Photos: ABC

Intrigue, deception and negative campaigning; it’s the New Hampshire presidential primary! Scratch that, it’s The Bachelor and Ben Higgins is thinning the herd. The ladies hope Olivia Cardi is the next to go. Our Bachelor analyst Anddrée H. gives you the play-by-play. —Elaine F.

A trip to the Bahamas makes you think about fun in the sun, but on The Bachelor, things are getting serious. L-bombs are dropping and the trip is overcast for a couple of the ladies. In this episode, we find out that Leah is a mean girl, chilling with pigs is a terrible group date and Olivia really isn’t fooling anybody.

Andrée: Will Olivia get axed or not? The suspense is killing me already. I hope that they don’t drag this out too long. I think that Olivia has the ability to talk herself out of this situation. Good job bringing up the target on your back, that’s a good way to wriggle out of this.

Elaine: These girls want Ben to take back Olivia’s safe-from-elimination rose. Would they like a guy who did that? How tacky and wussy would that be?  

Andrée: Seriously. Ben clearly prides himself on being chivalrous. So far, I think Olivia is handling this conversation perfectly. I don’t see how Ben could dump her after this. And now she is turning on the waterworks just to cement her bullied position. Perfect.

Elaine: I’m feeling Olivia’s point of view. She likes to read in her room and she’s surrounded by a bunch of imbeciles like Emily. According to her bio, one of top three items on Em’s bucket list is to: “Go to Six Flags and ride every single ride!” Dare to dream, Emily, dare to dream.

Andrée: I love the looks on the other girls faces as Ben walks back in with Olivia on his arm. When the girls gang up on the hot one, it almost never works, at least not right away.

Elaine: They want him to say:  “I really like you and keep giving you roses, but the other girls are jealous, so you’ve got to go.”

Andrée: “Come at me, bro” Yes. Olivia. Yes. Can’t take her down that easily, ladies.

Elaine: Loved that line. Olivia looks dead serious too.

Andrée: Rose ceremony time. I love that the only thing that the other girls can focus on is the fact that someone more deserving than Olivia will be going home. My prediction: the twin. Let’s see.

Elaine: The twin offers nothing when she flies solo. I want him to get rid of her ASAP so she can go make her dreams come true at Six Flags.

Jennifer

Andrée: She’s definitely better as a double act. Emily and Haley should find themselves some average-looking twin boys and have a strange little group life together. With Amanda, Lauren H. and Olivia clutching their safe-from-elimination roses, the ladies await their fate. First rose goes to Caila, then Lauren B., JoJo, Becca, Leah and the final rose of the night goes to Emily, sending Jennifer home.

Elaine: I don’t recall anything about Jennifer except thinking, “Who are you?” whenever she wandered into the frame.

Andrée: As soon as I predicted Olivia going home, the camera panned to Jennifer and I thought, “Who is that?” and realized my prediction was going to be wrong. Ben announces to the ladies that a lot of sun, beach and ocean is in their future because they are going to the Bahamas! I love it when they start to whittle down because the girls get much nicer accommodations and dates. Ooooooh, the two-on-one is this week. I bet it’s Olivia and someone else. I fear this might be Olivia’s last week. Eeep.

Elaine: Things aren’t looking so good for her. I think Olivia has outlived her usefulness as the designated villainess. The show’s narrative is that she spends all of her time grabbing Ben away from the other girls and cackling over her rose. That’s okay, Olivia, you’re still my boo. My crazy, stalky, self-absorbed boo.

Andrée: Dirty. Calia gets another one-on-one before Leah or Emily or Olivia even gets a first date. Hopefully Caila’s date is better than hot tubbing in a convenience store. Anything has to be better than that. She and Ben are kissing fish. I stand corrected.

Elaine: I’m not surprised Ben’s taking Caila on another date, she’s one of the only girls who stands out from the pack of ho-hum blondes and is one of the prettiest girls in the house. At this point, I’m rooting for her to be The Bachelorette, if only because I’ll remember her. After that awful date where she had to sit in a hot tub with Kevin Hart, she is entitled to a proper one-on-one.

Andrée: Don’t worry Leah, maybe he is saving the best for last — remember the dates get better the longer you hold out for one.

