In the wake of our shocking expose on the House of Crawley, comes another bombshell. Denizens of Downton Abbey are living in fear, stalked and terrified by a shadowy organization calling itself Change & Progress. Insiders say that most of the family has been hiding from the menace for more than a decade but Time, the frontman for Change & Progress says the revolutionary outfit will not be stopped.

Progress Report: An unnamed source reports, “Lord Grantham has done everything in his power to ward off Change & Progress. He even filed a restraining order, but C&P just laughed and ignored it. Time sent him a matchbox containing the world’s smallest violin, and though he’s turned the place upside down he can’t find it.” Fortunately, Lord Grantham has allies. His mother, the Dowager Countess, is no shrinking violet. A friend notes, “Change showed up at the Dowager’s house without an invitation once and she used her cane to open up a can of whupass. Change couldn’t move its jaw for weeks.”

Downton employees have also been threatened by Progress. Butler Carson and Mrs. Patmore, the cook, have vowed to hunt down and kill any sign of Progress. Witnesses say it’s been a bloody battle. A staffer says, “Mrs. Patmore confronted an electric whisk awhile back and she still wakes up screaming.”

Toxic Times: For the Crawley sisters, Time is the enemy. Whenever they try to move ahead, some douchey year turns up to say, “Ha-ha! It’s too early for you to do that.” Even imperious Lady Mary has been bullied by the hands of time. The Edwardian period was a total mean girl. A source close to the family reveals, “Mary had a booty call with Mr. Pamuk, a visiting Turkish hottie. Unfortunately, he died in her bed. Before Mary could even grapple with the fact that she has a poisonous vagina, 1913 turned into Regina George and texted the story about the Turk to everyone.” These days Mary is trying to stand up to for herself.  A Crawley pal reveals. “Lord Gillingham just asked her to hook up and she hasn’t exactly said no.”

I’ll Be Watching You: Now Lady Edith is being followed around by crazed Stan, 1924. It’s rumored that her affair with missing publisher Michael Gregson produced a baby. According to the whispers, “Lady Edith desperately wants a relationship with her daughter, Marigold, but 1924 forced Poor Edith to give the child to a nearby tenant farmer.” The source adds, “Marigold? What the hell kind of name is that? It’s gonna be another 60 years before some silly rock stars start naming kids Pixie Blue or whatever.” TMZ caught a liquored-up Edith rambling, “1924 pisses me off so much, I just look at my life and say, ‘Let it Burn.’I mean, I wouldn’t deliberately start a fire, but accidents happen…”

A Thorn in the Side: Some blame Lady Rose Aldridge for flirting with Change. A family source spilled to us, “Frankly nobody really wanted Rose, it felt like she was trying to replace the late Lady Sybil. Sure, Sybil was political and wore pantaloons and married the chauffeur, but it was kind of cool when she introduced us to Change. Rose just pushed her way into the family like Cousin Oliver and it feels forced. It’s almost like she’s an obvious plot device.”

When reached for a comment, Time of Change & Progress responded: “Look, these people keep sending us all kinds of mixed messages. Make a friggin’ decision!”

Woo hoo! The nominees for the 46th NAACP Image Awards were announced today and some of our favorite stars and shows made the cut. Among those nominated:

Outstanding Drama Series

“How to Get Away with Murder”

“Scandal”

Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series

Kerry Washington (Olivia Pope) “Scandal”

Viola Davis (Annalise Keating) “How to Get Away with Murder”

Nicole Beharie (Abbie Mils) “Sleepy Hollow”

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Alfred Enoch (Wes Giibbins) “How to Get Away with Murder”

Guillermo Díaz  (Huck) “Scandal”

Joe Morton (Rowan Pope) “Scandal”

Outstanding Supporting Actress

Aja Naomi King (Michaela Pratt) “How to Get Away with Murder”

Khandi Alexander (Maya Lewis) “Scandal”

Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series

Erika Green Swafford — “How to Get Away with Murder” — Let’s Get to Scooping

Zahir McGhee — “Scandal” — Mama Said Knock You Out

We expected Kerry Washington and Viola Davis to top the nominations, of course, but it’s great to see Nicole Beharie on the list. “Sleepy Hollow’s” sophomore season has gotten a lot of knocks but Beharie’s chemistry with leading man Tim Mison is a delight. We’re so glad that the writers gave Beharie a chance to demonstrate her ability to carry the an episode with”Mama” too. Not to be greedy, but we wish that “Sleepy Hollow’s” Lyndie Greenwood (Jenny Mills) and Orlando Jones (Frank Irving) were on the list of supporting stars. Perhaps they would have been if their characters weren’t sidelined in favor of Henry and Katrina in the first part of this season.

In terms of supporting actor, we’ll be shocked if Joe Morton doesn’t walk away with the prize. He deserves it. Though we’ve poked a lot of fun at HTGAWM’s Wes and Michaela, we’re giving a round of applause to Enoch and King for getting a shot at the award.

The winners will be announced live during a two-hour event, broadcast on TV ONE on Friday, Feb. 6, 2015. The Red Carpet (Elaine F.’s favorite part) kicks off at 8/7c The ceremony takes place at 9/8c. For the full list of nominees and information on how to get tickets, go here.

Theme

We have to get you caught up on last week: Abbie and Jenny met the spirit of their mother, Lori, who directed them to Grace Dixon’s journal for info on how to take down Moloch. Captain Irving escaped from Tarrytown Psych and there’s some foolishness going on with Katrina, Henry and Baby Moloch. Blah, blah, blah.

Quotable Ichabbie:

Abbie and Ichabod are playing a guessing game.

