Power Recap: “Don’t Go”
Warning: We are here to bask in the romance of Jamie, Angela and Angie’s perfect hair. If you don’t think they belong together, please just walk away and let us cry in peace. Proceed at your own risk.
When Angela Valdes strolled into Truth, James “Ghost” St. Patrick’s nightclub, the high school sweethearts had a lot of catching up to do. Angie was assigned to an FBI drug task force hunting an upper-tier drug distributor named “Ghost.” In other words, Agent Valdes was unwittingly looking to nab her boyfriend. Angie sabotaged the FBI case so that Jamie could walk away from his criminal past and spend his days running his fingers through her magnificent chestnut tresses. Mexican cartel leader Lobos was a bother so G. had to team up with Tommy Egan, who is G.’s business partner, dragon and white soul brother to whack Lobos. Too bad Tommy’s girlfriend Holly jumped the gun and inserted herself into the situation; a pissed off Tommy ended the relationship by strangling Holly with his bare hands. He feels bad but, sorry Tommy, no backsies. Let’s go!
Team Jamela has been in a funk all week, it goes like this:
Power Writers: Hey, remember how we made you sad by breaking up Jamie and Angela?
The Audience: Yep.
Power Writers: Here is a scene of them looking beautiful together in bed and making pillow talk about the split.
The Audience: We know it’s a dream sequence, stop toying with us. Let’s get on with it.
Power Writers: Fine, you ingrates, here is a scene of Angie crying to her sister Paz.
Angie: Why, God? Why?
Paz: Jamie is a jerk.
The Audience: Shut up, Paz. Jamie did this to protect Angie. Don’t be so judge-y.
Angie: Somebody is at the door! PleaseBeJamiePleaseBeJamiePleaseBeJamie
Not Jamie: Hi, Angie. It’s me, Tim, from the FBI. You have to come to the office, bring your laptop and phone.
Angie: Okay, let me get my magnificent chestnut tresses in order. So, tell me what’s happening.
Tim: Sorry, I can’t. OMG, you are so pretty. Okay, I’ll tell you, “The Office of Professional Responsibility” is here.
Angie: That’s a weird title. It’s like having “The Office of Doing Your Job Well.”
Office of Professional Responsibility People: We have to interview everyone in the department to find out who was working with Lobos. We know there is a mole.
Agent Mike Sandoval: It wasn’t me! Nope, not me! Do I look guilty? Oh, God, I look guilty, don’t I? It’s hot in here, isn’t it? Who is Lobos? I never heard of Lobos!
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Did you do it, Agent Valdes?
The Office of Professional Responsibility: Did you do it Agent Greg Knox?
The Office of Professional Responsibility: Did you do it Agent Cooper Saxe?
Cooper: Greg and Angie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Lobos is dead.
Angie: Dagnabit. My boyfriend had nothing to to do with this! I know nothing about Jamie St. Patrick! Who? What? I only had sex with him because of plot.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: She is totes guilty, but she sure has pretty hair.
Tommy has had a long night of being a murderer. It goes like this:
Jamie: What’s the matter, Bae? Let’s turn that frown upside down. I wonder who just knocked on the door.
Tasha: Hi Cheater. Where is Holly?
Jamie: I dunno, but she certainly is not dead and buried.
Tasha: Hey Ghost, while Tommy is out of earshot, I will keep asking about Holly and mention that she’s pregnant.
The Audience: Please don’t say that too loud, Tasha.
Ghost: Take care of Tommy. Bye!
Tasha: Holly, Holly, Holly.
The Audience: Remember what we said, Tasha: ix-nay on the aby-ba talk.
Tasha: Let’s talk about Holly and the baby you didn’t know she was carrying.
Jamie goes to Angie’s apartment. It goes like this:
The Audience: Yay!
Jamie: I’m here to collect my things.
Paz: Angie’s not here, jerk. She’s at the FBI headquarters being interrogated.
Jamie: Golly, I hope they don’t bring up my name in connection with the Lobos killing. Angie would get in trouble.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Hi again, Angie. Let’s talk about Jamie St. Patrick and his connection with the Lobos killing. You are in trouble.
Angie’s Hair: I’ll handle this. Notice how pretty I am.
Office of Professional Responsibility People: Your hair is so pretty, you may go now.
Angie: I think Jamie might be guilty. I better go to his mansion in the sky and ask his wife.
Tasha: What now?
Angie: Did Jamie kill Lobos?
Tasha: No, I am going to lie to you and say my husband was too busy having amazing sex with me.
Angie: That is a lie! He would never cheat …
Tasha: Say what now?
Angie: … on me, his girlfriend.
Tasha: Girl, bye. Plot is happening upstairs at my mansion in the sky.
Jamie: Tariq, I hear you raised a hand to your mother. That is wrong. I am going to issue a stern but calm reprimand. You must apologize.
Tariq: Do I have to apologize to your “sidebitch” with the magnificent chestnut tresses? Editor’s Note: He really said “sidebitch.” We didn’t make that up. Not that we would.
Jamie: I will not issue a stern but calm reprimand. I am going to freak the f-ck out because calling Angie a bad name is worse than getting rough with your mother. I’m afraid, I’ll have to kill you now, son.
Tasha: There are new characters in the living room, Jamie.
Milan: Hi. I am a Serbian mobster. At some point, Ghost and/or Tommy killed Vladimir, who was important to my network and you stole from me. Now you must work for me. According to the plot, I may eat people. Oh, and here is Tatiana. She looks like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. She has something or other to do with the plot. We are here to remind you that we can get to your family, Ghost. Yummy, dinner smells delish.
Tasha: Okay, let’s eat. Hey, Jamie, after these two leave let’s go talk about it on our rooftop. Not only do the set designers add square footage to the mansion in the sky every week, we also have a rooftop pool. Crime does pay.
Milan: That was a lovely dinner. Toodles! I wonder how Tommy is doing? Is he drinking and crying at the spot where Holly is buried? I sure hope my goons don’t leap out of a van and attack him.
At the spot where Holly is buried it goes like this:
Goons: We have tasers. Zap! Now we are going to take you to a warehouse and take turns killing you on Mlan’s orders.
Milan: Let’s not kill him. The kid has spunk and is a broken shell of an emoji, this might work for us.
Kanan is still evil. It goes like this:
Kanan: Hi Sweet, Little Old Lady.
Sweet, Little Old Lady: Hi, thanks for helping me carry groceries!
Kanan: No problem. Now all I have to do is shove you down and smother you with a pillow, which is embossed “Jesus saves.” I like irony. This heinous crime has something to do with the plot and my beef with Ghost.
The Devil: Tip of the hat, sir.
Angie confronts Jamie. It goes like this:
Angie: I’m here to talk to you about the Office of Professional Responsibility People. Did you use me to get to Lobos?
Jamie: I’m going to push you onto the bed.
The Audience: Yay!
Jamie: But not in a hot way, in a “Are you wearing a wire?” way.
Angie: Of course not, you idiot. Who helped you? Who told you about Lobos being transferred?
Jamie: I don’t know anything about this.
Angie: You never loved me. Bye.
Ghost: Don’t go!
The Audience: Don’t go!
Angie’s Har: Whatever, I look beautiful when Angie’s angry!
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