Sleepy Hollow: “This Red Lady From Caribee” — Nov. 5, 2015
Photo courtesy of Fox
Hey, Sleepyheads! Mr. and Mrs. TV Recaps went to a family wedding and the entire extended family descended and you know how it is. In any case, I apologize for taking so long to post this. To make it up to you, we’re all going to Benihana, Abbie’s treating. This was a solid episode as long as you dismiss a few minutes involving an extra, who is shipping herself with Crane. We got a brief glimpse at Abbie and Daniel’s past relationship, there are huge developments on the Jenny & Joe Show and Pandora is just warming up. Let’s go!
First Appearances: Atticus Nevins (Bill Irwin) and George Washington (Mark Campbell) Azzaca (Rotimi Paul)
In the last episode, Ichabod asked to “escort” Crextra to dinner. That had better not mean he paid for it. Has it been explained how he afforded airfare to Scotland? Did he sell that stupid necklace? Did he win some money in a scratch-off? If he is springing for Benihana, then we need to see him reach into his pocket when he’s with Abbie or there will be hashtags.
The Faint Praise Fairy shows up to say it’s less interminable than the date with Katrina because it’s just a couple of minutes. There are folks that find Crextra and Poor Betsy more annoying than the first Mrs. Crane but I can’t go that route. Zoe (there, I said her name) and Betsy would have to take a wrecking ball to a building full of orphans and puppies before I will soften my stance on the hoarse whisperer. Besides, Crextra will be shivved with a hibachi blade soon, and Miss Betsy is usually on for less than five minutes, as long as she and her decolletage don’t get any ideas about more screentime or time-travel, we’re cool.
Chez Crazy Pants, my girl Pandora is up to her usual monkeyshines. This week she summons a red wasp lady. Not one of those Upper East Side gin-swilling botoxed dames, an actual mystical wasp lady. As far as the monster of the week goes, she’s meh and doesn’t hold a candle to Nelson, but gets the job done. (The Flash had superior bees, though.)
The judge presiding over Crane’s smuggling case shows up in court after he’s been stung The judge is mad with paranoia and goes off on a rant before collapsing. Blah, blah, blah, wasp exposition. Abbie finds a reference in Grace Dixon’s journal! Yaaaaaaaay! It goes like this:
Betsy: Hi. Thank God you’re here.
Grace: What can I do for you?
Betsy: Make the audience enjoy flashback scenes for the first time this season. Also, this new actor playing General Washington and the rest of the camp are all screwed up because of the wasps so I…
Grace: Girl, please, I am cutting you off in mid-sentence. Here are some Trinidadian herbs to buy Washington more time. Go kill some wasps. Oh, and if you see Timothy Busfield, tell him that a return as Benjamin Franklin would be appreciated.
Is it just projection or did Grace give Miss Betsy side-eye? Maybe she heard Betsy is a floozy. Agent Reynolds summons Abbie to a scene. The creature has claimed the life of a PTA leader. A judge, a general and a PTA lady: this Red Lady takes a dim view of authority figures. Too bad she’s soft on weirdo extras. Daniel catches Agent Mills on the phone with Crane, it goes like this:
Danny: You better not be talking to the damn sexy hobo when you have a job to do, get your head in the game.
The Audience: You don’t get to talk to Abbie like that.
Danny: I do when I’ve been stung by the Red Lady. Besides, do you want her talking to Mr. Hibachi right now?
The Audience: Hmmm. We’ll get back to you on that.
On the ride, Agent Reynolds drives like a maniac and gets very aggressive with Abbie. He accuses her of trying to undermine his career aspirations and is in a snit because he doesn’t understand why Jenny and Joe are involved with Atticus Nevins. Agent Reynolds is extremely focused on the next rung of the ladder; he thinks Nevins is merely a criminal importer, he doesn’t know about the whole paranormal element—or so he says. Abbie notices an unsightly mark, Danny has been stung by the Red Lady. He hauls Abbie out of the vehicle, snatches her phone and tosses it. It goes like this:
The Audience: Aw, hell, no!
Tiny Agent Doe Eyes takes him down hard and gets him to the Masonic holding cell. Crane has figured out the ingredients for Grace’s tonic so Jenny and Joe head to a botanica, where the Azzaca thinks they are a couple and hilariously offers Joe Irish moss for those “long, long nights.” Welp, looks like we’ve got a beta ship now. When Jenny pays the man, their hands touch, he goes into a trance and warns her that her fate has changed. What does that mean? Do you think she’s a Witness? It has been speculated. Azzaca tells Joe to protect her. Even badasses need to be taken care of sometimes, so it’s good to see a Mills sister having someone to look after her for a change… #PassiveAggressive
Back at the Masonic cell, Daniel calms down enough to confess his feelings for Abbie. It goes like this:
Daniel: You don’t know what kind of effect you have on men. Remember our time in that shack in the Outer Banks?
Abbie: Oooh, did I go to North Carolina with you? Cool. Everyone wants to see me get a kiss. Roll that flashback.
Daniel: I would, but we need another minute of Crextra.
Abbie: FML.
To wrap up this Red Lady business, the Witnesses know they need to find Pandora’s lair to burn the hive. Little Abbie Oakley didn’t try to shoot it! Pandy is decked out in a Greco-Roman goddess dress, and it turns out her tree is the spot to get accessories because she plucks off some fetching dangly earrings. When Crane arrives for a confrontation and aims his crossbow at her, she offers a little shade (“I know what it feels like, to be in the presence of someone much greater than myself.”) Pandora disappears into her tree and doesn’t even acknowledge Abbie. Rude.
Agent Mills visits Daniel in the hospital and pretends that he had an allergic reaction to a sting. (I guess the hospital just went along with it and gave him some Benadryl.) Daniel hopes that he didn’t say anything embarrassing. Ichabod goes off on a walk with Crextra; he brings her flowers because he found some change between the cushions on Abbie’s sofa. Crextra also has a bouquet for Ichabod. Oddly enough, he doesn’t comment on this new-fangled courting technique. Whatevs.
Quotable Ichabbie:
Ichabod: I cannot recall which great, great Colonial thinker coined the phrase “‘Twas a tiny patch of paradise.” Oh, no, wait, it was me.
Abbie: A wise woman once said, “Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Oh, wait. That was every woman.
Okay, here is where things get good. Joe meets Nevins for a parlay. It goes like this:
Joe: Hi.
Nevins: Hi. Your beloved father Sheriff Corbin was shady and we had a Swiss bank account. Now that I’ve ruined your day, hand over the Shard of Anubis. Notice that when I open it there is a red object inside and I am putting on gloves before handling it. Let’s go, so I can kill you or whatever. Don’t forget about the gloves.
Jenny: Hi. I’m here as a one-woman ambush to make sure you don’t do anything to Joe. We have a “long, long night” ahead.
Joe: The shard is in his pocket, just reach right in and grab it with your hand. Nothing bad will happen.
Jenny: Oh, look, this red thing just disappeared while I was holding it. Oh, well. No need to have an extended reaction shot or dialogue about this.
Cliffhanger: As Jenny sleeps, her body has a red glow and she wakes up in a cold sweat. Also, Pandora’s tree may be a stairway to the underwolrd. No bueno.
I don’t want them to kill Zoe. She hasn’t earned a character death. I just want Crane to dump her and let her fade into obscurity, like a 90s boy band.
Hi, Mauve! You just made me choke on coffee. Brill!