The Kindred shows Ichabbie how it’s done.
Photo: Fox

Okay, loved this episode of Sleepy Hollow. Here are my pre-recap stream-of-consciousness ramblings.

1. In this opening, we’re watching extras make out. Just putting that out there. No need to drive the point home. You understand the subtext.
2. The subtext is that these extras are getting more play than certain main characters we can think of. Oh, and it’s a first date. Not everyone drags their feet when it comes to these things. Ahem.
3. You know what? This extra is creepy and rapey, so I’m walking that back. Sorry for jumping the gun there, Sleepy Hollow writers.
4. You know who doesn’t care for date rape? The Kindred. Yay! It’s The Kindred! He’s back! Too bad he’s not as restrained when it comes to killing extras.
5. Is Ichabod in a robe? Let’s assume he is. How informal. No need to drive the point home. You understand the subtext.
6. The subtext is that Crane and Abbie often walk about their love nest in a state of undress. She probably wears his pajama top and he just wears the pajama bottom on Sundays when they are sipping mimosas and enjoying the Belgian waffles that he makes for her.
7. Oh, it’s Crextra. You understand the subtext. Oooh, that was a frosty exchange. It would be nice to think that we never see her again, but we all know that’s not the case.
8. Abbie is still dealing with the effects of being in a remote otherworldly hellscape for ten months. Very good. She can’t just bounce back from that sort of thing. Ichabod disappeared for nine months or so after he shivved his first wife, so they have spent more time apart than they have together. She may not be enthused about returning to the FBI now, but she better go back to work. Being an agent was her dream. Is she sitting on a pile of cash? Who will pay for everything? Certainly not Ichabod. But the fact that he runs out and gets plants to please Abbie is adorable. He’s a house husband. Crane pulls his weight in other ways.
9. The Hidden One wants to know why Pandora is sad. Hmm, could it be that he’s always cranky and criticizes her? Now he says he loves her, well he better show it. Pandora is my girl.
10. So the chickens have come home to roost, the Witnesses have figured out that re-animating the Kindred back in Season 2 was a really bad idea. You think? And the whole thing was to rescue Crane’s trifling first wife.
11. Heh, Ichabod wants to know when Abbie learned to decipher Ben Franklin’s codes. When did he learn to ride a motorcycle? Where does he get the money for Hibachi? Did he sell his first wife’s necklace? We have questions, too.
12. The Kindred targets couples. What is that about? Ah, he’s jealous of romantic relationships. Yes, we all should have someone. Kindred. Please talk to Abbie.
13. Sigh, Crextra is still trying to get in touch with Crane. Ugh. So much for the hope that she’ll go away. FFS, girl. See Crane? This is what happens when you get entangled with random, clingy extras. She thinks he’s married.
14. YES. HE. HAS. A. WIFE. HER. NAME. IS. ABBIE. DON’T MAKE ME UPPERCASE!
15. Honestly.
16. If Crextra is so thirsty and the Kindred is lonely, he should get in touch with her. Swipe right.
17. Damn, this Crextra is still yammering on. Good. Serves Crane right. This is called erotomania. It’s a condition. It’s a actual psychological condition. I didn’t make that up.
18. Not that I would ever make anything up.
19. Maybe sometimes I make up recap details a teensy bit…
20. Oooh, the Kindred grabbed Crextra. “You follow, she dies.” Yasssssss. The Kindred is on our side.
21. Unleashing the Kindred was a bad idea. Dating Crextra was a bad idea. This episode is thematic.
22.  Now the Witnesses and the Scooby gang need to find where the Kindred took Crextra, and Abbie suggests the carriage house because: “It’s where the Headless Horseman tried to keep his bride.” Is Abbie talking about Katrina and can’t bring herself to say her name? If so, that is some epic shade.
23. It would be like refusing to name Crextra’s name and only referring to her by a nickname reserved for extras who ship themselves with Crane.
24. Kidnapping Crextra, putting his arms around Sophie’s neck. This is why the Kindred is alone. He doesn’t know how to woo the ladies.
25. Okay, so Benjamin Franklin made a Lady Kindred and now they are reunited. Gruesome creatures in Sleepy Hollow are making out. And this creature just got a kiss. Yes, even zombified creatures get some play in this town. I’m subtexting so hard right now.
26. Sophie told Daniel to “Tell her how important she is to you.” Yes, let’s all tell Abbie how we feel about her. All of us. Every single character on this show. Ahem.
27. Crane is doing the “it’s not you, it’s me.” This is a kind way to break up with Crextra. He really doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. He’s better at it than the latest Bachelor.
28. Crane thinks he’s not ready for a relationship, but Crextra thinks Crane is not ready for a relationship—with her. She thinks he’s ready for some other woman. Yes, Crextra ships Ichabbie.
29. I have always loved Zoe. Right from the beginning and she now gets her own character bio when I get around to it. If only you people hadn’t been so mean about her… Cough.
30. Daniel telling Agent Doe Eyes: “Abbie Mills deserves better!” Yasssss! You understand the subtext.
31. The subtext is the show telling you: “Please for the love of God, stop harassing us. We get it.”
32. Nicely played, Sleepyheads. Nicely played.

Full recap to come.

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Sleepy Hollow airs Fridays at 8/7c on Fox.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.