Quantico: “Guilty” — Nov. 29, 2015
Photo courtesy of ABC
Quantico is glorious. Everyone is hot, and they are working to keep America safe by hooking up. It’s a cocktail of Melrose Place mixed with Homeland and How to Get Away with Murder as a garnish. FBI Agent Alex Parrish is accused of masterminding a deadly explosion at Grand Central. She went on the run to prove her innocence. She swam the Hudson River from Manhattan to the Bronx and ran around the various boroughs. She performed rudimentary surgery on her ex-boyfriend and fellow agent Ryan Booth when he took a bullet while trying to help her clear her name. Alex said she’d flee the country with Ryan, but it was all a ruse to get him to safety. Alex did all of this without getting her hair or makeup messed up. Now she has to figure out who framed her. Was it a former classmate? Was it a head honcho at Quantico or was it someone we haven’t even met yet after all these episodes? It’s probably the latter. Let’s go!
Quantico before the attack
Now that Agent Liam O’Connor, an instructor, has told Alex the truth about her dad—he wasn’t a terrorist or a rogue agent, both men were part of a raid that went awry, we don’t have to hear about that so-so subplot again. Alex cares about Liam now, so she’s concerned when he is MIA for a week. It goes like this:
Ryan: Hey, where are you going? We were in the middle of flirting.
Alex: Um, I just forgot about something, see you later.
Ryan: Okay, I’ll just secretly follow you to Liam’s house.
Alex: Hi Liam, nobody knows I’m here. I guess my boyfriend is so stealthy that I didn’t observe him tailing me even though I’m a top-of-the-class trainee. The episode is four minutes in and we haven’t had a nude scene yet. Good thing you’re so remorseful about that disastrous raid that you have started drinking too much. I can get you in the shower to sober up. You’re hot; the show should write in more shirtless scenes for you.
Ryan is jelly because Alex is doing something secretive with Liam. Ryan came down with amnesia since the last episode; he forgot that his romance with Alex went sideways because he was doing something secretive with Liam. The bottom line is: Do not do anything secretive with Liam.
Spoiler: By the end of the episode Alex will do something secretive with Liam.
Quantico Deputy Director Miranda Shaw is hospitalized because she was stabbed by her son. Or was she? This is Quantico, so there is probably more to the story. Spoiler: There’s more to the story. It looks like Miranda’s son was kidnapped. He’s annoying, so it’s a victimless crime.
In Miranda’s absence, Anne Heche shows up as celeb profiler Dr. Susan Langdon. The guest instructor is famous because she nabbed the “Welfare Mom Killer.” Not that Miranda isn’t fierce, but Langdon is a breath of fresh air. It goes like this:
Langdon: Hi class.
Class: Hi.
Langdon: I’m giving you an assignment that doesn’t involve needless drama or Miranda’s head games. I’m also different because I will reward you with a night of doing shots in a tavern.
Simon Asher: Hmm, it’s nice drinking and having fun, but I I have questions about the case that made you famous. There are inconsistencies. One could assume you faked evidence to nab the killer.
Langdon: I could kill you now. Nobody would know.
Simon: I miss Miranda.
Alex and Ryan are having a good time at the tavern until she hears that Liam is drunk in another pub and leaves. Ryan’s night is bad, but not as bad as Simon’s. It’s a good thing Agent Booth stepped outside. It goes like this:
Ryan: Hi Simon, I see you out here with Langdon. Something about this is off. Is she trying to kill you or something?
Langdon: Look at the time. Bye, Simon!
Simon reports that Langdon faked evidence, and his classmates find out. They praise his integrity. Just kidding. They attack him for being a tattletale which means a murderer will go free.
NYC after the attack
Alex has turned herself into the FBI command center so she can warn them that she thinks there’s another bomb set to go off in New York. She’s taken to “the vault,” which sounds ominous. Some self-identified “high-value” interrogators show up, they outrank Liam because they are there through an executive order from the President. They seem shady. They are shady. It goes like this:
Investigators: You better confess or things will not work out for you.
Alex: There are two things that I don’t do: make false confessions or muss my makeup.
Investigators: We apprehended Ryan and are torturing him, which makes this near-shirtless scene unenjoyable.
Alex: Gulp.
Alex’s former classmates, who thought she was guilty have now found enough evidence to prove she’s been framed. It goes like this:
Liam: Your former classmates have now convinced me that you are innocent so I’m getting you away from these shady investigators.
Alex: Whew.
Liam: It would really mess up our chance of catching the culprit who framed you if we let you go, so you should play along so as not to arouse suspicion.
Alex: Okey doke, I’ll plead guilty of being responsible for a terrorist attack. I still look pretty in an orange jumpsuit and my hair remains on fleek.
Quantico before the attack
Simon: Hi Creepy Bearded Guy
Creepy Bearded Guy: Hi. Here are the blueprints to the NYC transit system.
Simon: Wow, I guess I’m the one who framed Alex. On the other hand, that’s so obvious, this is probably a red herring.
Quantico airs Sundays at 10/9c on ABC.
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