Crazy Eyes and Piper are Back! Netflix Releases Orange is The New Black Season Three on June 12
It’s visiting day at Litchfield prison tomorrow. The third season of the Netflix series Orange is The New Black premieres on June 12. Put your phone on silent mode, grab the popcorn and if you have children, follow the wise words of Aleida Diaz and tell the sitter: “Get them a pizza if they’re hungry, I’m eating oysters, bitches.” Well, don’t do that, Aleida is a horrible mom, but get ready to binge watch!
If you’re a new inmate, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. There are only so many humiliations Piper can take. “I have been here for less than two weeks. I have been starved out… felt up… teased… stalked… threatened… and called Taylor Swift.”
2. Don’t insult Red.“You called my food disgusting. You’re not getting hazed. You’re not getting harassed. You’re getting starved. To death. You’re leaving Litchfield as a skeleton in a body bag Pow! Now march your Yuppie ass out of my kitchen. Slowly, so you don’t burn too many calories.”
3. Pronounce Poussey’s name correctly.“My name is Poussey. Accent à droite, bitch.”
4. ”Don’t get your hair done by Danita, Sophia’s competitor. “She’ll burn the s–t your scalp out.”
5. If you need someone to keep time during a game, ask Crazy Eyes. “I like clock duty. Watchin’ the clock and… smellin’ the clock.”
To refresh your memory about the Orange is the New Black characters, check out our guest feature at The Root.
Yippee! This will be a great weekend!
Right? Popcorn, wine and no sleep.