Good friend and frequent commenter Geri M. is watching this season of The Bachelorette, after swearing she was done with it. I may or may not have lured her back into the fold. Last night, I received a series of messages about the show, so this post is devoted to Geri’s stream-of-consciousness review.
Athena, played by Natasha Burnett, is a producer’s dream; tell Athena how to play her character and she will serve up some Nomarosa realness. That’s because she has her head in the game unlike all those other true-believers, those deluded starry-eyed ladies, who think they’ll ride into the sunset with The Bachelor, or as the male prize, Adam, is known as on UnREAL, The Suitor.
Crazy Eyes gives good side-eye. She spent the entire season looking at other inmates like they were nuts. She had to good reason, the Litchfield ladies are kind of loco.
High school sweethearts Jamie St. Patrick and Angela Valdes reunited when she strolled into his nightclub, Truth. Ironically, neither of them can tell each other the whole truth about their lives. Jamie neglected to mention that he’s leading a double life as a drug distributor, who goes by the name “Ghost.” Angie didn’t tell him that she’s part of a federal task force investigating the Lobos drug cartel. Well, she was on the task force until she screwed up the case, so she was demoted to the white-collar crime division. But Angie’s still secretly working the case.
Good news! Jamie and Angela finally make that trip to Miami. Bad news! Angela is still a fed and Ghost is still the drug distributor she’s searching for.
Evil Queen Quin is aware of Anna’s eating disorder and nearly clapped her hands with glee at the thought of a contestant sprawled on the bathroom floor, surrounded by her “concerned” rivals.
Reunited high school sweethearts Jamie “Ghost” St. Patrick and Angela Valdes were so happy together and ready to run off to Miami. Typical New Yorkers always thinking life in Florida is going to be so much better, then they encounter their first alligator or serial killer or voting irregularities and they see the dark side of the Sunshine State. In any case, Jamie’s married and Tasha St. Patrick seems like the kind of wife who wouldn’t go quietly, but that’s not their biggest obstacle. Jamie and Angie’s careers get in the way. Ever since Jamie’s bestie, business partner, and dragon Tommy Egan, informed St. Patrick that his mistress might want to lock him up in a federal prison, Jamie’s had some trust issues. Let’s go!
That vulture Simon Stern is making a power-grab to take control of Jamie’s club, Truth. Here’s a peek at what’s ahead on tomorrow’s episode.