That is a lie! He would never cheat …
Tasha: Say what now?
Angie: … on me, his girlfriend.
Tasha: Girl, bye. Plot is happening upstairs at my mansion in the sky.

Jamie: Tariq, I hear you raised a hand to your mother. That is wrong. I am going to issue a stern but calm reprimand. You must apologize.
Tariq: Do I have to apologize to your “sidebitch” with the magnificent chestnut tresses?  Editor’s Note: He really said “sidebitch.” We didn’t make that up. Not that we would.
Jamie: I will not issue a stern but calm reprimand. I am going to freak the f-ck out because calling Angie a bad name is worse than getting rough with your mother. I’m afraid, I’ll have to kill you now, son.
Tasha: There are new characters in the living room, Jamie.
Milan: Hi. I am a Serbian mobster. At some point, Ghost and/or Tommy killed Vladimir, who was important to my network and you stole from me. Now you must work for me.  According to the plot, I may eat people. Oh, and here is Tatiana. She looks like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. She has something or other to do with the plot. We are here to remind you that we can get to your family, Ghost. Yummy, dinner smells delish.
Tasha: Okay, let’s eat. Hey, Jamie, after these two leave let’s go talk about it on our rooftop. Not only do the set designers add square footage to the mansion in the sky every week, we also have a rooftop pool. Crime does pay.
Milan: That was a lovely dinner. Toodles! I wonder how Tommy is doing? Is he drinking and crying at the spot where Holly is buried? I sure hope my goons don’t leap out of a van and attack him.

At the spot where Holly is buried it goes like this:
Tommy:
Goons: We have tasers. Zap! Now we are going to take you to a warehouse and take turns killing you on Mlan’s orders.
Milan: Let’s not kill him. The kid has spunk and is a broken shell of an emoji, this might work for us.
Tommy: \_(ツ)_/¯

Kanan is still evil. It goes like this:
Kanan: Hi Sweet, Little Old Lady.
Sweet, Little Old Lady: Hi, thanks for helping me carry groceries!
Kanan: No problem. Now all I have to do is shove you down and smother you with a pillow, which is embossed “Jesus saves.” I like irony. This heinous crime has something to do with the plot and my beef with Ghost.
The Devil: Tip of the hat, sir.

Angie confronts Jamie. It goes like this:
Angie: I’m here to talk to you about the Office of Professional Responsibility People. Did you use me to get to Lobos?
Jamie: I’m going to push you onto the bed.
The Audience: Yay!
Jamie: But not in a hot way, in a “Are you wearing a wire?” way.
Angie: Of course not, you idiot. Who helped you? Who told you about Lobos being transferred?
Jamie: I don’t know anything about this.
Angie: You never loved me. Bye.
Ghost: Don’t go!
The Audience: Don’t go!
Angie’s Har: Whatever, I look beautiful when Angie’s angry!

Power airs Saturday at 9/8c on Starz.

We enjoy witty comments from Power fans. They don’t appear right away, but we’ll get to them.

When Angela Valdes strolled into James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, the high school sweethearts had a lot of catching up to do. Angie was on an FBI drug task force looking to nab a major drug distributor named “Ghost.” As it turns out, being a nightclub owner is Jamie’s day job. Well, technically, it’s his night job. In any case, his real job is being Ghost. It all worked out, so now Jamie can spend his days stroking Angie’s magnificent chestnut tresses. Jamie will never be involved with crime again, pinky-swear. Jamie also patched things up with Tommy Egan, his business, partner, dragon and white soul brother. Drug lord Lobos ordered Tommy to kill Ghost, but he didn’t do it so Holly, Tommy’s girlfriend, arranged a hit so she and Tommy could get on with their lives. When Tommy found out, he was a bit peeved and choked Holly to death. Ghost was there to bury the body because that’s how love works. Let’s go!

Tommy has had a long night of killing his girlfriend and covering it up. He’s an emotional wreck. It goes like this:
Jamie: Hi Boo, I got your back, Tommy. Oh, someone just showed up at the door. Hi soon-to-be-ex-wife Tasha.
Tasha: Hi. What are you doing here? Let’s go to the mansion in the sky that we shared with the kids before you started stroking your girlfriend’s magnificent chestnut tresses. BTW, where is Holly?
Tommy and Ghost: Gulp.
Tasha: Hey Ghost, while Tommy is out of earshot, I will keep asking about Holly and mention that she’s pregnant.
The Audience: Please don’t say that too loud, Tasha. Tommy’s suffered enough. Well, maybe choking the life out of his girlfriend isn’t suffering, but he did it because she arranged a hit on G. and Tommy loves Ghost way more than he loved Holly.
Ghost: Take care of Tommy. I gotta go have hot sex with my girlfriend.
Angie: Hi. It’s time to give the audience what they are here for. You rip off my clothes, I’ll straddle you and then I’ll be sprawled on the table. I’ll put my legs in the air, and then I’ll put them on your shoulders while you thrust and we adult content all over the place.
Jamie: Okey-doke. After this, I have to go do something shady.

Jamie has a pitch meeting with some lady who owns a hotel and he needs Tasha’s help. It goes like this:
Jamie: Tasha, we are at this lavish ivy-covered hotel for business or something.
Tasha: I hope it’s for “or something.”
Jamie: We have to pretend to be husband and wife.
The Audience: Uh, Jamie. You are still married to her. You know that, right?
Tasha: See? This is why I’m always salty.
Jamie: Just be my alibi, I’ve got some killing to do.

That Lobos is such a scamp, something or other is happening because of plot and he’s being moved from one prison to another. It goes like this:
Agent Greg Knox: Hello, I’m Agent Greg Knox. I specialize in being Angie’s ex-boyfriend and current stalker. I’m always in a bad mood because she loves Jamie, who I’m sure is Ghost.
Lobos: Angie may not be into you, but I am. This prison transport van is like a love nest on wheels. Maybe you should stop being straight now.
Greg: You’re right. Maybe we should hate f-ck. If only you had magnificent chestnut tresses.
Lobos: Darn it, we’re out of time. Tommy has arrived to help me escape. You are not going to like this part, Agent Knox. When this van crashes, you’re going to end up bleeding and probably dead. Bye!
Greg: Why can’t I ever catch a break?

Ghost and Tommy start carrying out their plan to kill Lobos, it goes like this:
The Audience: Don’t kill Lobos. He’s so funny and charming.
Ghost: Don’t get too attached.
Lobos: Tommy, if you do anything to me, your girlfriend Holly will be killed.
Tommy: LOL, I beat you to it.
Tommy and Ghost: Let’s squabble about how this should be done. Wait, whose phone is ringing? Lobos has a phone, uh-oh, maybe he’s being tracked.
Agent Mike Sandoval: It’s just me. I’m an FBI bigwig, but I’m also working for Lobos. I’ll just leave a message. To hear this in English, press one.
Lobos: I may be handcuffed but I will kick your asses.
Tommy: Maybe this is a bad idea. Let’s think about it before we do anything hasty.
Ghost: Bang, bang. Lobos is dead.
The Audience: Booo!
Ghost Now we have to go change clothes and be shirtless.
The Audience: Yay!!!!!!!!
Ghost: Life is good. It’s all blue skies, nothing but blue skies from now on.
Tommy: For you maybe. Enjoy your wealth, family and Angie. I have nothing.
Ghost: Oh, turn that frown upside down, you’ll find another girl.
Tommy: Actual quote – “Can’t replace Holly.”
The Audience: You should have thought of that before you killed her. Just wait until you find out about the baby, then you’ll really have something to cry about.

At the FBI headquarters, word spreads that Knox is gone. It goes like this:
Agent Cooper Saxe: It’s so sad that Greg is dead.
Angie: Uh-huh. I feel a little bad about walking all over him.
Cooper: He’s alive!
Angie: Oh.
Greg: Something fishy is going on. When Lobos’ accomplices showed up, they immediately got rid of his tracking device. Somebody inside of the department was working with Lobos.
Sandoval: I’m just going to clear my throat, shift uncomfortably and look at my shoes.
Angie: I’m marginally glad that you’re not dead, Greg.
Greg: Side-eye.
Cooper: So buddy, now that you think there is a mole in the department, are you going to stalk Angie again?
Greg: Yep.

