Netflix dropped Season 4 of Orange is the New Black yesterday. As stated in my handy OITNB binge survival guide, it takes commitment and strategy to complete the binge in one day. I didn’t follow my own advice, I took bathroom breaks, got some sleep and interacted with others. Now Mr. TV Recaps is out and I’ve got my head in the game. Here are some stream-of-consciousness ramblings on the fourth episode. Let’s go!

1. Corrections Officer and counselor Sam Healy is, has always been and will forever be a sad, petty little man. He never knows what to say or do with women and is the Joe McCarthy of lesbianism. His childhood trauma is revealed in flashbacks. Surprise! Healy has mommy issues. His attempts to curry favor with celebrity chef Judy King are half-baked. She prefers the company of electric shop manager, Joel Luschek of all people. Poor Healy, forever alone.
2. Judy has been coerced by Healey into heading up a cooking class, just wondering if the Empress has clothes. It’d be hilarious to find out that the star inmate doesn’t know her aspic from her elbow noodles. Red would be beside herself with glee.
3. So Piper’s underground used-panties business is still a thing, eh? It was funny last year, but this turf war is losing me. I support the entrepreneurial spirit, but I’m underwhelmed by this underwear storyline.
   

   Sophia is in a hairy situation on OITNB

4. OMG, it’s Sophia! How long has she been stuck in SHU? She thinks it’s been months. I believe it’s been weeks in-universe. Regardless this unacceptable. Sophia is fabulous and isolating her in a cold, dreary cell is criminal. She did nothing wrong, and this is supposedly for her own “protection.” Taking away Sophia’s wig, glamorous makeup and position as the prison stylist is an abuse of power. How are the inmates getting their hair did without Sophia? I bet it’s all split ends and gray roots. They had better not go to Davita. She’ll fry your scalp. #FreeSophia
5. I’ll say this about my girl, Sophia knows how to MacGyver herself out of a bad situation. She was clever enough to flood one cell and start a blaze in another one. That’s dangerous but damn determined. Question: Will a transgender inmate have it any easier in gen pop at maximum security?
6. OMG, it’s Nicky! At least, Sophia will have a friend in gen pop. It was so heartbreaking when Nicky got carted off over that heroin situation last season. Can someone please bring back Miss Claudette now? She was simply having a moment when she attacked a CO.
7. Aw, Healy isn’t so bad after all. He was quite comforting to Lolly when the conspiracy theorist was raving about burying a man’s body in the prison vegetable garden. Either Healy has a soft spot for delusional nutters or he suspects she’s telling the truth and doesn’t want to be bogged down in paperwork. Either way, it’s a win for Alex.

We enjoy hearing from witty, eloquent OITNB fans. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise to get to them after we deliver a cake with a file in it to Sophia.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.