Excitement! The Bachelorette premieres tonight at 9 ET on ABC and Rachel Lindsay is the one doling out the roses. To fully enjoy the show, you need a primer by going back to all of The Bachelor recaps from Nick’s season. Spoiler: There were only two women worth watching on the season: classy Rachel and sassy Corinne. Total opposites, but loveable in their own way. (Yeah, yeah, you hated Corinne. But we don’t so there!) In any case, they both lucked out. Rachel is now franchise royalty and will inevitably reach the most important Bachelor Nation goal, a slot on Dancing With The Stars. Corinne will go on to be the new Bachelor in Paradise bad girl because the crying “virgin” girl and that other one who is clearly a functioning alcoholic (It would be mean to name her ) are over the hill. So take a stroll down memory lane with Andrėe H.’s recaps and then tune in.
Get off my TV, Andi. You already ruined two other seasons for me. This is the worst possible way to start an episode. Nick shouldn’t be talking about his regrets when she wrote a book talking about how he was terrible in the sack.
Okay, I am glad I woke up this one-on-one girl is talking about being an orphan from Russia and avoiding prostitution and my my, quite the backstory. He’s definitely stuck with her now for a bit, or he’ll look like a giant dick. There’s a joke to be made here about how being on The Bachelor is basically prostituting yourself, but I won’t be inappropriate and make it.