At the luxury hotel, Tasha holds down the fort. It goes like this:
Tasha: Welp, while Ghost is off doing something criminal, my job is to stay at the hotel and provide an alibi by pretending he’s here. Good grief, Angie keeps texting Ghost and now I have to text back and tell her how much I love her and her magnificent chestnut tresses! See, Audience, this is why I’m always in a bad mood. Hey, what are these legal documents? Is Ghost planning on officially splitting up?
The Audience: Don’t act so surprised, you had to see this coming.
Jamie: Hi. How was your day?
Tasha: Good. Enjoying this luxurious suite and complimentary room service. I enjoyed the sandwiches. I did not enjoy texting with your hussy. BTW, I found these legal documents, I signed them because I’m tired of doing things like sending lovey-dovey texts to your girlfriend. I’m going to bed now.
Jamie: Yeah, it’s been a long day. Move over.
Tasha: Nope. Go sleep on the sofa.
Jamie: Why are you so salty? I spent the day killing Lobos to protect our family. Why do I have to sleep on the couch?
The Audience: Oh, Jamie.
With Lobos out of the way, Jamie goes back to work at the nightclub. It goes like this:
Jamie: It sure is nice being legit. No more foreign drug cartels to deal with. Oh, hello bodyguards, I thought I told you I don’t need protection anymore. Hey, nice accent, where you from?
Suspicious Looking Fellow: Hi, I’m Milan. I’m from Serbia and worse than Lobos. You stole from me and now you have to work for me to pay me back. I know everything about you. My security team is watching your club, your family and Angie.
Jamie: Gulp, I’ll tell Tommy.
Tommy: They’re going to kill Angela and it won’t be pretty. The only way to protect her from a fate worse than death is to kill her. I hate her but even I don’t want her to go through whatever the Serbians have in mind.
Jamie: Or I could just, you know, break up with her. Some people don’t kill their girlfriends, ahem. I’ll go talk to her now.
Angie: Honey, you’re home. Let’s talk about how happy we’ll be. That’s always a bellwether of trouble.
Jamie: We have to break up now.
Angie: I’m going to sob now.
Jamie: I’m going to leave. And then I’ll hear you sobbing and I’m going to sob.
The Audience: Nooooo, now we are sobbing.
Angie’s Hair: Goddamnit, I hate it when she’s sad. Now I’m going to be stuck in a permanent ponytail.

Power airs Saturday at 9/8c on Starz.

We enjoy witty comments from Power fans. They don’t appear right away, but we’ll get to them.

When Angela Valdes strolled into James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, the high school sweethearts had a lot of catching up to do. Angie was on an FBI drug task force looking to nab a baddie named “Ghost.” They worked it all out, so now Jamie spends his days stroking Angie’s magnificent chestnut tresses. Jamie has another great love–Tommy Egan. They broke up and now Ghost’s former business partner, dragon and white soul brother has been hired to kill G. Let’s go!

Jamie and Angela have some of that sweet chocolate/dulce de leche swirl sex. Angela is a little sad, though. It goes like this:

Jamie: What’s wrong?
Angela: We have so many obstacles. The writers are really sharp and they know we need friction to keep things interesting.
Angie’s Hair: F-ck that sh-t. When you are not happy, I don’t get to bounce and behave. I have to be in a ponytail or a bun or something that doesn’t allow the audience to bask in my glory.

Something is happening. It’s called plot. If only I’d paid attention to something other than love scenes, I’d know what’s going on. I know this: Lobos is a quirky, engaging criminal. He’s deranged and I love him. He’s in prison but he doesn’t want to be. That about sums it up. Oh, and FBI bigwig Mike Sandoval, who is Angie’s boss, is in cahoots with the drug lord which is no bueno.

Angie visits Agent Greg Knox, whose interests include being her former boyfriend, current stalker and Jamie hater. It goes like this:

Angie: Hi.
Greg: Hi.
Angie: I’m mad because you found Carlos “Vibora” Ruiz. Lobos is already locked up. Why did you do that?
Greg: Well, I am an agent so… Okay, I did it because he can prove your chocolatey goodness is really Ghost. May I pet your magnificent chestnut tresses now?
Angie: No.
Greg: Fine. I’ll just make sure that Ruiz shows up at the FBI office. That way your boyfriend’s lawyer will see him and tell him that you don’t have Ghost’s back.
Angie: Gulp.
Ghost’s Lawyer: Hey Ghost, I just popped in to the nightclub to tell you that Ruiz was at the FBI office. Angie doesn’t have your back.
Ghost: Gulp.
Angie Hi honey. You need a lawyer.
Jamie: Is this because of Ruiz? Why didn’t you tell me about Ruiz? Blah, blah. Let’s upset the audience by squabbling.
The Audience: She just warned you. Shut up, Jamie.
Angie: Gotta go. I’m heading back to work to mess up this case because I love you.
Ruiz: Hi. You have pretty hair.
Angie: Thank you. Please disregard everything Agent Knox said about snitching on Ghost. He killed a whole bunch of people like Vladimir and Drifty last season and he let you live.
Ruiz: Okay.

The Feds: So, who is Ghost?
Ruiz: Yo no se.
Angie: Look at my smirk Greg.
Greg: Look at my eyes having hate sex with you.

At Truth, Dre, who is Ghost’s right-hand man, meets Tariq. It goes like this:

Tariq: Hi. I am Jamie’s plot device son.
Dre: Well, that will come in handy. Let me go home now and find Kanan in my apartment.
Kanan: Hi. Remember how I was you mentor?
Dre: Yes, and then I wanted a better life for myself and my sweet, little girl. Now I work at Ghost’s nightclub so I could go legit. I would like you to not kill my little girl.
Dre: You betrayed me when you went to work for Ghost. Guess I have to throw this sweet, little girl out of a window or something.
Sweet Little Girl: Gulp.
The Devil: Wow, Kanan, just wow.
Dre: I’m on your side again. Did I mention that Ghost’s son Tariq is a handy plot device?

After an ambush, Tommy fills in his girlfriend Holly. It goes like this:
Tommy: Hmm, I wonder who tried to kill me.
Holly: Well, since the drug lord Lobos told you to kill Ghost and you didn’t follow orders, I’d say it’s him. I could be next. Our dog would be alive were it not for Lobos.
The Audience: Uh, it’s not like you were all that attentive to Bell. We’d say her chance of survival was 50/50.
Tommy: It’s complicated.
Holly: Well, I’m so glad that I arranged for the Jamaicans to kill Ghost so we can get this over with.
Tommy: What?
Holly: Never mind.
Tommy: Oh, there is a knock at the door. Hi Mom, it’s been so long that I forgot you were a character.
Tommy’s Mom: I’m here to remind the audience that I’m a money-grubber with no parenting skills, which is why you turned out to be such an effed-up person.
Holly: Hi.
Tommy’s Mom: You are a whore. Tommy, she has red hair like me. Oedipus much? Let’s do some blow. Hey, let’s talk about old times. Ghost is the best. He’s your bestest friend.
Holly: Don’t mind me. I’m going to text the hitmen and tell them to kill Ghost.
Tommy’s Mom: Before I leave, let me reiterate how Ghost is like a son to me. Now, I will kiss you on the lips.
The Audience: Do you think she does that with Ghost too? Just asking.
Julio: Hi Tommy. It’s me, your right-hand man. It was the Koreans who tried to kill you, not Lobos
Tommy: Yay! I am most certainly not going to kill Ghost. We are going to hug it out.
Holly: Funny story, I arranged for the Jamaicans to kill Ghost. Let’s have a physical fight that may endanger the baby you don’t know about.
Tommy: I could kill you.
The Audience: Oh, sh-t. He meant that in a literal way. Bye, Holly.

Jamaicans: Hi Ghost.
Ghost: Gulp.
Ghost’s Security Team: Bang, bang. Bye, Jamaicans.

Angie goes home to tell Ghost the good news about Ruiz. It goes like this:
Angie: Hi. Ruiz is no problem now. You’re safe. The Lobos case is over. Hmm, you are staring at me in stunned silence.
Ghost: That’s just the look of love. I have a gift for you: legal documents, I’m officially splitting up with Tasha.
Angie:  Yay, no more obstacles! Bye, Tasha.
Angie’s Hair: So, may I let myself loose now?
Jamie: Go to sleep, I have to sneak out in a hoodie and visit Tommy.
Jamie: Hi Tommy. Hi Holly. Uh, Holly? Holly?
Tommy: Gulp.
Jamie: Since we are best friends, I’ll take care of this and bury her. BTW, I helped save you from the Koreans, though for some reason I didn’t tell you that.
Tommy: So, funny story: Lobos ordered me to kill you, I didn’t do it but Holly called in the Jamaicans. I got so mad I killed her.
Jamie: LOL! Let’s kill Lobos together.
Tommy: Yay, friends again!

Power airs Saturday at 9/8c on Starz.

We enjoy witty comments from Power fans. They don’t appear right away, but we’ll get to them.