Elaine: I don’t think Leah is in “best for last” territory. Leah, sobbing to the camera about looking like a fool because he hasn’t taken you on a one-on-one is the thing that makes you look like a fool.

Andrée: I fear you are correct. I am doing a whole lot of speaking too soon this episode. Must be all this wine. I am finding this date with Caila to be pretty one-note so far. I think she has a chance at being a real contender with Ben since they are both equally average. I just feel like she’s super short for him.

Elaine: Okay, first of all, I’m 5’1” and Caila is three inches taller than me. Why so much hate for fun-size girls?

Andrée: Whoa! Caila dropped the “love” bomb already That seems soon. She should have stopped talking. She just keeps making this worse and worse. “I love you but I don’t know if I can love you and you are afraid of being unlovable and I am afraid that I will hurt you”. Might as well wait for the limo to escort you home.

Elaine: Caila just sidestepped the mandatory “Cry to me about your tragic story” portion of the date. Good for her not playing along with that pity party. I love that she said her biggest fear is hurting him. Translation: “I’m just in this to break into show business. Don’t get attached.” Caila just skyrocketed to the top of my list, which means I want her to make it to the finals so she can be The Bachelorette.

Ben and Caila

Andrée: Yeah how is that for blunt honesty? Lauren B., Becca, Amanda, JoJo, Lauren H. and Leah are all going on the group date, which means the two-on-one will be Emily and Olivia. Man, that’s tough. I hope Emily doesn’t spend the entire time trying to persuade Ben to send Olivia home.

Elaine: Naturally they picked the enemies for this two-on-one date. Well, Emily considers Olivia her enemy. Olivia seems barely aware of Em’s presence.

Andrée: Back to Caila’s date, she keeps making Ben more confused. Caila said that the way she knows she is falling in love is because she feels understood. I don’t think anyone understands her at all! Certainly not in this moment!

Elaine: Ben spends a lot of time looking baffled and uncomfortable.

Andrée: “It’s almost attractive that…” is not how I want any sentence describing me starting off. I am surprised he gave her a rose.

Elaine: A challenge is attractive. With the exception of dearly-departed Jubilee, Ben hasn’t had any challenges.

Andrée: Is it just me or does Ben automatically look drunk whenever he is sweaty? Just a random thing I have noticed.

Elaine: I don’t know. I usually have to be a little drunk to watch this.

Andrée: Man most of these girls on this date look almost exactly the same. I guess Ben has a type eh?

Elaine: See? That’s what I meant. At least I can identify Caila when she is on-screen. So there are swimming pigs in the Bahamas. I didn’t know that was a thing.There is nothing cute about these pigs chasing the girls around on the beach.

Andrée: OMG, it’s the pig beach! I have been here. They lie to you and tell you the pigs won’t bite you. My mom actually got bit by one of those pigs. Got her good too. Pretty terrifying. This date is not cool any longer. This date is giving me horrible flashbacks.

Elaine: What? Your mom is so fabulous that now I disapprove of this date even more. I hope the offending pig got sent off to the bacon factory. Astonishingly, this date is more nightmarish than being stuck in a hot tub with Kevin Hart. Sometimes I start to warm up to Ben and then he does something to reset the dial to annoyance. I hate him for thinking that this hellscape could be fun.

Andrée: I love that Ben thinks the girls are all having a blast when, in fact, they are in pure hell. I will have to get my mom to show you that album. Whoever dreamt this up as a tourist attraction clearly had one too many piña coladas.

Elaine: What do you think about Ben pulling JoJo aside to talk about how hard the process is? I’m thinking she just entered “I love you like a sister” territory.  

Andrée: I felt a bit uncomfortable during that scene too. The whole date is just awkward. Why the hell are they letting Emily call her twin again? As if we don’t have enough girl drama happening there really is no need to add extra.

Elaine: And all Emily does is obsess over Olivia. This is veering into Single White Female territory.

Andrée: This is a strange group date. He is trying to have one-on one-time with girls in front of other girls. All you have to do is take them off somewhere privately to the side. I like that Ben responds to Leah complaining about not getting a one-on-one date and Caila getting two, by telling her that if she really wanted to, she could make the group dates work. Kind of a jerk move on his part I think. This whole experience is clearly beginning to weigh on him a bit.

