Netflix released Season 4 of Orange is the New Black today. You’d have to be as nutty as Crazy Eyes to recap 13 shows in a row, but I can share a few stream-of-consciousness ramblings as I binge watch. Let’s go!

1. This is random, but I love the theme song and always wonder about the faces in the opening. Are they actual prisoners? This could be answered with a quick Wiki search but I’m lazy I can’t watch, blog and search at the same time. I’m only one woman.
2. My beloved Black Cindy and her awe-inspiring afro puffs converted to Judaism and she’s bunking with a Muslim inmate. They just met and are already beefing. I can see a mini Mideast conflict brewing. What are they going to fight over, Bioré strips from the commisary?
   

   Black Cindy may want to Shiva her roomie on OITNB

3. Thank God Daya’s pregnancy is over, I was tired of the pregnancy pad. I bet actress Dascha Polanco is glad that she doesn’t have to waddle about like that for another season. I’m not gonna lie, I find Daya too mopey to care about. Give me the witty Poussey, droll stylist Sophia or vulgar but surprisingly brainy Big Boo over Daya’s Eyeore. I see the baby daddy drama is continuing. Where’s my remote?
4. Okay, Red’s new roomie snores and the Latinas are arguing about nationalities–Mexicans vs. Dominicans blah, blah–I’m bored. Where is Sophia Burset? They better release her from SHU immediately. I’d enjoy Taystee and Poussey’s witty banter right now.
5. I looked it up and those faces in the opening credits belong to real ex-cons. You’re welcome.

Episode rating: Meh. Yes, the show needs to introduce newbies and flesh out the stories of former tertiary characters like Blanca Flores, who used to cry and scream in the bathroom stall as she talked to the devil, or so it seemed. Blanca faked being crazy as she was secretly talking to her boyfriend Diablo on a phone she’d hidden. But this episode didn’t snap, crackle or pop for me.

Confession: I broke my own binge survival rules so Mr. TV Recaps and I are heading out to dinner with friends. Would it be rude to watch on my phone between courses?…

We love hearing from smart, thoughtful and witty OITNB fans. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise we’ll get to them when we leave SHU.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.