When Angela Valdes strolled into James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, feelings reignited for the high school sweethearts. Their only roadblock was that Angie didn’t reveal that she was part of an FBI drug task force looking to nail someone named “Ghost” and Jamie never mentioned that he’s a successful drug distributor, who goes by the street name “Ghost.”  We’ve all been there, right? The crazy kids patched things up and Angie even destroyed evidence implicating Jamie. Now Jamie has gone legit and can spend his days stroking Angie’s magnificent chestnut tresses. The only fly in the ointment is that Tommy Egan–Ghost’s former business partner, dragon and white soul brother–has beef with Ghost and has been ordered to kill G. Let’s go!

The episode opens with a threesome: Naked Jamie, naked Angela and Angela’s magnificent chestnut tresses. Unfortunately, there’s no sweet, sweet swirl of chocolate and dulce de leche. They aren’t even giving us major afterglow spooning. Consider this a bad omen.

Tommy really doesn’t want to kill Ghost, but Lobos has threatened to kill Egan’s girlfriend, Holly, and their dog. Lobos doesn’t issue idle threats. It goes like this:

Holly: I’m just going to keep posting these lost-dog flyers all over the neighborhood. I hope Bell’s not hurt.

Tommy: Upside, she is not hurt. Downside: Bell is dead. She got murdered because of the plot about drugs or something.

Holly: What?

Tommy:  Nevermind. I can get you a new dog.

Holly: “You can’t just replace Bell. That’s like saying if you died, I’m just gonna go out and fuck another guy right away.”

The Audience: Who are you trying to fool, girl? You know at the very least you’d be offering a hand job. Oh, and another thing. You two barely paid attention to that dog. She was one step away from starring in a sad dog video with Sarah McLachlan singing that “in the arms of an angel” song.

Jamie goes to the mansion in the sky that he shared with Tasha and their two or three children. One day, I’m going to rewatch because I am quite sure they had three kids but you never see more than two at a time. It’s probably a budget thing. What they save on paying that kid, goes into maintaining Angie’s magnificent tresses. It goes like this:

Jamie: Hi Tasha, thanks for allowing me to see my kids.

Tasha: Whatever, I’m contractually obligated to be salty so I will respond in a bitchy manner. I’m busy right now, I’m standing in the kitchen. I spend most of my scenes standing in the kitchen in glamorous outfits and half-heartedly wiping a counter or slicing an heirloom tomato.

Jamie: Okay, just give this check to Tommy. After he gets it, I’m officially out of the drug business. He won’t return my calls because he’s pretending to look for a dog that was whacked for plot reasons.

Tasha: He doesn’t like me anymore either because of the plot. He found out that I helped you frame your former boss Kanan to go to prison so you could get rich distributing drugs. You “killed” him last season. Tommy was a Kanan fanboy. He does Kanan cosplay on the weekend. He mad. That’s sad because he was my Stan for the first two seasons. I’ll give him the check, but first I have to go talk to my frenemy Keisha.

Keisha:  Thanks for visiting this beauty salon, which I apparently own. You are being way too lenient about your estranged husband being in love with Becky with the good hair. Where is your fight? Well, if you need money you can handle the books at my salon.

The Subtext Fairy: Keisha is saying “Well, Miss Bougie, I’m going to pretend to be nice, but I am relishing your fall.” Next time, she’ll ask if Tasha wants to be the shampoo girl.

Tasha gets Tommy to meet her at a diner. It goes like this:

Tommy: I’m just here for the check. Kanan told me that you are a lying liar that lies. I am an up-and-coming druglord but I’m also judgy.

Tasha: Yeah, remember that time you didn’t tell me that Ghost was cheating?

Tommy: I’m going to say something really mean to make you feel even worse about Angie. I won’t mention that I always hated her and was totally loyal to you. I’m sort of a dick right now.

Tasha: Here’s your check. I’m sad and I have to go my mansion in the sky and stand in the kitchen with a whisk.

The Audience: We feel kinda bad for Tasha right now. But we feel worse about the fact that there has not been another romantic Jamie/Angie scene. We are getting way too much plot about Ghost’s nightclub business. Yes, this is a show about drugs (wink, wink), so we’ll accept this major plot line about something, something. If we don’t see some of that sweet, sweet chocolate and dulce de leche swirl, we are going to get salty.

You know what else is salty? Poor Holly’s tears because nobody has seen Bell, who now resides at the Rainbow Bridge. Jesus, this is sad. Tommy’s big check cheers her up. It goes like this:

Holly: Goodbye grief, hello money! Want me to take it to the bank?

Tommy: Nope.

Holly: Okay, I will give you a blow job, while secretly taking the check. Yes, The Audience, you were right about me. You just go ahead and slut-shame me but I don’t care. I’m as rich as Nene. I’m going to take this to the bank, but it won’t work because the only thing I know about money involves removing dollar bills from my thong.

We finally get to see Angie, she is not with the right St. Patrick, though. It goes like this:

Tasha: Hi, hussy. I just came to see where my two or three children are going to stay when they visit their father.

Angie: Gulp.

Angie’s Hair: Nope. I’m just going to do the messy ponytail of discomfort.

Tasha: Let’s see how those magnificent chestnut tresses hold up to taking care of my two or three kids. I have a young daughter named Yasmine. She is sill being potty-trained. I have two other kids named Tariq and Raina! I have three kids! I don’t remember if Yasmine was a baby in the first season, but it doesn’t matter. The record shows that I have three kids.

Angie’s Hair: You better make sure these brats don’t take up the time you need to style me.

Tasha: Now that I have made you feel inadequate, my work is done. When the kids are over tonight, realize that parenting is horrendous. The kids will make you feel like a failure, Ghost won’t pay that much attention to you and there will be no sweet, sweet, swirl tonight. Bye!

This episode could be titled “Everyone’s Bad Day.”

At Casa de Tommy, things are rocky. It goes like this:

Tommy: Hi Honey. How was your day?

Holly: I’m a dumb ass who doesn’t understand how banks work. But I want us to be full partners.

Tommy: You are a dumbass, but we can be full partners, I guess. For the record, Tasha was the one brainy enough to handle the books. She studied accounting but dropped out of school to marry Ghost.

The Audience: We feel bad for Tasha right now. She deserves a better life and someone to peel the potatoes so she can relax.

Holly: So, tell me something full-partner-y.

Tommy: Bell is not coming back. Lobos threatened to have one of his minions kill Bell or you if I don’t murder Ghost. Bell was whacked. This all has to do with plot, something, drugs. I tried to kill Ghost tonight, but I couldn’t do it. “He was my brother, my whole life, my family.”

Holly: You can do it! Let’s go, Tommy! Clap, clap, clap, clap. Let’s go, Tommy! Clap, clap, clap, clap. Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? We will, we will you rock you.

Tommy: Who is at the door?

Holly: I did something partner-y without you.

Tommy: FFS.

Tasha: I hear you have a problem and need me to fix it.

Tommy: Whaaaaaaaa?

I’ve going to binge on Power the past few episodes this week so come back!

Power airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on Starz

We love the witty comments from Power fans. They don’t appear right away but we promise we’ll get to them after we pull husks from corn.

When Angela Valdes sauntered into James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, the high school sweethearts picked up where they left off. Everything was perfect. Angie was part of an FBI task force investigating a mystery man called Ghost. Drug distributor Jamie goes by the street name Ghost. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, and Jamie is married to Tasha. And Tommy Egan–Ghost’s business partner, dragon and white soul brother–is loyal to Tasha and detests Angie and her magnificent chestnut tresses. Angie thought she finally figured out who Ghost is–Tommy. Once she learned the truth, she did what any federal agent would do: destroy evidence. Have you seen Jamie? It was worth it. In doing so, Angie messed things up for her stalkerish former boyfriend Agent Greg Knox, who hates Jamie. Things are so much different now, except that Jamie is still married and not telling Angie everything about his professional life, and Agent Knox is still following Angie around and determined to bring down Jamie. Let’s go!

Jamie is wearing sexy boxer briefs and his muscles. Welp, this has been a great episode. The end. Okay, okay, he is on a phone call  and it goes like this:

Jamie: Hi Tasha. How are you doing?

Tasha: Fine. I’m just standing around in skimpy lingerie and admiring my body in the mirror. I am so hot.

Jamie: Okay. Let’s talk about the kids.

Tasha: I guess they are okay, they show up for plot now and again. I hate Angie. I hate her magnificent chestnut tresses. Keep her away from the plot devices kids. Bye.

The weekly obligatory explicit sex scene belongs to Tommy and Holly. It goes like this:

Tommy: Huff, puff, grunt. Huff, puff, grunt. Wow, my face is so red, I may be having a heart attack. Where is my Life Alert?  I’m probably just distracted because I’m thinking about how the drug lord Lobos has ordered me to kill Ghost. We used to be BFFs and I don’t like G. anymore, but I don’t want to kill him.

