Events on The Royals take place not long after the end of the season 2 finale left off. A lot ended in that episode, so there are new beginnings all around.
After Liam and Ophelia leave for their new life together, Gemma slinks up to Marcus and notes that Ophelia was the girl of Marcus’s dreams. Wait, what? Did we miss something? When was that established? In any case, according to Gemma, Ophelia’s hopes of dancing for a ballet company in NY won’t be coming true. Gemma is in the art world mafia, she knows things. She also seems to believe that Marcus will have a shot once Liam inevitably tires of Ophelia. I don’t doubt this will happen.I tired of Ophelia in the first episode. But it’s not like Liam would ditch her on a six-hour flight….
The royal formerly known as Prince Liam handles things better. He goes to a tavern and drunkenly performs some song about how he’ll “never be king.” He’s off-key. I wish he’d gone with a song I recognize. “We’ll never be royals,” would have worked well. Liam is drinking and singing on his own. Once you stop being the prince, you immediately lose your security detail. You don’t lose Coffee Girl, though.
You know what’s a really poor life choice for a king? Making a televised statement urging Parliament to abolish the monarchy and put Queen Liz Hurley and the royal children out of work. Threatening that your scheming brother Cyrus will also lose his rank just adds fuel to the fire. That’s the kind of behavior that makes King Liz Hurley a target; he was stabbed and collapsed at the palace gates, so the royal family is rushed to the panic room.
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At the villa in Monaco, Eleanor’s first order of business is to taunt Jasper, who is back at the palace. Now that he’s admitted to lying about the sex video, she hops on Liam’s goofball friend, Ashok, to send Jasper a mock sex tape. There’s only one thing that rattles the Princess and that’s the sight of sexy Beck. He’s a friend of the late Prince Robert and is the first guy Eleanor had sex with. She didn’t know Liam invited. Eleanor tries to play it cool but is really freaking out because she’s so into him.
As if Queen Liz Hurley couldn’t be more awesome, we find out that she employs a body-double so she can sneak off with her lover without the press catching her in the act. She’s a sly one. Can you imagine how fabulous it would be to serve as a Queen Liz Hurley double? Getting duplicates of all of her slinky dresses would be payment enough.
The late Prince Robert, the rightful heir was terrific at charming villages. The spare, Prince Liam does everything wrong. He turns his nose up at the locally made cheese and is an all-around bore. Gemma takes time out of trying to induct him into the mile-high club and offers advice: Liam should be himself and act interested. I’m not sure he wasn’t being himself when he behaved like a jerk, but he takes Gemma’s words to heart.