Elaine: What the hell is that humongous tattoo on Ben’s side? Did we know about this? What does it say? Is it a miniature copy of the Constitution? Well, at least the ladies have been rescued from the Bay of Pigs.

Andrée: He is just so yuck. Everything about shirtless Ben is a turnoff for me. Hopefully now that they are all wearing clothes and drinking the rest of the night will go better!

Elaine: Becca is still hanging around. Since the show brought Becca on as a surprise, it’s weird that she doesn’t get much airtime. Maybe the producers expected more drama from her and it didn’t pan out. I still don’t remember her from Chris Soules’ season.

Andrée: Becca is a fan favorite for some unknown reason. I can already hear my mom getting mad at me for saying that. She’s a big Becca fan for some unknown reason!

Elaine: Well, if your mom likes Becca, I guess I should give her a chance.

Andrée: Ben and Lauren B. were the only two hitting it off at the pig beach, I can see where Becca is coming from on that one. At least she only spent a small part of her one-on-one time talking about another woman and used the rest of it kissing as she should!

Elaine: Lauren B. is obviously Ben’s favorite. Their moments together seem genuine in an “And they lived boringly ever after” sort of way. Olivia is not the one the women should find threatening.

Andrée: I think Lauren B. has a strong chance of winning. I have been stalking her Instagram. She seems to be hiding her ring finger in a lot of pictures. I read too much into these things I know. This is such a boring group date. Do we really have to sit here and watch Ben reassure all the ladies in the exact same way one after another? Someone needs to get drunk and start a brawl to spice this date up a little bit. Too bad one of the pigs didn’t go—wait for it—hog wild and bite someone.

Elaine: Bwahaha!

Andrée: Olivia, of course, has full confidence about this two-on-one date. It’s funny that she mentioned that she and Emily are the same age and she is going to feel like Em’s mom. I agree, Emily acts as if she just turned 19.

Elaine: What’s Becca doing with her hair? It looks like she’s wearing a Bumpit. Maybe she’s the girl whose fake hair Ben spotted on the bedside last week. She looks like a country star. Just add some fringe and she’s ready for the Grand Ole Opry. Sorry, Andrée’s mom, I promise won’t say anything else about Becca.

Leah

Andrée: You make me laugh! I was trying to hold back so my mom wouldn’t get mad at me but I’ll agree, it’s all terrible. Chris Harrison is obsessed with country music so maybe that’s why we have to see this Becca girl nonstop. It might be because I just poured my third glass of wine, but I am having trouble telling Leah and Lauren B. apart. Oh, Leah is now throwing Lauren B. under the bus.

Elaine: Oooh, Leah is the new Head Bitch in Charge. I don’t remember Lauren B. doing anything wrong aside from being a nice boring girl. These girls are going to miss Olivia, she may be an attention-seeking stalker but she never campaigned against the other girls.

Andrée: Lauren B. doesn’t even know how to respond to this. I have a strong feeling this is just coming out of nowhere. I have never seen her be anything but boring on this show so far. Unforgettable would be the first word I would use to describe her time here.

Elaine: That was a really mean thing for Leah to do. The fact that Ben is actually talking to Lauren B. about this gossip makes him seem like a junior high school girl.

Andrée: Wow, Leah denies that she said anything. The Bachelor gods have granted my request for drama. I hope that Ben calls her out on it. He’s such a puss though, I don’t know if he will.

Elaine: Wowser, Leah is a two-faced liar. I like her now.

Andrée: Amanda gets the rose for the group date. Probably because she was the only one who didn’t cause any drama tonight. For such a dramatic date, it sure was boring.

Elaine: Since Lauren B. was sitting there crying her eyes out in front of him and the other girls, I thought Ben was going to give her a comfort rose. Maybe it’s the editing, but he seems way too smiley and oblivious to the fact that the woman sitting next to him is a wreck. In fairness to Ben, has had to deal with a lot of crazy. It’s like he is always in the agonizing death throes. He might just be numb now.

Andrée: I have to think that they edited out the nice things Ben said to Lauren B., because there is no way he just ignored that fact. Seems like the ladies are going to have a brawl back at the house. I can get into this. Oh, even better, Leah is going to Ben’s place to try to cement this. I bet he sends her home.