Holly: I’m probably thinking that I want to get this over with. The same way I wish you would get killing Ghost over with. That and I’m pregnant.

Okay, now that we have all the boobs and butts out of the way, we can move on. What’s that you say? There is more to come? Hopefully, it’s Jamie and Angie. Spoiler Alert: It’s not.

In D.C. the presumed-dead Kanan is recovering at the home of Jukebox aka The Corrupt Lady Cop. It goes like this:

Kanan: Ghost tried to kill me but I am a badass and somehow escaped a fire. My third-degree burns didn’t kill me so now I’m ready to do some crime.

Random Character: No, you’re not up the task.

Jukebox’s Girlfriend: Hi, my name is Candie. I’m going to see for myself if Kanan is up to the task.

Kanan: Hi Candie.Thank you for coming in here and taking off your top and starting a lot of rubbing and touching to see if I’m up to the task.

The Audience: Sweet Mother of Pearl! Is that Kanan’s penis? Let’s reluctantly rewind. Yep, that’s Kanan’s penis.

The Wardrobe Department: Yeah, we just kind of phoned it in this week, so all the characters only got half an outfit.

Kanan: Okay, I’m ready for crime. I will put on a scary mask and lead some other masked men into a jewelry store for a violent heist. There will be killing. This may be the most awesome crime scene of the series,

Jukebox: I’m The  Corrupt Lady Cop, so I’ll make sure you get away with it.

Kanan: Good. I will then return to your house and have sex with your girlfriend on the kitchen counter.

The Audience: That seems unsanitary. And warn us if you plan on whipping it out again.
Back in New York, Tasha finds Angie waiting in her lobby. It goes like this:

Tasha:  Hi, Homewrecker.

Angie: I feel sorry that your son Tariq found my gun and took it to school, so I used my connections to have his record expunged.

Tasha: You didn’t do this for Tariq. You didn’t do this for me. “You did this for Ghost.”

Angie: Ummm, well Ghost and I are in love so that makes perfect sense.

Tasha: Bye.

This is a good time to mention that Power is a gritty crime drama about the drug trade so let’s address that. It goes like this:

The Plot: Drugs, something, Tommy, Korean gangsters, drugs.

Holly and Tommy visit Tasha to talk business. It goes like this:

Tasha: Hi. Have a drink.

Holly: No, thank you.

Tasha: You refused a drink. It’s a rule that anytime a woman on TV declines a drink; she’s pregnant. You will probably make a horrible mom.

Holly’s Midriff: I’m not happy about this either. Since I am always on display, I have my own dressing room, right next to Angie’s magnificent chestnut tresses.

Tasha: Tell Tommy about the baby.

The Plot: No, this is TV so she has to say: “I have to tell you something,” then he will leave in a snit so that he can find out in another episode and get pissy.

Speaking of tension, Angie and Jamie are not sitting on a rainbow and making unicorn babies like they are supposed to. Instead, they are getting snippy with each other. It goes like this:

Jamie: You visited Tasha. She’s my wife. Wife, wife, wifey, wife, wife.

Angie: You paid my rent, I can pay my own rent. Rent, rent, rent.

Jamie: Grumble, grumble.

Angie: Hissssssss.

Angie’s Hair: When you two fight, I can’t bounce and behave because Angie will put me in a bun or something, so knock it off.

Agent Greg Knox: You are upset now, Angie but just wait until you get to the office and find out that I’m no longer suspended for stalking you because I have relevant info regarding the plot and this will be bad for Jamie. Maybe when he goes to prison, you will love me as much as you love that chocolatey goodness.

The drug plot makes bad things happen. It goes like this:

Korean Mobsters: We are going to kill Tommy because of drugs or something.

Ghost: Thank goodness, I have this news. Now, I can save Tommy’s life. The Koreans will shoot him, but then I’ll shoot at them, and Tommy will live, but he won’t know I was the one to save him because it’s Let’s Not Give Tommy Important Information Day.

Tommy: Hi Holly, I’m home and bleeding all over the place.

Holly: Okay, I assume none of this would be happening if Ghost wasn’t alive, so I’m going to say I’m out getting bandages, but in reality, I’m going to visit the Jamaicans and tell them to just kill Ghost and get this over with.

The Audience: Whaaaaaaaa?

Power airs on Saturdays at 9/8c on Starz.

We love reading the witty observations from Power fans. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise we’ll get to them.

When Angela Valdes strolled into James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, feelings reignited for the high school sweethearts. Their only obstacle was that Angie didn’t reveal that she was working on an FBI drug task force looking to nail someone named “Ghost” and Jamie never mentioned that he goes by the street name “Ghost.” The crazy kids hugged it out and Angie destroyed the evidence implicating Jamie. Now Jamie has gone legit [Editor’s Note: Hahahaha] and can devote himself to stroking Angie’s magnificent chestnut tresses. One hiccup: Tommy Egan–Ghost’s former business partner, dragon and white soul brother has beef with Ghost and has been ordered by drug kingpin Lobos to kill G. Let’s go!

So we open in D.C. with your standard convenience store robbery. Some lady cop arrives and kills one of the culprits but also the innocent store owner. Miss Lady Cop keeps it 100 when it comes to unnecessary police shootings; she just makes up a story about how the store owner got killed and goes on about her business. We will later discover that she is protecting one of the culprits, who is named Dirt. Dirt! And she wants him to go to college. Yes, Dirt, just go on to Oxford and conquer the world.

Miss Lady Cop returns home and–Wait, who dat in her house? Awwwwwww, yeah! Kanan is alive. It goes like this:

Kanan: Hi Jukebox.

Jukebox: Hi.

Kanan: My former protege, Ghost, “killed” me by setting fire to a warehouse in the Season 2 finale. I’m portrayed by 50 Cent, one of the show’s producers, so everybody knew I was alive no matter how improbable. It is quite lovely of you to allow me to recover from my third-degree burns in your home.

Jukebox: You were nice to me when my family rejected me for being a lesbian. So, what’s going on?

Kanan: Plot, plot, Jamie, plot.

Back in New York, Angie, Jamie and Angie’s hair go for a run. It goes like this.

Angie’s Hair: I’m in a ponytail and pretending to be imperfect by exhibiting a few flyaway strands.

The Audience: You know you are perfect, so just stop it.

There is an explicit rough sex scene with one of the important secondary characters and it has something to do with the plot. It goes like this:

Rough Sex Scene: This does not involve Angie and Jamie so let’s pretend that it does. He’s pulling her magnificent chestnut tresses and there is a lot of spanking and “say my name” and yoga contortions going on. Just use your imagination, pervs.

The Audience: Okey-doke.

When she’s not being salty with Ghost or standing around her kitchen slicing heirloom tomatoes, his estranged wife, Tasha is amazing. When it comes to finances, Tasha was the brains of the outfit and she knows how to move money around. Tasha is helping Ghost’s former BFF, Tommy, launder money through her friend Keisha’s salon. Keisha is now going to be the hair weave queen or something. It goes like this:

Hair in a Bag: I am 100% virgin hair.

Angie’s Hair: Go ahead girls, buy that horse hair. You and your tracks still won’t look like as good as me.

FBI agent Greg Knox, Angie’s former boyfriend/doormat turned stalker is stalkerish and tattles to Angie that Jamie isn’t clean and is still entangled with Tommy and the drug biz. Look, Greg, you never get to touch Angie or her hair again, so stop trying to cause trouble. There is another issue, Jamie and Tasha’s son, Tariq, takes a gun to school. Tasha is quite understandably salty to learn that the weapon belongs to Angie. Jamie’s a bit vexed by this too. It goes like this:

Jamie: So my kid had easy access to your gun, what’s that about? Why do you even have a gun?

Angie: Ummm because I am in law enforcement. Look, until the first episode of the season, it wasn’t even clear that you have three kids. They are superfluous and the audience doesn’t give a toss about them so just shut it down. What’s this I hear about your involvement with Tommy?

Jamie: Blah, blah, blah, evasive comment.

Angie’s Hair: Sigh. This is so annoying that I’m going to put myself up into a bun until you are ready for sexy time.

The Plot: Yeah, this is supposed to cause tension in the relationship but even I don’t care. Wake me up for the hair-pulling.

Holly finds out she’s pregnant. It goes like this:

Holly: Hi Tommy.

Tommy: Shhh. I’m playing video games to illustrate that I am too immature to be a good dad. I couldn’t even stop the dog from getting whacked by Lobos’ minion because I’m dragging my feet instead of killing Ghost. Gotta run! I just got a call from Tariq and I have to meet him. I may be mad at Ghost, but I still love Tasha and their three kids: Tariq, the daughter we don’t see much of and the baby who exists only to show that Angie is not ready for all of that. Oh, hi, Ghost. I see you tricked me into meeting you by pretending to be Tariq.

