Last week’s StarTalk was interstellar, this week’s was interpersonal. Neil deGrasse Tyson, comic Chuck Nice and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher riffed on this week’s taped segments with sex and advice columnist Dan Savage and got deep into how and why humans meet and mate.

The episode wasn’t the most scientifically interesting, but it showed where the show is headed. Tyson is a little more settled in his approach, less jumpy, more ready to listen to his guests before jumping in. Now, that might have something to with the subject matter. Something tells me that while the good doctor can easily navigate the stars, he, like most of us guys, is just wandering through the world of love and lust trying not to break anything in the room.

Here are some highlights from Monday’s show:

One-night stands are a part of our wiring: Fisher explains that 30% of long term relationships were the result of one night stands and 60% of Americans have had a one-night stand. In Tyson’s taped segment with Savage, the guest explains that people meet in a variety of non-romantic comedy ways, including rehab or even “the drunken three-way where someone fell in love with the ‘guest.’ ”  These are not the stories that get told to friends and family.

A good story can get in the way of love:  Tyson points out that by whitewashing these stories we wind up ostracizing those who don’t meet that way. Even worse, according to Savage, the shame attached to these meetings makes people devalue those they slept with. “They think no decent relationship can have a sleazy start,” Savage says. Sheesh. Isn’t love hard enough without needing a good story?

Biology turns lust to love: Fisher explains research has shown that stimulation of genitals drives up the dopamine system and can “push you over the threshold into falling in love.” Sex is a drug, Nice says. Fisher adds that romantic love is an even bigger drug.

Love at first sight is all right: Fisher comes back after a Savage segment in which he disputes the veracity of love at first sight, and explains that our brains register feelings of love instantly, the same way that they register fear. She adds that we often head straight to sex to confirm those feelings.

“You learn a lot about someone between the sheets,” Fisher says. Tyson blurts out, “Or on the pool table.” He quickly adds, “Did I just say that?” Something tells me that Dr. Tyson, besides being a science stalwart, is someone’s crazy uncle.

Pay the price: In the next segment, Tyson asks Savage about the elements of a successful relationship. Savage points out that what he notices in the correspondence addressed to him is that there are people who are obsessed with the faults of their partner. He points out that everyone has an annoying habit or trait, but that success is more likely if you are willing to “pay the price of admission” and focus on the positive.

Monogamy isn’t natural, but it’s possible: Monogamy isn’t really found in our biology or that of other animals, Savage says. Even many of the birds we thought mated for life turn out to have hopped nests once in a while. He explains there is social monogamy and sexual monogamy. While he points out that he doesn’t oppose monogamy, but that he thinks there should be compassion for the fact that it’s nowhere near as easy as we expect it to be.

Sorry, Angelina: Fisher later discusses the male brain and how it has evolved to be highly visual. She cited a study where they placed men in MRIs and showed them photos of their wives to see how the brain responded when asked to think about love, not sex. The scans showed lots of extra positive activity. Interestingly, a man who asked to be shown Angelina Jolie and then his wife showed a lot more brain activity when looking at his wife than when looking at the actress. Fantasies are strong; happy memories, feeling and perceptions are stronger, Fisher says. “He had no problem getting laid after that,” Nice says. Fisher responds, “We did him a service.”

Not a matter of will: When it comes to the brain, there are very big differences between men and women, Savage says. He cites cases of how females taking testosterone reported changes in their thoughts and fantasies. Tyson then tells the story of a colleague who transitioned from male to female. The colleague realized that she responded to situations different now and was aware of the difference but felt so compelled to act in a certain way that she “began to question free will.”

Bill Nye the Horny Guy? Tyson asks, “Don’t you want to know what Bill Nye the Science Guy thinks about sex?” We say no, but Nye tells us anyway. Speaking from the Museum of Sex, Nye explains that we tend to think of animals treating sex as the business of making more animals. Truth is science has shown that the birds and the bees are enjoying it, too as they pass their genes on. He finishes saying, “All this talk about sex is making me hungry, wait, that’s not what I meant, all this talk about sex is making me horny.”

Tech titillations: Talking to Savage again, Tyson asks about apps like Tindr (this is like the third mention of the site, just saying) and explains that the inventors of the GPS never anticipated that their tech would be used to help strangers hook up for sex. Savage explains that new technology always moves first towards sex and romance. Phones were scorned because young men could call someone’s daughters; cars allowed couples to be alone, he says.

Finally, Tyson asks Fisher if love interferes with intelligence. “Yes” she says, “love makes you stupid.” Well, if that’s the case, I say, viva le dumbness (Mrs. Recapper I’m looking at you).

David F.

When it comes to TV watching, DavidF is a sucker for classic comedies, anything mechanical with wheels, nature shows and things being built.