Elaine: Surely Leah  couldn’t be that dense.

Andrée: “I don’t want to sit here and say bad things about Lauren but…”

Elaine: Oh, wow. Leah is that dense.

Andrée: Leah is just burying herself. When will these women learn that you can’t build a connection with someone by talking about somebody else?

Elaine: Honestly, I never remember Leah. She has made no impression on me whatsoever before now. You have to wonder if even Ben can tell them apart. She has used her alone time with him to cry, throw shade at other girls and then double-down on it.

Andrée: Especially don’t sneak into his place after hours to talk shit about another girl. Leah got what she deserved plain and simple.

Elaine: She deserved it, but I’m worried that for the remainder of the season, it’ll be a bunch of boring girls. I think Caila could be a troublemaker, but she strikes me as someone who has her head in the game and knows she could be the Bachelorette if she plays her cards right.

Andrée: I love that Leah claimed she wouldn’t have said anything about Lauren had she known Ben was going to send her home. What exactly did she think would happen? I bet she’s an Internet troll, telling Kim Kardashian she isn’t pretty and such. She strikes me as one of those.

Elaine: Totally. We should go troll Leah on Twitter right now. She probably got egged on by a producer. Do you know who Elan Gale is? He’s supposed to be the spawn of Satan and is good at stirring up the drama. Maybe he put her up to it and knew it would backfire.

Andrée: Do I know who Elan Gale is? His Instagram account is only the reason I wake up every morning!

Elaine: I don’t know what I was thinking, of course you know who he is. I need to spend more time on Instagram.

Andrée: Here we go, this is what I’ve been waiting for. I have a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that Olivia is going to go home. I am definitely rooting for the twin to walk the plank. Now that I know they make the girls do their own hair on the show, I get even more mad when I see hair-destroying clips such as this one.

Elaine: What? You wouldn’t want to get dolled out for a boat ride on choppy waters?

Andrée: If I was on The Bachelor I would just carry a bottle of water with me, wear a lot of white T-shirts and just rock the wet look.

Elaine: You would be way too fascinating to get far in the competition. Sweet Baby Jesus, what on earth is Emily wearing? According to her bio: It’s important to “dress well and look classy and act classy.” I guess hot pink fringe is as classy as it gets in Vegas.

Andrée:  Ben Higgins is awkward on his best day, but he is just not at all suited for a two-on-one situation. I am trying to send vibes to Olivia to stop her from saying the wrong thing and make it one more week for my viewing pleasure.

Elaine: This is not Olivia’s best setting. If this date allowed Olivia to be her glamorous self, she would have the edge. It’s the curse of high-maintenance beauty, she’s unprepared for foul weather. Olivia and Emily are clearly freezing. Would a couple of rain slickers be too much to ask for?

Andrée: Whoa!  Now Olivia has pulled out the love word. She didn’t even say “falling in love,” she said “in love.” Ben better not send her home now.

Elaine: Olivia is just caught up in the competition. Ben is as exciting as margarine on white bread.

Andrée: Now it’s Emily’s turn. She best not spend her entire time talking about Olivia. Thank goodness, it seems like she is actually going to take a crack at getting to know Ben. They are certainly making it look like Olivia has this in the bag, but that’s making me nervous.

Elaine: Yeah, I’ve been afraid that she’d be taken from us too soon.

Andrée: OMG, he called Olivia over with the rose, Yay! I am so happy right now.

Elaine: Are you kidding me? Ben’s dumping Olivia? He prefers some Vegas girl whose occupation is listed as “Twin.”

Olivia

Andrée: What? Ben can’t reciprocate Olivia’s feelings. He listened to the other girls because right up until last week she was one of his frontrunners. It annoys me that he can be swayed so easily.

Elaine: Ben knows Olivia is out of his league. Take away the hot air balloons and Bay of Pigs and what do you have left?

Andrée: If he was really being honest about his feelings he wouldn’t be keeping Emily around either, let’s be real here.

Elaine: Emily is cannon fodder. My main concern here is that we will be left without a villainess.

Andrée: The girls are so happy that it’s Olivia, it’s funny watching them pretend not to be. Aw, I feel bad for Olivia. I really liked her. You should see her poor Instagram, Internet trolls everywhere are just merciless to her, the world is cruel. I will miss her.