Ghost: Yes. I know you are working with Lobos because of the drug plot but I think he wants to kill me.

Tommy: Ummm

Ghost: So you’re going to help me, right? I know you don’t want me dead.

Tommy: Ummm

Ghost: You better help me because he’s going to get rid of you as soon as you screw up, which is inevitable.

Tommy: Rude. I don’t feel guilty about being ordered to kill you now.

Ghost: Wait, what?

Tommy: Uh, let’s just go to the end credits.

Power airs on Saturdays at 9/8c on Starz.`

We love reading the witty observations from Power fans. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise we’ll get to them.

The long national nightmare is over, Power is back, baby! For those just tuning in, Power is a show about James “Ghost” St. Patrick and Angela Valdes, the high school sweethearts who were reunited and all set for a wonderful life in which Angie would make googly eyes at Jamie, and Jamie would stroke Angies’s magnificent chestnut tresses. A few things blocked their path. Jamie never mentioned that he was a top-level drug dealer and she forgot to mention that she was a federal prosecutor working on a drug task force to bring down someone named “Ghost.” The crazy kids patched things up and Angie didn’t tattle, in fact, she destroyed evidence implicating Ghost. Jamie pinky-swore that he’s out of the drug trade forever. Let’s go!

Jamie is now focused on his nightclub empire. Jamela step out of a limo and it goes like this:

Angela: Wow, the nightclub looks great. You look great, but nothing in the world looks as great as my magnificent chestnut tresses. They are so great they move in slo-mo.

Jamie: Yeah, baby. You know what else is great? I’m totes legit now so don’t worry about my former life as a top-level drug distributor. I’m not Ghost anymore; I’m not even “G.” I’m James and it’s all smooth sailing from here.

Jamela: Okay, it’s 13 minutes in and we haven’t made everyone swoon with steamy sex, so let’s get to it.

The Audience: I’ll be in my bunk.

Tommy Egan: You just do that, Audience. I don’t care about my best friend formerly known as Ghost. He walked away from the business we built just so he could avoid imprisonment and continue to be lovey-dovey with Angela.

Holly: Hi Tommy. Don’t worry about the friend formerly known as Ghost. You have me and the dog. The cute dog, who everyone thought was going to die last season but now it looks like the dog is going to be okay.

The Foreshadowing Fairy: Hi Audience. Don’t get too attached. I’m just saying.

Tommy: Holly. I don’t have time to talk. I’ve gotta go do something related to the plot.

The Plot: Something or other about drugs. It doesn’t involve Jamela being madly and love and having sex, so move on.

Greg Knox: Hi Audience, you may remember me as a federal agent who works with Angie. She’s my ex-girlfriend and I didn’t mind it when she used me as a doormat. But now I know she is in love with our prime suspect, so I stalk her. Fun fact: Stalking Angie is a departmental no-no, so I’m on suspension. I must prove to the agency that instead of arresting Ghost like she was supposed to, Angie let him pet those chestnut tresses. Despite advice to just let it go, I will stare at all the pictures and clippings on the requisite FBI Wall of Surveillance. One day I will make sure Ghost goes to prison and I will have Angie all to myself and I will say: “It puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.”

Jamie returns to his mansion in the sky to talk to his estranged wife. It goes like this.

Jamie: Hi Tasha.

Tasha: Hi G.

Jamie: Don’t call me that! My name is James now.

Tasha: I’m going to start off on a salty note. I was supposed to run away with Shawn the Chauffeur and then somebody put the audience out of their misery and killed him. Was it you?

Jamie: Funny story: Shawn was supposed to kill me because he wanted to please his father, Kanan. Shawn is a better driver than hired assassin so I talked him out of it. Shawn went to Kanan who did what any dad would do, he gunned down Shawn. How else will kids learn, amirite?

Tasha: What will I tell the kids? They loved Shawn.

The Audience: They did? We hardly ever see them. Didn’t you used to have three kids? We never see more than two at a time.

Tasha’s Too-tight White Outfit:  Maybe I shouldn’t be in this scene … or this decade.

Earlier decades: Leave us out of it.

Tommy gets done doing plot stuff and comes home. It goes like this:

Holly: Hi Tommy. What are you doing?

Tommy:  Just sitting here being mad that my bromance with Ghost is over. Oh, my phone is ringing.

Lobos: Hola! you might remember me as the whimsical yet dangerous head of a Mexican cartel. Don’t tell anybody I’m alive. Everyone must think that the jailhouse hit was effective because of something involving the plot. I’ll help you do something or other with the drug business as long as you kill Ghost. If you don’t listen to me, I’ll kill Holly and the dog.

The Audience: No, not the dog!

The Plot: Mike Sandoval, an FBI big shot and Angie’s boss, is working with Lobos because something, something, cartel.

Tommy has to do some plot so he bubble wraps a couple of extras and pushes them off a roof. He’s being extremely reckless and not handling business with the same aplomb as Ghost, so he’s screwing things up already but in a humorous manner.

Jamie and Angela have dinner. It goes like this:

Jamie: Your chestnut tresses look magnificent tonight. Pass the shrimp-fried rice, please.

Angie: I noticed some shady business at the nightclub so I’m mad that you might still be involved in crime. I’d like some duck sauce.

Jamie: I don’t do anything shady now. My name is James. Anything else on your mind?

Angie: I believe you. But I’m not sure I believe you. I’ve been watching you. If your name is still Ghost, then I could lose my job. Oh, Lobos is alive, but plot something. You’re in the clear. I’m glad that Ghost is dead and Lobos can’t cause any trouble. What does my fortune cookie say?

Fortune Cookie: Gulp!

Tommy has finished up doing something about the plot and returns home, it goes like this:

Tommy: Hi Honey. I’m home, I brought you some iffy looking pizza.

The Audience: What kind of pizza is that? It looks like it might be from Papa John’s or some national chain. This is NYC, that is unacceptable. Holly is unacceptable. Holly probably eats pizza with a fork and knife. Ugh.

Tommy: Where are you, Holly? This apartment is too quiet. Why isn’t there barking? Oh, look there is some blood on the floor. Let me follow the trail.

The Audience: Damn it, we knew that dog was never gonna make it.

Jamie makes a phone call, it goes like this:

Jamie: Hi Tommy, call me. This is about plot. I’m Ghost again.

Power airs Saturday at 9/8c on Starz.

We enjoy thoughtful and witty observations from Power fans. Comments don’t appear right away but we promise to get to them.

Warning: We are shameless and hardcore Jamela shippers. If you don’t believe Jamie and Angela are perfect and beautiful and the stuff of unicorns, gumdrops and rainbows, you’re just going to get all mad. Proceed at your own risk.

Power is a gritty crime drama. Ha, ha, just kidding! It’s an epic romance drama about high school sweethearts Jamie “Ghost” St. Patrick and Angela Valdes. They met again and are madly in love and we are madly in love with them. The Starz show gave us everything in 2015: Jamie and Angela and also Angela and Jamie. It went like this:

Holly: So tell me something about yourself, Tommy Egan?
Tommy: As a top-level illegal drug professional, I can’t tell you about my business.
Holly: You’re a top-level illegal drug professional?
Tommy: Oh, shit. Don’t tell Ghost I told you about it.
Holly: Hi Ghost. Let’s be top-level illegal drug professionals together, ‘k?
Ghost: Wait, what? Aren’t you some random cocktail waitress that works in my nightclub?
Pink Sneakers: Hi, I’m an assassin sent here to kill Ghost. Bang bang.
Holly: Aaargh!
Pink Sneakers: Whoops. Bye-eee!
Kanan: Oh, did the assassin I hired a total stranger kill Ghost? LOL.
Sean: No, Dad. Uncle Ghost is alive.
Kanan: 

Ghost: Hi, Honey. I’m home. Life sucks.
Plot: Drugs, something, something.
Tasha: Don’t worry. I know you don’t exhibit much interest in me but I’m good at one thing.
Team Jamela: Annoying us?
Team Not Jamela: Being Jamie’s wife so we can talk smack about Angela?
The St. Patrick Mansion in the Sky: Spend a lot of time lounging about as my square footage continues to grow each week?
Tasha: Well, yes to all of those things. But I meant I’m good at criminal enterprise. To be honest, I’m probably smarter than Ghost, who hasn’t learned how to do the “secret” part of a secret affair. That’s probably why I’m so salty. In any case, start a turf war, Ghost.
Plot: Drugs, something, something.