Pain in the Glass: We’re back to that mirror business again. Katrina pops up in the magic mirror which sadly is not as interesting as the one on “Romper Room.” She tells Abbie and Ichabod that pesky Moloch still lives and is about to turn out the lights on this big blue ball we call home. Katrina runs out of battery power, er, Henry’s coming.

Dear Diary: Mills and Crane decipher the code in Grace’s journal. The weapon they need is Enoch’s sword, an Old Testament badass. Turns out that mirror Katrina used is a touchscreen, Henry puts his hands on it and eavesdrops on Ichabbie. He dispatches the Headless Hessian to get the thing. Much scenery is chewed and the Horseman departs. The Horseman and Ichabbie both get to the sword’s location, but the sun’s coming up and Headless forgot that he burns easily.

In Other News: Jenny tries to get Captain Irving across the Canadian border where he can enjoy hockey and Tim Hortons doughnuts, he decides not to flee…. Henry has a new toy and it’s even better than the iPhone 6. Is it a Samsung Galaxy? Nope, it’s a shofar, a horn used as a battle signal.

Stone Cold: To find the weapon, Mills and Crane enter a cavern decorated with what looks like statues. A Gorgon guarding the sword turns anyone who meets its gaze to stone. One of victims is a descendant of Grace. Abbie sees a pattern: Women in her family are screwed. Ichabod comforts his “Leftenant,” it boils down to: “Hey, the odds are in your favor.” Abbie’s back on board and figures out that that someone without eyes would come in handy against the Gorgon. When Headless shows up, the Gorgon is distracted so Abbie looks for the sword. No luck there.

After Headless slays the creature, Ichabod can see that trick the Horseman does when he appears in the form of Abraham. Ichabod remembers fencing with his former pal and then dueling him over Katrina. It’s a round of “She doesn’t love you, she loves me.” “Does not!” “Does too!” Abraham hears Henry’s horn and heads out. (You know you clamor for puns like that.) Now it’s Ichabod’s turn to doubt his mission. Headless has his woman and Moloch is ready to bring down the house. Abbie returns the favor from earlier this episode and tells him why he should stick with the mission. There’s water in a large well looking thing in the center of the room. Well, actually it’s oil and because the price has dropped so much recently they just decide to set fire to it and and heat the room for cheap. Actually, the Witnesses figure they can burn off the oil to get to the sword. Ichabod reaches in all King Arthur like and pulls out the sword. He proclaims that Moloch shall not rise.

Cliffhanger: Oh snap! Moloch has risen. We thought you were going to spend more time on that Baby Moloch story, but okay, Show.

Case of Week: Yay, none of that tedium tonight. We spend so much time ignoring it.

Past Presumed Murder: Nope. The show is living in the now. We welcome our merged timeline overlords.

Present Day Not Quite Murder. Maybe Manslaugthter: Annalise orders Sam out and threatens to call 911. Oh, Sam if you left then, you wouldn’t have needed emergency services later. Annalise thinks this is a good time to mention her desk shenanigans with Mr. Sexy Cop in a blaze of details.  Annalise is getting close to “Cell Block Tango” territory because she knows Sam will not appreciate this.

Oh, looky, Sam finds the best way to prove he didn’t strangle Lila; he has his hands around his wife’s neck because Sam is all about poor life decisions. She challenges him to kill her, and he does … with words. Sam has some vile things to say about what he thinks of Annalise. It’s like “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” except Burton and Taylor were so much nicer than these two (Elaine likes Ye Olde Time-y references). Annalise storms out, Sam is an idiot so he hangs around because he doesn’t realize this show is not called “How to Get Away with Pissing Off Annalise.”

Wes persuades a dubious Connor and Laurel to race to the Keating house because he thinks Rebecca is there. He insists that Sam will kill Rebecca to cover up his supposed murder of Lila. Michaela is already at the house to turn in the pilfered Scales of Justice trophy to Annalise. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. Michaela has bad timing because that’s when Rebecca sneaks in and Sam goes after her. Not bright enough to leave, Michaela hangs around screaming on the phone to Wes because Plaid Shirt and Bicycle is so tough. The Scooby Gang shows up. Wes ASKS Sam if they can leave. Five against one and this goof is asking permission. Guess he thinks this will get him extra credit. There is a struggle and Sam falls to his death. Michaela was the one who pushed him. Never saw that coming. Wait, he’s was still alive — until the Plaid Wonder (at least we think it was him — these scenes were kind of night-vision for us) hits him with the trophy. Okay, now Sam’s dead. For real. We know what happens next because we remember all the scenes from every episode.

Prim blouses aside, Bonnie gets freaky. She picks up a guy in a bar then double dips by taking Asher to bed. Two guys in one night. Welp, it’s always the quiet ones. Guess the first guy was lousy. Afterward, Asher gripes when he sees selfies of his “friends” at the bonfire without him. Guess Bonnie was lousy. Annalise, of course, is straddling Mr. Sexy Cop. She later calls Sam, begging him to come home. Why? She phones Bonnie to ask if Sam’s with her. Why?

Oh, now we know why. We see a flashback to the night of Sam’s death. Wes returns to the house. Annalise is there. She thanks him for killing Sam. Sadly, its seasonal finale time until January.  Though we’re now entering real time, there’s still plenty of questions to keep viewers trying to figure out just how Annalise and the Scooby Gang Get Away With… Manslaughter. This could keep a recapper up nights between now and the show’s return. That is cruel, but okay, Show, I’m enjoying the ride.

PS We still don’t trust Bonnie.