So that happened. I don’t have anything witty to write about the excruciating climax of the penultimate episode. Here are my stream-of-consciousness ramblings about Orange is the New Black’s Season 4 finale.

1. Poussey was a favorite OITNB character, one-half of the most entertaining duo at Litchfield Penitentiary. Taystee and Poussey’s relationship was charming and authentic. Remember the scene when Taystee was released, albeit briefly, and was hustled to the van before she could say a proper farewell to her best friend? Poussey scrambled to the window and was crestfallen that she hadn’t been there when Taystee exited the unit. When Taystee happened to look up and spot Poussey, Taystee entertained her friend–for what they thought was one last time–with a comical dance move.
2. Dear God, can I get through this without crying? I waited a day to write it.
3. Nope, I can’t get through this without crying all over again.
4. Opening this episode with a Poussey flashback makes me feel all kinds of ways. Happy to see her but still reeling from Poussey’s senseless death. A death that happened because the members of the Litchfield prison’s “brotherhood” are unfit to be corrections officers.
5. When the semi-Warden, Caputo, confronts Head-Brute-in-Charge Piscatella, the CO claims that Poussey was “extremely violent” during the “insurrection.” If  you are not fluent in cover-your-asshattery, that translates to Poussey was “doing nothing wrong” at a “peaceful protest.” But the party line is that a 92-pound unarmed woman was a threat and that’s that.
   

   Poussey left a lasting impression on OITNB

6. Bayley, the incompetent CO, who squeezed the life out of a calm, tiny, innocent woman is having an ugly cry. I’m surprised he isn’t getting high-fived over beer pong. Since the brutal “brotherhood” shows a disregard for human life or even human dignity, I’d imagine an after-work happy hour going like this. This is, after all, the season where Charlie “Bark like a dog” Coates, who raped Pennsatucky, is relatively moral in comparison to the COs who engage in sanctioned brutality.
7. Gasp! The officials left Poussey’s covered body in the cafeteria! Such a cruel scene, but it’s not real. Only in dystopian fiction would authority figures behave with such an outrageous form of disrespect.
8. Ah, here’s the kind of droll dialogue we expect from Orange is the New Black. Red instructs a sympathetic Nicky to stay away from the family: Taystee, Black Cindy, Watson etc., because Nicky would offer a platitude like: “She’s in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Yes, it’s well-meaning but those bromides should be a shivvable offense.
9. Damnit, Black Cindy, do not make me laugh out loud when I’m filled with outrage! The recent convert to Judaism is sitting shiva with a Heath bar in her mouth.
10. Now that is unrealistic, who eats Heath bars? Do they even still manufacture Heath bars? That chocolate has been sitting in a vending machine for 20 years. I bet when Black Cindy took the wrapper off, it was dry and gray. Ugh.
11. Breaking News: The good folks who manufacture Heath bars probably won’t be placing ads here.
12. The folks who make Raisinets, Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups should consider an ad-buy.
13. Anita DeMarco knows how to offer condolences: “I’m very sorry for your loss. She was a good kid. And if you’re having a send-off for her, I’d like to contribute one of my commissary casseroles. It looks disgusting, but it tastes good. I just need a few hours heads-up. Gotta get some ingredients and some real time with the microwave.”
14. See? That’s how you do it. That’s much better than: “She’s in a better place.”
15. Watson is less than gracious, but Anita understands. “I get it. When my cousin Nino got shot and dumped in the Gowanus Canal, my brother took a bat and whacked every bald-headed guy he came across. Then it turned out, it wasn’t even Bald Mario who’d done it. It was Nino’s girlfriend’s father, who had a full head of hair, and was mad about Nino not putting his name on the birth certificate for the baby!”
16. Imma need a lot of Anita DeMarco’s whiskey-and-cigarettes voice next season.
17. The prison spinmeisters want to portray sweet-faced, tiny Poussey as a menace to society but her crime was low-level. It turns out she got arrested for trespassing and possessing a little weed! They admit “even her intake photo is adorable.”
18. You know who I will never find adorable? Piper, that’s who. Piper does nothing in this episode that couldn’t be left on the cutting room floor. She was essential to the series as the audience surrogate in the beginning but now she’s extraneous.
19. Here is an inspired scene. Flashback Poussey is standing on a sidewalk in Brooklyn, her phone was jacked and she’s searching for her friends. A trio of guys pass by and one of them is Bayley, her future killer. Very Sliding Doors, no? Did you notice the little expression on Poussey’s face? A premonition perhaps?
20. Welp, the spin machine can’t defame Poussey, who was educated and came from a good family; her dad was a major in the military. Unable to portray Poussey as a scary caricature for the media, they decide to make Bayley the story. The suits actually say: “We got a villain.” If you ask me, it’s the smug, barbaric “brotherhood”, so inept at their jobs that they can’t maintain the peace or control a situation without brutality or excessive force who are the villains here.
21. Okay, this episode is getting trippy. Poussey, who is still lost, encounters a bunch of Buddhist monks on bikes with light-up wheels. They give her a lift and she rides on the handlebars. What’s going on here? It’s starting to get a Sopranos vibe. Will Poussey end up in a diner playing “Don’t Stop Believing” on the jukebox. Is this how Poussey gets to heaven, escorted by a bunch of white cyclists in yellow robes? (Later on, we find out that it’s a group of benign trespassing performance artists, which obviously led to Poussey’s ludicrous incarceration.) I’d prefer to think Poussey was escorted to heaven by cycling monks and when she got there, she found an endless library and became the star of her own cooking show.
22. Caputo finally finds his balls. This was a tragedy and the victim must be recognized. With the press gathered, Caputo defends–waaaait for it–Bayley. Caputo doesn’t even mention Poussey by name. He certainly doesn’t mention that the “brotherhood” are paid thugs who forced prisoners to beat each other just for kicks. He doesn’t even know Charlie raped Pennsatucky, he doesn’t know that the tough-as-nails Red was tormented with sleep-deprivation, he doesn’t know that a sicko CO coerced Maritza to swallow a live mouse. But, by golly, he must take a stand and let the world know that Poussey’s death was one big oopsie made by a nice kid.
23. During Caputo’s defense of Bayley, the music swells. I hope that was ironic and the OITNB writers didn’t seriously consider this Caputo’s heroic moment, because let’s remember that innocent Poussey died because a blundering hobbledehoy was put in a position for which he exhibited no aptitude. The “brotherhood” specialize in terror and torment, not training or talent.
24. Taystee, will never find Caputo heroic. Cue the riot. Cue a powderkeg.
25. But all that will play out in Season 5. For now, let’s remember Samira Wiley’s stellar performance as Poussey Washington.
26. And thank the writers for that one last shot of her radiant smile.
27. Never forget these words, carry them in your heart: “My name is Poussey. Accent à droite, bitch.”

We like to read your witty and astute opinions on OITNB. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise we’ll get to them after we drink some of Poussey’s hooch.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.