Angie’s boss at the FBI: You messed up our big drug case. I should fire you.
Angie: Gulp.
Angie’s boss: You are perfect and beautiful and your chestnut tresses deserve a corner office and raise. I won’t fire you, I’ll just demote you by sending you to the white collar division.
Team Jamela: Shut up, Angie is beautiful and perfect and do not ever do anything but worship her.
Angela: Now I can figure out how to find “Ghost,” the top-level illegal drug professional I’m looking for. Time to go see my sweetheart Jamie. Boy, am I lucky that I don’t have to take my work home with me, amirite?

Jamie: Hi Tommy.
Tommy: Hi Ghost. Funny story, your beautiful and perfect girlfriend works for the FBI.
Jamie: There is no way that my beautiful and perfect one true love works for the FBI. People who are as madly as love as we are don’t keep secrets. I sure hope Angie doesn’t find out I’m a top-level illegal drug professional.
Angela: My investigation shows that the top-level illegal drug professional I’m looking for is probably Tommy. Poor Jamie will feel so bad when he finds out.

Plot: Drugs, something, something.
Jamie: The best way to handle this is to go to Miami with Angie. We’ll have a beautiful and perfect time at the Eden Roc Miami Beach, a luxury resort, and spa. We are so beautiful and perfect that we can walk around in chic clothing and never break a sweat. Angie’s luxuriant chestnut tresses will not yield to humidity. I will act all kinds of shifty as I search for Pink Sneakers, but Angie won’t figure it out because she is blinded by our beautiful and perfect love. I just must be careful so that Tasha doesn’t find out about our beautiful and perfect love affair.
Tasha: Hi Jamie, welcome home. You sure are bad at hiding your love affair. I found evidence from the Eden Roc Miami Beach, a luxury resort, and spa. Move out. I’ll wander around here with the two or three kids that we have. I don’t know how many there are. It’s supposedly three, right?
Team Jamela: Welp, now that you know, Tasha, pack your bags. And take Team Not Jamela with you. This show is about Jamela. It’s always been about Jamela. It will always be about Jamela. Why can’t you people see that? WHY? Jamela is rubber and you’re glue and whatever you say bounces off them and sticks to you. Whoops, sorry, we just got carried away.
The St. Patrick Mansion in the Sky: Why does Jamie have to leave? You should leave so that Angie can move in. I’m some sort of organism that adds square footage every episode. I just expanded to include a special room for all of Angie’s hair products because it must take a lot of work to maintain those luxuriant chestnut tresses. Frankly, this apartment is so big that you could all live here with your two or three kids.
Tasha: Welp, guess I’ll have an affair with the chauffeur/lackey Shawn. He’s weird and awkward and calls Ghost “Uncle G.,” which adds a sordid level to this relationship. He also is Kanan’s son. Kanan was G. and Tommy’s boss but then he went to prison for drugs and they got rich without him. Now he’s out and all he has to show for it is some jacket inspired by Thriller. Come give mama a kiss, Shawn.
Shawn: Yay, I never got to touch a girl’s boobies before! You are the best aunt ever.
Tasha: Sigh. Just shut up and take your clothes off.

The Audience: You know, Tasha, we give you a lot of guff but you really are smart and quite lovely and could do better than this hobbledehoy. We don’t want you with Jamie, but this is ridiculous.
Tasha: I know I could do better, but I almost never step foot out of this ever-expanding Mansion in the Sky so the best I can do right now is home-delivery.

Holly: Hi everyone, remember me? After I got out of the hospital, I resumed my relationship with Tommy. Sometimes we had fights, I actually threatened to destroy his Doobie Brothers vinyl, which means I’m an asshole because the Doobie Brothers are awesome.
Angela: Okay so, help me prove that Tommy is the top-level illegal drug professional, who goes by the name of Ghost.
Holly: LOL!
Angela: What?
Holly: Ghost is the chocolately goodness that you have sizzling sex with in nearly every episode.
Angela: Whaaaaaat?
Holly: I’m a cocktail waitress and I figured this out faster than you did. Honestly, Tasha and I are both better at figuring things out. Don’t feel bad. You are beautiful and perfect and you have luxuriant chestnut tresses.
Angie: Hmmm. I better keep this to myself for a while. If I reveal my hand, Jamie and I will fight and that will upset Team Jamela.
Agent Greg Knox: I’m Angie’s former boyfriend and current coworker. I’m still in love with her.
The Audience: That’s understandable.
Greg: I’m going to spy on her and Jamie from afar because I’m all kinds of creepy.
The Audience: Not cool.

Tommy: Ghost, you can’t trust Angie. Your girlfriend will bring about your downfall. Find a nice girl like Holly.
Irony: Hmph, hmph, hmph.
Jamie: Yeah, okay. Psst, Holly. Leave town and keep your mouth shut about my business or I will kill you. And don’t you ever dis the Doobie Brothers again, do you hear me?
Holly: Bye-eee.

Ghost: I gotta go do something careless like get in a fender bender. Too bad Shawn isn’t driving me tonight. I better call Tasha for bail. I hope Angie isn’t lurking about the station gazing at me like her heart is breaking.
Angela: Don’t mind me. I just happen to be in this scene lurking about the station gazing at you like my heart is breaking.
Tasha: I’m here to bail out your cheating ass because you don’t have one other person to call. Don’t you have any non-felonious friends who could bail you out?
Jamie: No, actually. This is a gritty show about drugs. You wouldn’t know that from these recaps though.
Tasha: Who the hell is that beautiful and perfect woman lurking about the station gazing at you like her heart is breaking? And more importantly, what styling products does she use? The color is so rich. There is not a hair out of place.
Jamie: I always loved her and I never loved you. Thanks for bailing me out, though.
Team Jamela: Damn, Jamie. Even we think that was harsh. Poor Tasha.
Jamie: I forgot to mention that she works for the FBI and could ruin our lives.
Tasha: Sigh. I really am the smart one. Okay, keep having sizzling sex with her. That way you can keep and eye on her. Besides, I’m secretly on Team Jamela.

Holly: Hi, Tommy. I was supposed to leave town, I came back to tell you that I’m a snitch, but I did it to keep you out of jail. Let’s go away.
Tommy: So you don’t care about the Doobie Brothers and now this? I’ll have to kill you.
Holly: Oh, look at the time! Gotta go!

Tommy: I think I should kill Angie.
Jamie: Hi, Tasha. I think Tommy might kill the woman I love. I don’t mean you, of course. I mean the one who might lead to the downfall of the drug operation.
Tasha: Yay! That would solve all of my problems.
Jamie: Would you tell him not to kill her?
Tasha: OMFG.

Plot: Drugs, something, something.
Angie: Welp, I found Holly but she says Jamie isn’t Ghost. He’s probably guilty, though. We’ll find out in the big drug raid.
Deus ex Machina: Tommy is going to show up so that it looks like he’s Ghost. By some stretch of the imagination,  Jamie won’t be caught and now everyone at the FBI will like Angie because she solved the case. In other news, the charges against Tommy won’t stick so it’s all’s well that ends well.
Jamie: Sorry, Angie. I couldn’t let Tommy go down like that so I blew up your case. We’re still cool, right?
Angie: Nope.

Kanan: Hi, remember me? I hate Ghost and Tommy. They set me up to go to prison and then they made all this money. I’m going to manipulate my simple son into killing him.
Shawn: I can’t wait to kill Uncle G. and run off with Tasha.
Jamie: You’re not going to kill me, dumbass. Just go away.
Shawn: I changed my mind, Pops.
Kanan: Okay, bang bang, you’re dead.
Tasha: Hmm, I wonder what’s taking Shawn so long?
Kanan: Hi Jamie, I’m here to kill you.
Jamie: Oh, look, I managed to kill you instead!

Greg: Hi Angie. I can’t wait to put your boyfriend in prison.
Angie: Despite the fact that I have given you no signs to think we can ever be a thing again, let me “help” you with the case.
Greg: Yay! Wait, who destroyed all my evidence?! Has anyone seen Angie? Gulp! I’m going to go tell everyone what she did, but nobody will believe me. I’m annoying and should run away with Tasha.
Angie: I’m really mad at Jamie we’re going to break up for good.
Team Jamela: (Rolls eyes)
Angie: I mean it! Oh, Hi Jamie. I love you.
Jamie: I love you, too! Now all of our problems are solved.
Kanan: You know I’m still somehow alive off-screen, right?

We love clever commentary from Jamie and Angela fans. Comments don’t appear right away but we’ll get to them.

Power’s Season 3 returns next summer to Starz.

Jamie “Ghost”  St. Patrick loves Angela Valdes. So what if he’s a drug distributor for a Mexican cartel? So what if she is a federal agent working to nab Felipe Lobos, the head of the cartel? So what if Ghost deliberately screwed up Angela’s case and Angela destroyed evidence against Jamie and now she’ll probably get fired from the FBI? So what? This is Jangela or as I’ve been informed Jamela. So what if they have multiple portmanteaus? Jamie and Angela belong together no matter what and that’s that. This episode of Power is everything. Let’s go!

