30 Thoughts on Sleepy Hollow: “The Art of War”

I missed you, Sleepyheads! You know what happens when in-laws come to town. I just started watching the episode. Here are some stream-of-consciousness ramblings until the full recap. Let’s go! BTW, here’s last week’s recap.

1. Normally, I’d be swooning at the Ichabod closeup and the eyebrow porn, but not this time because the camera will pull back and he’ll be with that weirdo extra who keeps trying to ship herself with him. Last week, we opened with a closeup, but it was marred by Crextra’s presence. Wait, that damn, sexy hobo is playing chess with Abbie. It’s safe to rewind.
2. Ha! Abbie just put Crane in checkmate. Somebody needed to put him in check because he has been a naughty boy.
3. Oh, they are at Abbie’s home, yay! Realty porn: look at those pocket doors!
4. There is a visitor, it had better not be that Crextra. Well, looky here, it’s Daniel Reynolds. Agent Chocolate gives Ichabod side-eye. Crane knows he has no right to jab his fingers in the air or arch his eyebrow this time, so he just looks uncomfortable and slinks off with his tail between his legs to make tea while the agents talk business.
5. For those keeping track, I have spent five minutes dreading the appearance of that oddball Crextra, and she’s not around yet so I’ll let down my guard.
6. Jenny Mills and Joe Corbin in the ring. There is a lot of glistening going on. Clearly my initial notion about a sibling-like relationship was incorrect. Well, you guys calIed it. When you’re right, you’re right. This is hot, no? I want Mr. TV Recaps to kickbox with me now.
7. Don’t be an idiot about inheriting blood money, Joe. Money is money.
8. So, handling the shard that she took from Nevins made Jenny a metahuman now, I guess. Look at Abbie fussing at her sister about interacting with Nevins, thus interfering with an FBI investigation. She’s all: “Oh, you’re a mutant of some kind now, well that’s not the point. You should have done as I said. Quantico!” Abbie walking away and giving Jenny and Joe the hand of dismissal is perfection. Abbie is even glorious when she’s crabby. Abbie wants to know if her sister experienced any physical changes. Aside from the red glow and white-glazed eyes? Oh, Abbie.
9. Whoa, look at Jenny dropping her gun and going for the knives. She just sliced that monster. Leave the shivving to Jenny. Psst, Jen-Jen, can you sneak into Benihana dressed up like a hibachi chef?
10. Jenny has that arched eyebrow, Crane has the arched eyebrow and the flailing fingers, Miss Abbie has the doe eyes. Jenny’s talking to her, and Abbie’s responses are doe eyes and side-eye. Nicole Beharie could be a silent film star. Can some of you talented YouTube folks make that a thing? Please?
11. Is Ichabod shipping Joe and Jenny? That slight smile when he advises Master Corbin to talk to her is charming, but when did he become a relationship expert? Well, they say those who can’t do… Ah, and Corbin tells Crane to take his own advice. Corbin is shipping Ichabbie.
12. Mistletoe defeats the Berserkers? Are the writers just baiting Team Ichabbie now? There had better be a Christmas-in-February episode, if we are talking abut this preposterous mistletoe defense.
13. Uh-oh, Jenny has gone white-eyed and she’s got a deep-voice message: Winter is coming.
14. Ooh, Agent Reynolds is in DC talking to some man about FBI business … or is he? There is subtext. That Daniel is sketchy, but we still need to see him on a date with Abbie. Benihana is lame now because they let extras in. Agent Chocolate should treat Abbe to dinner at Red Lobster. Two words: Endless shrimp.
15. The mistletoe didn’t work on those monsters. Welp, save it for that Christmas-in-February special when the show comes back during sweeps month. Nothing says ratings like an Ichabbie kiss.
16. Crane driving a pickup truck gives me life.
17. As does his picking a lock at Nevins’ hideout or wherever he is.
18. My resolve to break up with him is weakening.
19. When will TV characters stop writing confidential information on a notepad with a heavy hand so that another character can grab a nearby pencil and do some rubbing to reveal the secret? Use an app.
20. Look at Sophie frisking Ichabod, don’t get any ideas about Benihana, girl. And he needs to stop smiling. He probably hasn’t been touched like that in centuries. Agent Doe Eyes could frisk him at home and she has a sheer top and handcuffs so…
21. Take a minute to visualize an Ichabbie role-playing scene. You’re welcome.
22. Damnit, twistory flashback time. Here it comes. Wait, Miss Betsy is not in the flashback? The writers can meet me under the mistletoe.
23. The moment with Joe tending to Jenny is quite sweet. Even BAMF ladies deserve tenderness and being taken care of.
24. Holy shit.
25. Hooleeeeeeeee shit!
26. Kissing?
27. They are kissing?
28. Joe and Jenny are canon?
29. Kissing canon? Canon kissing? Are you telling me that after two years Sleepy Hollow has finally delivered a kiss between two characters that we want to see kissing? Rewind.
30. Two kisses? Two long kisses? Let’s just end the episode here while I do the Holy Ghost dance like your Baptist grandma.

The full recap to come.

We love the clever Sleepyhead comments. They don’t appear immediately, but we promise to get to them after praising the Lord.

Sleepy Hollow airs Thursdays at 9/8c on FOX.