Category Archives: The Royals

Princess Eleanor and Jasper on The Royals on E!

The Royals: “Our Wills and Fates Do So Contrary Run” — May 17, 2015

After Liam and Ophelia leave for their new life together, Gemma slinks up to Marcus and notes that Ophelia was the girl of Marcus’s dreams. Wait, what? Did we miss something? When was that established? In any case, according to Gemma, Ophelia’s hopes of dancing for a ballet company in NY won’t be coming true. Gemma is in the art world mafia, she knows things. She also seems to believe that Marcus will have a shot once Liam inevitably tires of Ophelia. I don’t doubt this will happen.I tired of Ophelia in the first episode. But it’s not like Liam would ditch her on a six-hour flight….

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The King and The Prince on The Royals

The Royals: “In My Heart There Was a Kind of Fighting” — May 10, 2015

The royal formerly known as Prince Liam handles things better. He goes to a tavern and drunkenly performs some song about how he’ll “never be king.” He’s off-key. I wish he’d gone with a song I recognize. “We’ll never be royals,” would have worked well. Liam is drinking and singing on his own. Once you stop being the prince, you immediately lose your security detail. You don’t lose Coffee Girl, though.

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Liam and Eleanor visit the King on The Royals

The Royals: “The Great Man Down” — May 3, 2015

You know what’s a really poor life choice for a king? Making a televised statement urging Parliament to abolish the monarchy and put Queen Liz Hurley and the royal children out of work. Threatening that your scheming brother Cyrus will also lose his rank just adds fuel to the fire. That’s the kind of behavior that makes King Liz Hurley a target; he was stabbed and collapsed at the palace gates, so the royal family is rushed to the panic room.

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Joan Collins on The Royals

The Royals: “Your Sovereignty of Reason” — April 26, 2015

Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!Duchess Joan Collins is everything!

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The Royals: “The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune” — April 19, 2015

The Royals: “The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune” — April 19, 2015

At the villa in Monaco, Eleanor’s first order of business is to taunt Jasper, who is back at the palace. Now that he’s admitted to lying about the sex video, she hops on Liam’s goofball friend, Ashok, to send Jasper a mock sex tape. There’s only one thing that rattles the Princess and that’s the sight of sexy Beck. He’s a friend of the late Prince Robert and is the first guy Eleanor had sex with. She didn’t know Liam invited. Eleanor tries to play it cool but is really freaking out because she’s so into him.

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Eleanor and Jasper visit the elderly on The Royals

The Royals: “Sweet, Not Lasting: — April 5, 2015

The late Prince Robert, the rightful heir was terrific at charming villages. The spare, Prince Liam does everything wrong. He turns his nose up at the locally made cheese and is an all-around bore. Gemma takes time out of trying to induct him into the mile-high club and offers advice: Liam should be himself and act interested. I’m not sure he wasn’t being himself when he behaved like a jerk, but he takes Gemma’s words to heart.

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