Abby McCarthy gets to hang out with Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards, which comes with perks. She probably gets discounts on caftans and pricey sunglasses at Kyle’s boutique and is invited to Kyle’s annual White Party.
Ryan is jelly because Alex is doing something secretive with Liam. Ryan came down with amnesia since the last episode; he forgot that his romance with Alex went sideways because he was doing something secretive with Liam. The bottom line is: Do not do anything secretive with Liam.
Hakeem Lyon is smart. Whaaat? Hakeem is officially the most sensible Lyon right now. I can’t believe I wrote those words, but it’s true.
Jenny Mills is a smart, brave artifact hunter, but unfortunately, she fooled around with this shard and now appears to be under the control of Pandora, a fashionable but totally crazy pants sorceress. FBI Agent Abbie Mills will not stand for this and is going to find her sister. Ichabod Crane goes wherever Abbie goes—most of the time—so it’s Team Witness to the rescue.
Jenny is in trouble. Jenny BAMF Mills is in trouble. She’s lying on a bank while Pandora is in the water tending to “The Hidden Man.” The Hidden Man is already grousing to Pandora about water quality. He just woke up. Wait until he hears about fracking.
Aside from unfortunate twerking or whatever she was supposed to do to appeal to investor Mimi Whiteman and some off-screen sapphic action—which Mimi says was subpar—Miss Kitty got nothing to do. She finally has a story and was up to her old antics last night.
Quantico is the glorious soap about models training at the FBI Academy. In flashbacks, they flirt, fight and have sex to keep America safe. In the present, star pupil Alex Parrish is a suspected terrorist, and the subject of a manhunt. Ryan Booth, her former lover and fellow agent is helping her unravel the mystery. Someone tied to Quantico is behind it. Is one of her former classmates the guilty party guilty? Let’s go!
Joe and Jenny kickbox. Zach Appelman’s muscles should demand an on-set trailer. Lyndie Greenwood’s midriff hurts my feelings. Kickboxing is the new foreplay, apparently. Jenny goes into Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots mode, glows red, and her eyes glaze white. Uh-oh!