Poor Angie looks at mementos of her relationship with Jamie. It goes like this:

Angela: I am getting rid of all of my reminders of Jamie.

The Audience: We see you’ve got a snapshot of the two of you from high school tucked in a diary. You probably practice writing your future signature, “Angela St. Patrick.”

Angie: I’m also getting rid of this magnificent diamond necklace and the heels he bought at Bally.

The Audience: Let’s not be hasty.

Angie: I’m also changing his name on my phone to “Do not Answer.”

The Audience: Girl please, you didn’t even throw those things out, you just put them in a tote bag in your closet.

Angela: I’m serious! Can’t you see that my magnificent chestnut tresses are pulled up into the bun of despair?

Angie’s in hot water with the FBI. It goes like this:

Angie: Hi, US Attorney Mike Sandoval.

Sandoval: You are in hot water. Bye.

Sandoval then meets with Greg Knox, Angie’s ex-boyfriend, current co-worker and permanent doormat.

Greg: Hi, I have information against Angie. She was working with Jamie St. Patrick.

Sandoval: How do you know all this? Was it because you were stalking Angela and taking pictures of her and being kind of creepy?

Greg: Um.

Sandoval: Look, every man on staff has been close to being brought up on harassment charges, we all want to stroke her beautiful chestnut tresses. You’re just mad that Angie loves Jamie St. Patrick so you’re making up stories.

Greg: But …

Sandoval: Have you seen Jamie? Obviously you’re jealous. Angie says you are harassing her. Stop being a stalker. She registered an official complaint. You’re in hot water.

The Foreshadowing Fairy: This is not going to end well.

Tommy Egan, Jamie’s best friend, business partner and dragon hangs out with Jamie’s wife, Tasha, at the St. Patrick’s mansion in the sky and crows about how Jamie got Tommy out of jail by messing up Angie’s case. He thinks that means Jamie doesn’t love Angie anymore and was just using her. Tasha appears to be kind of hopeful, but she’s still looking for her limo driver/awkward lover, Shawn. Apparently she is still waiting to run off with him and her two or three kids. It’s gonna be a long wait. In the meantime, she shows up at her estranged husband’s hotel in the sky to ask if he really did put his family ahead of Angie. She looks cautiously optimistic. Jamie looks optimistic that she’ll get lost when he tells her he knows about her affair with Shawn and proceeds to mock it.

Ghost visits Tommy, who surprisingly still has his dog. Tommy is crushed to hear that his hero Kanan ordered a hit on Jamie. Fortunately, Kanan’s clumsy son, Shawn, was a lousy hitman. They don’t know that Kanan’s brand of tough love includes gunning down his own son. Well, kids have to learn, right? Tommy goes to Kanan and pretends that he’s turned on G. and wants to team up to bring St. Patrick down. Kanan, who might be the most clever character on Power, drops a couple of truth bombs: Tasha probably helped Ghost set up Kanan to go to prison and G. did not kill Pink Sneakers in Miami, he lied about that, Kanan’s young protégé, Dre, was the one to take her out. A spat ensues it goes like this:

Tommy: Hi Jamie, you haven’t been honest with me. Even Tasaha, who I love more than anyone in the whole world may have deceived me.

Jamie: Let’s talk about your big mouth. You told your girlfriend Holly Weaver all about our business and that almost led to our downfall because the feds pulled her in for questioning.

The Audience: When you’re right, you’re right.

Jamie: I don’t have time for this. I’ve got to go deal with Simon Stern who swindled me out of control of my nightclub, Truth. I’m working with his wife, who kind of hates him. I will not only regain control of Truth, but I’ll get to take over some of his other clubs, too. I also have to try to get back with Angie, but she’s going to be mad at me and keep her hair in a bun so that I can’t run my fingers through it.

Tommy: Fine, I’m going to go walk my dog in the park.

The Audience: Uh-oh, we’re worried about the dog. This scene has a real Law & Order: SVU vibe to it, right? Doesn’t it remind you of one of those park shots where some random character finds the body?

Tommy: Let’s focus. I’m only dropping the leash so that Holly, who has been missing, will grab the leash. I will threaten to choke her out in broad daylight until she informs me that Ghost ordered her to leave town. I won’t believe her until she gives me a bag filled with cash and a fake ID. I’m beginning to question my loyalty to Ghost.

In the meantime,  Jamie visits Ruiz and urges him to leave town. Lobos gets stabbed in his cell. Dre meets with Jamie to report on Kanan and then he goes back to Kanan to report on Jamie. It seems like he wants to align himself with Jamie, which is the smart move. Jamie has a good lifestyle, he has a  mansion in the sky and the set designers regularly add square footage.

It’s time for Angie’s court hearing. She’s going to lose her job and maybe even her freedom once Isobel Ruiz testifies that she helped Angie get up to some shenanigans to make the case against Tommy stick. There is some important plot about the sketch used to identify Tommy as Ghost. It didn’t involve Jangela sex or her lovely hair so I wasn’t paying attention. In any case, Isobel doesn’t show up, so there is no case against Angie and her career is saved. It goes like this:

Cooper Saxe: Hi, I’m the Assistant US Attorney. As it turns out everyone in the Lobos New York network has gone missing or been killed within 36 hours. Drifty and Vladimir are dead. Someone killed them and placed something that looks like tarot cards on the bodies. Ruiz is missing and someone just stabbed Lobos in prison. He may not make it. You aren’t in hot water at all. I can go back to bordering on sexual harassment now.

The Audience: Not Lobos! He’s such a fun, quirky villain. #SaveLobos

Jamie has one more thing to take care of. Kanan shows at a warehouse to meet with Tommy, but Jamie is there with a gun. It goes like this:

Kanan: I am such a badass that I will berate you, whack you with a 2×4, put a plastic bag over your head and make a speech about how much I hate you.

Jamie: I will take advantage of your chattiness to stab you. Then I will pour gasoline on your body, toss a lighter and walk away. You will almost certainly be dead.

The Audience: Oh, no! We love Kanan! He can’t be dead! #SaveKanan

Nagging Suspicion: 50 Cent is a producer, don’t get all panicky yet. You haven’t seen the end of the episode.

Tommy shows up late, which Jamie finds suspicious. They engage in a war of words. It goes like this:

Tommy: I am done with you right now. You’re shady. I want to take over the business. I’m pulling a gun on you.

Jamie: I have a gun, too. Hey, meet my new dragon, Dre, he is also armed.

Tommy: We’re no longer friends. Goodbye, I’ll go scheme.

The rest of the episode is crazy. It goes like this:

Angie: Hi Jamie, I just came to your hotel room to say that I should walk away from you.

Jamie: Yep, you should, but I love you. All of my associates are gone. I’m not Ghost anymore. I’m just Jamie now. I have a few nightclubs and we can resume our romance and do things like visit the Eden Roc Miami Beach, a luxury resort, and spa.

Angie: I love you.

The Audience: Told you so. Start kissing now, please.

At the mansion in the sky

Tasha: Hey Keisha, I can’t believe Shawn is gone.

Keisha: I can believe it, your plan to run off was stupid.

Tasha: Uh-oh, my phone is ringing.

Keisha: I will accompany you to the morgue to see Shawn’s body.

In the lobby of Angie’s apartment.

Jangela: We are so happy and in love. Look, Angie is no longer sporting the bun of despair. Her tresses are flowing again.

Angie: I’m going to randomly throw out some trash now.

Greg: I am going to wait until Jamie leaves and then corner you down here all alone and get way too close and creepy and I will threaten to get even with you and Ghost next season.

At Truth

Jamie: Hmm, there is a blood stained card on my desk. I guess I’ll have a flashback to how I killed Drifty and Vladimir and maybe killed Lobos and made it all look like the Jiminez brothers were behind it.

The Audience: OMG!

At Lobos’ bedside

Sandoval: Hi Boss!

The Audience: OMG! OMG! OMG!

At Tommy’s loft

Tommy: I will ignore Tasha’s calls, make up with Holly and we will go walk the dog in the park.

Lobos: Just calling to say that you should work for me, but first you have to kill Ghost or I will kill Holly and the dog.

The Audience: OMG, not the dog!

In bed

Jangela: Let’s spoon. Might as well give Team Jangela a thrill.

At the warehouse

Extras: Wow, it looks like someone got out of the warehouse fire.

The Audience: Wait, what? How? He was surely burned up, did Kanan escape? OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!

Power: See you next year!

