Abbie’s dad would probably buy her coffee but she’d just say no.
Photo: FOX

Yay, Sleepy Hollow Friday! I had dinner plans last night so I couldn’t watch live with my Sleepy Sisters and I started writing this at 3 a.m. One of my best friends took me out for a belated birthday celebration at this amazing restaurant owned by a celebrity chef. (By the way, my friend and Mr. TV Recaps mocked me a little bit with comments like, “Wow, how nice of you to miss Sleepy Hollow.”) My friend and I split seafood crepes and broccoli salad with candied pecans and sliced pears; my entrée was a Long Island duck breast. It was a lovely evening. Sometimes the people in your life just want to show their love with a grand gesture. And you accept their thoughtfulness and they are happy and you are happy and everyone is happy. By everyone, I mean Team Ichabbie!  If you’re Grace Abigail Mills you don’t do that and then— even though we love you— we might have to throw a little shade. Gah! Here are my pre-recap stream-of-consciousness ramblings.

1. Look at this “previously on” segment. Damn, there are a lot of black men on this show now. Agent Daniel Reynolds, Randall Martin, The Hidden One, Ezra Mills. It’s like the Million Man March stopped in Sleepy Hollow.
2. Speaking of, The Hidden One is such a jackass to my beloved Pandora. All he does is freaking complain about his “hunger.” Pack a snack next time: Some trail mix, string cheese, a mini box of raisins, Slim Jim or beef jerky, mandarin oranges, some Wasabi peas, a protein bar. How hard is that? Pandora can find another brother in Swirltown, USA. She doesn’t need to listen to this kvetching. Little Miss Crazy Pants got up to a lot of monkeyshines to resurrect him and he’s just insufferable.
3. Ooh, Ichabod knows his way around the kitchen now. That damn sexy hobo has been sitting around watching Barefoot Contessa so he could impress his new wife. Opera, wine, flowers, candles. Swoon. This is a huge moment. It’s yuuuuge! The “better off as friends” contingent can take a seat now.
4. Abbie says she doesn’t need to be pampered. Shut up, Abbie. You do need to be pampered. What is the matter with you? Hanging out drinking beer is fine, but you are not Crane’s bro, just sit your ass down and drink the wine and enjoy the dinner. He is speaking Italian, it’s a romantic language. Sheesh.
5. Actually, last week when they were drinking beer, I was trying to remember if we have ever seen Abbie drink wine. The ladies in my social circle  are winos, wine enthusiasts. We see Abbie with beer and she enjoys the hard stuff once in a while.
6. I mean hard liquor. Get your mind out of the gutter, pervs.
7. Aww, Ichabod and Abbie have plans to see a movie with Joe and Jenny. That’s a double date!
8. When Crane describes E.T. as a movie about “a diminutive being stranded far from home,” it sounds like an inside joke about petite Abbie in that other dimension.
9. Seriously, though, its highly improbable that Jenny or Joe would sit through E.T. No way. Perhaps they have to go with family films so Crane won’t be scandalized. Can you imagine taking Crane to see Last Tango in Paris? 
10. Oh, so instead of this dinner, Abbie would rather go to the shooting range by herself. I can’t with Abbie right now; you talk to her.
11. Pandora and the Hidden One, Abbie and Ichabod, Jenny and Joe—this show must drive some folks crazy. There have been suspect “fans” in the past. Were they a little racist?  Let’s ask Francis Urqhart.
12. Oh, Daniel is at the shooting range. Is this a date? No, they both just happen to be there. Or so he says. He wants a relationship again. Love triangle? If he can get Abbie to go on a date, more power to him.
13. So Pandora didn’t kill Atticus Nevins, after all. Good. Sleepy Hollow has really gotten on board with the worldbuilding. They’re not just writing out potentially interesting characters willy-nilly anymore.
14. Okay, Nevins is talking about his backstory and Sheriff Corbin. We need a Clancy Brown flashback. I don’t care if a 57-year-old man is playing himself as a 20-year-old. I’d suspend disbelief for Clancy Brown. Who’s with me?
15. It’s remarkable that Sheriff Corbin is still such a presence on the show. We had him for less than 15 minutes in the pilot and then there were a few flashbacks here and there and the voice recordings, yet he remains an important character. Can Corbin have a twin or something?
16. Uh-oh, Abbie sees that symbol from the catacombs again. She’s losing it. This is exciting. Nicole Beharie gets to show off her range in a way we don’t always get to see because Abbie is deadpan. Without naming names, Tom Mison and Nicole Beharie can run circles around actors on some other series with astronomical ratings.
17. Something something plot. I should pay attention to whatever is happening with Nevins and this monster. I’ll do that on the re-watch for the recap. Right now, I can only think about how Abbie should be eating the freaking dinner Crane prepared and letting him take care of her.
18. Wait, Randall is dead?!  This creepy monster just killed him. Damnit show, We just gave you props for keeping characters around.
19. Sorry Pandora, your dating pool just got smaller. Well, you still have options.
20. Rosewood commercial with Morris Chestnut. Is that Taye Diggs? He’s on Rosewood, too? See, Pandora? You can do a crossover!
21. So we get an Abbie scene with her dad, Ezra! She’s afraid that she’ll unravel like her mom. The writers are mining the Mills family history, bravo! They get a gold star.
22. Welp, poor Ichabod is home alone eating a pitiful sandwich now. Abbie says she’ll make some more and told him to: “give me a hand.”
23. Yes, that’s what we’ve been saying, Abbie. Sigh.
24. She wants beer and wings. Okay, Abs. Have it your way.
25. It’s not like she lives her life as a dudette. You’ve seen Abbie’s home, it’s tastefully appointed. She’s not sitting around on milk crates having belching contests. And, of course, she offers to pay for a round of drinks. Why can’t she let someone else take care of her once in a while? She needs a shrink. Just drop her off at Tarrytown Psychiatric for some out-patient therapy.
26. Please weigh in, Sleepyheads. You can share dissenting views here. Tell me if I’m wrong. And yes, I know it’s a show. I’m not mad at the writers, I’m mad at a fictional character, which means Abbie isn’t the only one who needs therapy.
27. OMG, Abbie has a storage shed where she keeps her secret whatever it is! Heh. Last season, we thought she was sleeping out of her car, now the writers have given her all kinds of real estate. Next week, we’ll find out Abbie owns an apartment building, parking garage and strip mall. She’s Rich Uncle Pennybags all of a sudden. 
28. Poor Crane, he probably stopped at the Romance Depot and bought scented oils for a sensual massage. Crane loves to flail his hands about and he’s got twitchy fingers. Let’s see him put them to use on Abbie’s neck and shoulders. He can give her what she kneads…

You can expect more ranting and raving in the recap. We love your insights so please share. Comments don’t appear right away but we promise we’ll get to them.

Sleepy Hollow airs Fridays at 8/7c on Fox.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.