Photo: Fox

Here we are, one episode left until the Season 3 finale and the season went way too fast. The recaps went way too slow. Thank you for your patience. Here are my pre-recap stream-of-consciousness ramblings on “Delaware.”

1. Look at Ichabod making cappuccino. Is it wrong to say I think he makes everything look sexy? Pour that hot milk, purrrrr. He’s good at this. If Ichabod ever wants to branch out from being a house husband he can go work at Starbucks.
2. We are all thinking about the time Abbie introduced Crane to cappuccino, right?
3. So, Crane going to keep flirting in Italian, I see. That’s new. I guess constantly name-dropping founding fathers wasn’t working on Abbie so he had to up his game with a romance language.
4. His face in the foam!
5. Oh God, that sounds so dirty.
6. To clarify, it was a design in the cappuccino foam. A cute little self-portrait.
7. And Abbie Mills brings home the bacon–literally and figuratively. Or bacon donuts which sound like the best thing ever.
8. Now Abbie is touching Ichabod’s face and I am freaking out. This better be for real and not a dream sequence.
9. Yes, it is to “for real.”
10. So this is what it takes for some face-touching, these two preparing to enter the catacombs, a desolate dimension where they face death or worse.
11. Pandora is my girl and I’m so glad she ditched the Hidden One and is helping out Team Witness. He may be a god, but he’s cranky and critical and not nice to Panora after all the trouble she went to so he could be resurrected. We need Pandora to join the good guys so she can stick around.
12. Oh, Daniel. Hi. I was all happy about Abbie getting kissed in the last episode but now I saw the cappuccino scene and I forgot all about you. Nothing personal.
13. Daniel is reminiscing about the time he and Abbie spent in Virginia Beach. I could swear they talked about North Carolina in another episode so now I have to spend time looking this up. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. One of you Sleepheads will remember.
14. Oh, Betsy Ross. I thought she was gone for good. Maybe I misinterpreted what Ichabod said last week. I thought we were done with Betsy flashbacks. Nothing personal.
15. Abbie crossing the Delaware with the flag is the cutest thing ever, right? This is the kind of moment where Sleepy Hollow rocks.
16. Uh-oh, Joe Corbin is the wendigo again? The Hidden One can just bring out the beast in Joe like that? Just to mess with Jenny? That’s just mean. I hate him so much. Plotting to destroy the world is one thing, but hurting Jenny’s boyfriend just for kicks is unacceptable.
17. This Ford Daniel’s driving is some obvious product placement. Good, we need this show to get lots of ad dollars. Now go visit Home Depot and stop at Red Lobster for the endless shrimp. Make it rain!
18. Abbie and Ichabod are talking about how they had imaginary conversations while they were apart. Be honest, when Ichabod told Abbie about having “many a rousing chats” with Abbie, you thought he said “arousing” and you know it.
19. This type of drifting off into shipper land is precisely why I don’t remember if Danny said they were at Virginia Beach. There’s too much glossing over details and focusing on shipping. From now on, I’ll pay close attention. No more ignoring the plot.
20. Something, something plot. Catacombs. Something. Blah, blah.
21. Oh, dear God, that’s Betsy Ross in the catacombs. She better not even think about being alive. There was something something plot about this a few minutes ago. That’s just her body or something. Swear to God, no coming back from the dead.
22. Okay, blah, blah. Something. It’s sad that the Betsy Ross who came back from the catacombs wasn’t the real one or something. Ichabod’s sad about this. Just give him some cappuccino and a hug and move on.
23. Wow! Ezra Mills just admitted to Jenny that that he knows all about the supernatural world  He knew August Corbin? This is juicy. No wonder he was so relaxed about his daughter’s boyfriend being a wendigo.
24. Damnit, Betsy isn’t really dead.
25. Sigh.
26. And now Hidden One is threatening my girl Pandora. He’s evil. He needs to die and stay dead. Really dead. That’s a passive-aggressive reference to Betsy.
27. Abbie’s side-eye indicates that she is also not happy to see Betsy.
28. Betsy is giving Abbie some side-eye too.
29. So Betsy s back and Joe is the wendigo and attacking Jenny and Ezra. Too much stress.
30. Jenny just had to shoot Joe?! I can’t. I can’t. No. No. No.
31. The Hidden One blah, blah, ending the world. Go ahead, do it. Betsy is alive and Joe is dead so whatever.
32. Betsy thinks it’s the 1700s?  She probably thinks Abbie’s a slave. That explains the look. No shade. Crane thought that too in the beginning. The 18th century be like….
33. This is the end of the episode? This is the cliffhanger?
34. It’s April Fool’s Day so everything aside from the cappuccino foreplay and Ezra Mills being a supernatural guy and Pandora being kind of good better be a prank. Betsy better be dead and Joe Corbin better be alive.
35. “For real.”

Sleepy Hollow airs Fridays at 8/7c on Fox.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.