Elaine: Seeing that Olivia describes herself as a book nerd makes me love her even more. Olivia Cardi, you will always be our favorite! Ben doesn’t deserve a hot bookworm.

Andrée: I love Olivia, she will make a healthy addition to Bachelor in Paradise this year.

Elaine: Nooo, I never want to see my favorites on Bachelor in Paradise. That should be the landfill for contestants like Lace and Leah.

Andrée: Funny, both times I was in the Bahamas, the weather got really stormy and crazy windy. I think I won’t be going back to the Bahamas any more. This episode is certainly not enticing me.

Elaine: The Bahamas Board of Tourism should sue The Bachelor.

Andrée: I was just thinking the same, but hey, it’s the truth! Now JoJo wants to tell Ben she’s in love too. I think it’s too early ladies, calm your horses. Every time they decide to cut the cocktail party, girls freak out because they think that they can change their fate with a five-minute conversation. These girls are heading to this rose ceremony like it’s their death march. A very colorful death march. Like bridesmaids at a funeral.

Elaine: They need to freshen up this format. The losers should be sent to the Bay of Pigs for the remainder of the competition.

Andrée: Yes, then it really would be a death march! To squeeze in the Hunger Games element we can scatter some random weapons along the Pig Beach. Caila, Amanda and Emily already have roses and the rest of the girls stand in terror. Becca gets the first rose, followed by JoJo and finally Lauren B, sending home Lauren H. Bye bye kindergarten chicken teacher. Now I am definitely calling either Lauren B or Caila for the win.

Elaine: Fare thee well, Lauren H. You’ll always have the chicken suit. She looks pissed off. Finally we get a teary limo exit. I missed those. These previews are upsetting me, there is not enough drama. I was totally deceived by the season previews. What happened to the breakdown in the staircase? I thought that was Jubilee, but I’m not sure. And we saw a girl with a black eye. Maybe it was Leah.  Will there be no major catfights and hair-pulling? Ugh.

Lauren H.

Andrée: It’s not even a limo, it’s a black SUV, but hey, black car service is better than having your exit interview on the sidewalk before they shove you into a cargo van. My advice would be: if you have a chance to wear a costume for your man, don’t go for the chicken suit. Well, I guess we get a dead giveaway that Amanda makes it to the hometowns since they showed Ben with two little kids. Looks like every single girl falls in love with Ben and Ben falls in love with two girls. Sounds familiar…a lot like every other season ever. That preview was a bit confusing, are they foreshadowing that Ben is going to dump a girl, then decide he doesn’t want to dump her and call her and propose over the phone? That is just silly. I am more excited for what clearly will be Jade and Tanner’s wedding this Sunday! I love them so much!

Girls with roses: Caila, Amanda, Emily, Becca, JoJo and Lauren B.

Buh-bye: Jennifer, Olivia, Leah and Lauren H.

I will give it to Ben that he is obviously trying really hard to give this experience his all and not be duped like so many Bachelors in the past. Hopefully now we won’t see any more of the girls wasting their time with Ben by throwing other girls under the bus, but this is The Bachelor after all, so I am sure there will be plenty of catfights coming up that they are just hiding from us. If Ben ends up sending home the girl that he will eventually propose to, that could be just enough compelling drama to keep me fully sucked in until the bitter end. I will say though, as cheesy as it is, I missed not having Bachelor Live to watch after the show—I’ve gotten used to my extra shot of Bachelor goodness. I guess I will just have to keep my pants on until the special this Sunday night! I’m already into it just to see Jade as a bride! See you then!

The Bachelor At 20: A Celebration of Love airs Sunday, Feb. 14 at 8/7c on ABC.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c.

Andrée H.

Andrée Harris is a housewife by day and reality tv junkie by night, Andree Harris has been preparing for half her life to be the ultimate Big Brother contestant. She learned how to cook from Masterchef, how to decorate from House Rules Australia, how to hurt herself badly on American Ninja Warrior and how to fall in love at first sight from The Bachelor. A quirky Canadian with an opinion on everything, and a glass of wine in her hands at all times, she can always catch you up on what's happening in real life on TV.