James St. Patrick had everything, a family, a mansion in the sky, a thriving nightclub and a secret identity as a major drug distributor, Ghost. He had a loyal best friend, business partner and dragon, Tommy Egan. Well, he didn’t actually have everything. He didn’t have his high school sweetheart Angela Valdes. She sashayed into his club and they had no real obstacles, except for her being part of an FBI task force, determined to put away Jamie’s boss, kingpin Felipe Lobos. One thing led to another in this screwball comedy and Angie nailed Lobos and Tommy, whom she wants to testify against Lobos. Jamie narrowly missed capture. When you’re in love, you let a few things slide. You don’t nitpick. Don’t tell Mr. TV Recaps I told you this, but he thinks you’re supposed to shake all beverages. He doesn’t just shake orange juice, like a normal person, he shakes milk. Who does that? Who shakes milk? Are you supposed to shake milk? I don’t know, we’ve been together for two decades, maybe he’s right. Mr. TV Recaps overlooks the fact that I can’t just watch Power quietly like a normal person. There’s a lot of gasps and talking back to the screen and carrying on when Power is on. Power is the kind of show you watch with sound effects.

In any case, we overlook each other’s foibles. Angie really wants to do the same thing with Jamie. Let’s go!

Angie’s boss Mike Sandoval is impressed with the way she has handled the Lobos case. He flirts in Spanish about her promising future. Sandoval is a little shady, no? Hot, but shady. Of course, Angie’s jealous ex-boyfriend, current co-worker and permanent doormat Greg Knox watches all this with pursed lips because he knows that Angie is somehow involved with Jamie. Greg is not Team Jangela or Jamela, which I’ve been informed is the correct Jamie/Angela portmanteau. Greg is Team Valdox, which is a horrible shipper name, so he should give up.

Tommy is in the slammer. He handles it like a badass, which is probably the only way one should handle prison. you don’t want to go in all soft like Tobias Beecher. Orange is a tricky color to pull off, but surprisingly, Tommy wears it well. Seriously, Piper Chapman wishes she could pull it off like that. Seriously, though, Joseph Sikora plays the scenes brilliantly. It’s the facial expressions and the way he moves through the scenes. Even the extras playing off of him are good. There was some woman holding a cup of coffee, did you notice her watching the strip search? Whoever she is, she’ll go far.

Tommy is led into the courtroom for his bail hearing. It goes like this:

Tommy: Hey, there is another man sitting at this table, I wonder who it could be?! I’ll behave in a slightly aggressive manner.

Other Man: Hi, my name is Joseph Proctor. I am wearing a suit and I am sitting at the defendant’s table. I’m probably your lawyer. Have you never seen a courtroom drama? Oh, look, here is the opposing attorney, Angie Valdes. Damn, that is some pretty hair.

The Judge: I agree. Bail denied, but not the beauty of those rich chestnut tresses. Can you suggest a creme rinse?

The Audience: Word.

After his bail hearing, Tommy’s first call is to Tasha. Mrs. St. Patrick then loudly confronts her husband at the hotel in the sky. It goes like this:

Tasha: I will now berate you because you have poor seduction skills. That’s why you couldn’t get Angela sprung enough to prevent this from happening. I told you to do a better job in bed in order to “control her mind.”

Then Audience: First off, Jamie knows what he’s doing when it comes to sex so just be quiet. And sex as mind control? Really, Tasha? Ugh. That doesn’t even make sense.

Jamie: Lower your voice.

Tasha: You’re selling out Tommy, just like you sold out Kanan.

The Audience: Kanan? Are we Kanan superfans now?

Tasha is ready to leave Manhattan and she tells Keisha about her plans. It goes like this:

Tasha: I’m going to run off with Ghost’s money and his kids.

Keisha: This sounds like an iffy plan.

Tasha: It’s cool, the kids and I will live under assumed names. They seem to prefer their dad, but it’s not like they are old enough to just call Ghost. I spend a lot of time standing around so I don’t know if I have marketable job skills, but I’ll figure something out.

Keisha: Um.

The Audience: Okay, let’s think about this Tasha, you live in a mansion in the sky, the marvelous set designers add square footage every single week so you may not even be able to find the kids in a hurry. You used to have three kids, we think, and now we only see two, one of them is probably lost. Where’s Chuck when you need him?

Tommy is suspicious because Ghost wasn’t taken into custody and blabs to Proctor, who was hired by Ghost, that G. and Angie are lovers. Tommy suspects  they are in cahoots and making him the patsy.The feds are willing to cut a deal with Tommy if he’ll snitch on Lobos. It’s not happening. Since Tommy won’t snitch, the feds note that he’ll be in prison forever.

Kanan and Dre give Shawn a lesson in Hitman 101, It goes like this:

Kanan: Are you ready to murder Ghost in cold blood? I need him out of the way so I can take over his drug network.

Shawn: Yep! Don’t worry Dad. I’ll run off with Tasha and her two or three kids.

Dre: While I admire your can-do spirit, this is going to be challenging work.

Shawn: I’ve got this. One question: Which way do I hold this gun thingy?

Dre: Sigh.

The Foreshadowing Fairy flutters in and gives Shawn some side-eye.

Angie makes a couple of visits to Ghost, and they dance around the issue of Ghost’s identity. We are treated to some husky whispers and long embraces, but Angie is in no mood for it, so we are cheated out of steamy Jangela sex.

Tommy is taken to see Angie. he makes some vulgar references to her lady parts and insinuates that he could rat out G. They are unexpectedly summoned to the courtroom, Joe Proctor asks the judge to release Tommy. There was some funny business with that sketch used to ID him. There is no probable cause so he’s released. Tommy is delightfully smirky as he leaves the courtroom. The judge reprimands Angie that someone on the FBI staff messed up. Jamie picks up Tommy and they act cool with one another. It looks like maybe Tommy’s not suspicious anymore, but he probably still is, right?

Angie goes to Truth to yell at Jamie. It goes like this.

Angie: Remember all those times I had an inkling that you might be Ghost and I rifled through your belongings and spied on you?

Jamie: Uh-huh. I did my own snooping and I outsmarted with you. I figured out that there was some funny business with the sketch so I sabotaged your case. Now, let’s stop fussing. We can make all of our dreams come true. Pack your bags and let’s go to the Eden Roc Miami Beach a luxury resort, and spa. I’ll stroke your magnificent hair all day and we’ll live happily ever after.

Angie: I don’t want to go to the Eden Roc Miami Beach, a luxury resort and spa. I wanted to live happily ever after with Jamie, not Ghost. You’re just “a fantasy.”

The Audience: Yes, Jamie is certainly a fantasy. Kiss and makeup. There’s only one episode of this season left. We need to see some happy Jangela.

Angela: Nope, I will now walk out in tears. I’m even pretty when I cry.

Greg: Don’t mind me, I’ll just lurk across the street and secretly watch you because I’m kind of creepy and probably have a wall covered with pictures of you.

Jamie’s bad day continues with Shawn attempting to murder him. It goes like this:

Shawn: Hey, Uncle G.

Jamie: Hi.

Shawn: I’ve been acting shifty all day because I was planning to kill you, but I made rookie mistakes so I didn’t get to do it yet.

Jamie: Look, Angie won’t let me touch her glorious hair, I don’t have time for this.

Shawn: Well, I have to kill you. I’ll waste time talking about Tasha and how you set up my father, Kanan, so he had to spend a decade in prison. Now, how do I work this gun thingy?

Jamie: So you’re involved with Tasha, huh? Thanks for blowing up her spot like that. You’re like one of those movie villains who always has to give the hero a little speech, thus giving said hero a chance to defeat said villain. I’m just going to take this gun away from you and yell at you. I could kill you right now, but I’m giving you a chance for a better life. Don’t turn out like Kanan and me. Whatever you do, don’t stop to make any more speeches, just go.

The Foreshadowing Fairy: Sigh. Just get on with it, my wings are getting tired.

Shawn: Okay, maybe I will go visit my father to make a speech. Ghost was right, Kanan should never have asked me to kill someone. I hope he doesn’t get mad.

Kanan: I’m mad. Let me show you how to use a gun thingy as I kill you.

Tasha: I wonder where Shawn is. We’re about to have a great life together on the lam.

At the FBI offices, Greg faces off with Angie.

Greg: I know you’re involved with Jamie. He’s going to prison and I’m going to make sure that happens tonight.

Angie: You’re right, I loved him. He deserves to go to prison. Hey, let’s wait until the morning to make sure we have a solid case. Show me everything you have.

Greg: Okay, I’ll show you every bit of evidence. I’m sure glad you don’t love him anymore.

Angie: I’m just going to ransack your office when you turn your back and probably destroy all the evidence.

Greg: Oh, shit.

The Power finale (sniff) airs August 15 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Starz