36 Thoughts on Sleepy Hollow: “Incident at Stone Manor”

Did you get all kinds of hormones and feelings watching this episode? Here are my pre-recap stream-of-consciousness musings.

1. Last week focused on Ichabod’s feelings for MIA Abbie, it was touching. But now we need to really see Abbie and here she is! Oh, dear, this is a desolate wasteland. It’s like Game of Thrones. Maybe. I stopped watching. Waaaay too rapey. Outlander is rapey, too, but less so than GOT.
2. Abbie “BAMF” Mills is just walking around all by herself, totally unruffled. Meanwhile, without Abbie by his side, Ichabod took his weirdo ways to DEFCON 1 last week.
3. DEFCON 1 is the most serious level. People always think DEFCON 10 is the most serious level. First of all, there is no DEFCON 10. There are only five levels and DEFCON 5 is the least worrisome level. The higher the level, the less alarming the threat. Perhaps you’ll find this helpful.
4. Different time zone obviously. Abbie’s been gone for over a month in Sleepy Hollow time, but seemingly just woke up in this world.
5. Abbie is so beautiful. It’s clear that Abbie has been wherever she is for a while now. One or two days max without coconut oil and shea butter and my look goes south. Abbie gets by just fine without the Japanese flat iron, does she not?
6. Wonder what she’s eating. Not a lot of vegetation wherever she is.
7. Back in Swirltown, USA, Pandora and her chocolate evil god husband are getting along. He’s not as cranky as he was when he was resurrected. He’s being nice to her now as they plot total world-domination.
8. Ezra Mills! Finally we meet Abbie and Jenny’s dad. He seems pleasant.
9. Crane is doing an astral projection thing to find Abbie. So romantic.
10. Thoughts on Sophie? She’s smart and knows how to take care of business. So long as Miss Lady doesn’t supplant Abbie, we’re cool.
11. Now Abbie is acting crazy, but she is all alone; Crane was acting crazy when he was sitting around shooting the breeze with Sophie and eating frozen lasagna, so she is still the one with the most emotional fortitude. Bottom line: These two need each other.
12. Awww, they finally see each other! Look at Abbie’s face. So happy but a little cray-cray.
13. Damnit, astral projection means no hugs. Guess that rules out kisses and carnal knowledge.
14. Ten months! I misjudged the time difference, huh? Good thing it’s not vice versa though. If that were the case, she would return to find her loved ones had moved on and that would be awful.
15. Pandora refers to Ichabod as Abbie’s “other half.” You know that’s right.
16. Back to Abbie. She made an hourglass with some sand. That’s very The Martian. Crane is all, “You eating okay, Boo?” Food, sleep and hydration are not necessary on this planet. That’s too bad about the sleep. Being awake all day in this situation would be awful. More time to be sad with no relief.
17. Seriously, though, that hair. Love it. Big, big fan of natural hair. When she gets back, Abbie should consider keeping this style.
18. Without Ichabod to narrate, Betsy Ross’ flashback lasted for like 30 seconds. Hee!
19. Oh, so Pandora can also do astral projections and she’s interrupting Ichabbie’s alone time to get that mystical thingamajig. Damnit, Pandora! She can’t hurt Abbie directly but she can hurt Ichabod and that hurts Abbie. Now what? Pandora just made him this invisible silent ghost?
20. Maybe Abbie should just hand over the Eye of Providence now. Okay, good. She’s doing it.
21. Wait, she’s crushing it. Damnit, Abbie! Must you always be so self-sacrificing?
22. These catacombs are even worse than Purgatory and 1781. At least in Purgatory, Andy Brooks was trying to watch her back. And in 1781, Grace Dixon was there and Ben Franklin was crushing on her.
23. Great, Abbie. Now how long will you be by yourself? Isolation is no good. She might be nutty as a fruitcake by the time she gets back. Oooh, Betsy Ross’ weapon is there, that means she might be useful. That sounded harsh. I meant to say it makes Betsy germane to the storyline. Hilariously, no flashback. She’s just getting name-checked now.
24. Abbie’s back! She figured it out. Uh-oh, Ichabod’s body is here but Pandora did that thing and his spirit is gone. This is no good at all. Oh, everything is fine now. Thank you, sweet Baby Jesus because nobody can handle this separation. Okay, physical contact. Kissing time. Joe kisses Abbie’s cheek, we are on the right track.
25. Do it! Hands, hands. Touching. Ichabod got all fresh and touched her wrist, which is practically baby-making with him.
26. Wait, he has something to say. Three words. Three. Please. JUST. SAY. IT. DON’T MAKE ME UPPERCASE!
27. Oh, I see how it is. We’re going to resume pretending we are just a couple of buddies here. Whatever, go home and make love to Abbie’s elbow, freak.
28. Sigh.
29. And now The Hidden One is hangry. Shut up. Nobody cares. A thousand years without food or power or whatever it is you are whining about does not compare to Team Ichabbie waiting for a motherf… Whew, language, language.
30. A kiss. Just a teensy one. Last week Ichabod was acting like Pervy McPerverston of Pervakistan with Abbie’s lingerie and doing who knows what with that mirror.
31. And Ichabod is to blame here because he could just scoot down. Abbie is too tiny to kiss him without a boost. How the hell is she supposed to reach his lips? No shade, I’m as short as Nicole Beharie.
32. The tall person initiates the kiss.
33. It’s science.
34. I don’t really care because I’m mad about the lack of lip action, but what the hell is THO doing. Doesn’t it look like he is spinning a pizza? A mystical pizza?
35. Mystic Pizza?
36. The Kindred is back next week? Yay!!! Maybe he’ll bring a kissing potion.

Please come back for the full recap. We really love witty Sleepy Head comments. They don’t appear right away but we will get to them.

Sleepy Hollow airs Fridays at 8/7c on Fox.