Catch up on Outlander: “Rent” — Sept. 6, 2014

Just because Dougal MacKenzie threatens to slit your throat or assault you doesn’t mean he’s no fun at all. The Scottish rebel leader has invited Claire Randall on a road trip to collect rent for the laird because the travel party might need a healer. The only trip Claire wants to make is one on the Tardis so she’ll get out of 1743 and return to her husband Frank who is all by his lonesome in 1945. Dreamy Jaime Fraser is on the trip too, but he doesn’t have as much time to unresolved sexual tension all over the place when he’s with his bros. It’s all “me too” instead of saying “I love you” when they’re on the phone.

Claire was so eager to escape imprisonment at Castle Leoch, but the castle is much more comfortable than being on the road with a group of filthy vulgarians who hurt your feelings by only speaking Gaelic. Fortunately, Ned Gowan, the clan’s lawyer is around, he bathes regularly, speaks to Claire in English and doesn’t act like a douche. At one stop, Claire finally finds women to talk to, since their domestic tasks involve the use of warm urine, I will ignore them. Claire gets bossy about the rent collection protocol and argues with Dougal. A young man comes to her defense, he’s bathed, polite, British and doesn’t do anything with warm urine. Jamie, by the way, is just standing around which loses him some points with me. After the MacKenzie clan shuts the interloper down, he leaves to put on his redcoat uniform.

That night Dougal raises extra funds from the villagers by shouting in Gaelic and ripping off Jamie’s shirt to expose his nephew’s scarred back, the result of two floggings by the sadistic British officer Black Jack Randall. Jamie is left to mend his own shirt. Poor tormented Jamie gets one point back. An outraged Claire accuses Dougal of making off-the-books money at Jamie’s expense. At another stop we’re reminded that there’s a bounty on Jamie’s head, maybe that’s why he kept quiet earlier. Jamie does come to Claire’s defense when Angus Mhor, one of Dougal’s men is so offended by Claire’s refusal to eat with them that he calls her “an English whore.” Jamie advises Claire not to judge things she doesn’t understand and stay out of it. I’m not saying this because Jamie’s in the doghouse, but his hair is crazy, right? Doesn’t it change from scene to scene? In any case, there’s more of Dougal’s performance art and though he’s yelling in Gaelic, Claire remembers a bit of history and realizes that Dougal is using Jamie’s wounds to help raise funds for a Jacobite army in order to fight the Brits. This memory provides the weekly Frank flashback so we remember that Claire’s married. Regardless of Dougal’s intentions, Jamie lets his uncle know that he’s tired of being treated like a carnival freak and goes off to punch a tree. Oh, Jamie. Later he and Claire sit at the fire to unresolved sexual tension each other.

At the next stop, Dougal raises funds without using Jamie’s pain to make his point. That night, Claire hears a noise outside her room and grabs a weapon. It’s Jamie, he’s been sleeping outside her door in the cold because there are a lot of drunks down at the tavern and he wants to spare us from another attempted rape scene. We had one last week, so Outlander gave rape the night off. Jamie and his crazy hair get all of their points back. In the morning, Claire tries to find a way to tell Ned that the rebellion is doomed and most of them will be dead in three years. The year 1743 tells her to mind her own business.

During breakfast in the tavern, some locals leer at Claire and say rude things in Gaelic, a brawl erupts. Claire is left to tend to all of her traveling companions’ wounds and complain. It turns out that locals called Claire a whore. Only the MacKenzie clan are allowed to hurl abuse at her. Aww points all around! The next day the guys speak English and Claire gets to make dirty jokes with the rest of them and it’s all lollipops and unicorns. Dougal, however, has gone on record to say how much he despises lollipops and unicorns. He once slit the throat of a unicorn just for shits and giggles.

When Claire goes to a stream to bathe, Dougal creepily follows her and demands to know why she’s planting doubts about the rebellion. Before she can say much, the young man who came to her defense before shows up and introduces himself as Lieutenant Jeremy Foster. He’s brought along some redcoats.

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