The Bachelorette Season 11 — Episode 7

Editor’s Note: Our special contributor Andrée H. really, really, really likes this show, but a war is brewing between her and Kaitlyn. The Bachelorette is playing with Shawn’s feelings. Nobody plays with Shawn’s feelings, not on Andrée’s watch. Andrée now has to wear a monitor on her ankle so we make sure she doesn’t track down Kaitlyn and lob roses at her head.

This week’s episode was hard to watch and even harder to write about. It definitely is “the most dramatic season ever on The Bachelorette,”  — no one can deny that. But this was not one of those making you wish you were living in a fairytale kind of episodes. Not in the least.

Keeping up with this season’s apparent new format, we began the episode where we left off last week with Ian tearing Kaitlyn a new one. Explaining to her that she doesn’t get how deep he is, that she is looking for the wrong things in a guy and that she’s just here to make out with guys on TV. She asks him if he has any idea how offensive he is being, to which he replies,  “You asked us to honest.” Fair enough. You are honestly a douchebag. Good to know.

On his car ride, Ian rambles  that after watching Kaitlyn do such a terrible job as The Bachelorette, he feels confident he could be a great Bachelor. He even said once that was announced “They’d all be coming out of the woodwork.” If you ask me, I think he’s going to be hard-pressed to get a date for at least a good year after saying half of what he said on television. In fact, as I was watching a sudden sadness came over me thinking someday, someone will probably marry this guy. A sound reason to watch the Bachelorette — it won’t be any of us!

Justin and Joshua were left without roses so after they exited, Chris Harrison announced the next stop will be Dublin, Ireland!

Things kick off with the only one-on-one date for the week going to Nick. It’s a pretty casual date, they roam the streets of Dublin showing way too much PDA and doing a little Irish step dancing. They take a break from separating their lips long enough to eat, during which time Kaitlyn tells Nick that she’s falling for him. She asks him if he wants to head back to her hotel room, because they both don’t want the night to end.

They start making out and getting handsy with each other on the couch, then they take it to her bed. The cameras remain focused on her bedroom door, while the mics pick up hot-and-heavy breathing and moaning from inside. The next morning, there are of shots of Nick leaving Kaitlyn’s room as she stands on her balcony. This hangover is clearly hurting Kaitlyn as she begins to panic about Nick telling the guys, and this potentially destroying her relationships with the other men. What did you think would happen, seriously? I mean there are several cameras in your face. I know you were drunk, but at one point did you not glance at the cameras and think,”Hmm, do I want everyone to watch me drunk fuck this dude on national TV?” No? Not ever a little bit?

Meanwhile, Nick all but tells the guys he slept with her right away, explaining he was invited back to her suite after the date and that it was very personal and intimate. Shawn has permanently become the color of a tomato it seems, at this point I am legitimately concerned about one of the veins on his head exploding.

Then we move on to another one of the worst group dates I have ever seen on this show. I mean just awful. Chris meets all the guys in the street to explain to them that Kaitlyn has died and this date will be her wake. — an Irish wake. The guys stand around her open casket (where she is laughing uncontrollably because she sucks at life and literally can’t even play dead) and the guys all have to deliver a eulogy. It’s all pretty boring until Shawn delivers his, saying that he wasn’t surprised she took her own life after having to spend an entire day with Nick yesterday. Zing.

The next stop is the Guinness Storehouse where the men drink and fight for time with Kaitlyn. Shawn shows pictures of his family to Kaitlyn and they have a really touching moment, but then she gives the group rose to Jared. She heads off with Jared walking down a candlelit path leading to a private The Cranberries gig, who play for Kaitlyn and Jared as they dance and make out.

Back with the men, Shawn is at his boiling point. All the guys are sitting around whining about how much it sucks not getting the rose, and Shawn just starts saying “I love this girl” then leaves the room. He pulls aside a member of the production crew that he has befriended saying “I can’t do this.” He doesn’t want to wait around until “she bangs two other dudes in the Fantasy Suites.” Shawn says, “She told me I was the one.” It’s all extremely heartbreaking. He’s here for the right reasons. Kaitlyn what is wrong with you?

The show ends with Shawn knocking on Kaitlyn’s down and sitting her down on the couch to talk about all of this. Kaitlyn is freaking out worried that this is about her sleeping with Nick. She doesn’t even realize that she really is doing this all wrong. I seriously hope that this is a wake-up call for her and she is going to have to do some serious backpedaling to fix all of this. Of course, we won’t get to see any of that backpedaling until next week because once again, it’s to be continued.

Left Before The Rose Ceremony: Ian

Already Had Roses: Shawn, Ben H, and Nick

Rose Ceremony: Jared, Chris “Cupcake,” JJ, Joe and Ben Z. The final rose goes to Tanner, sending home Joshua and Justin.

One-On-One Date: Nick. Gets rose. Gets Laid.

Group Date: Ben H., Ben Z., Chris “Cupcake,” Jared, Shawn B. and Tanner. Jared gets the rose. Shawn gets pissed.

Britt and Brady Update: Brady meets Britt’s Mom, she says he’d make a good friend a lot. Britt hopes that he is more than a friend. Ummmm isn’t that up to you and not your Mom Britt?