Okay, the Orange is the New Black Season 4 marathon continues. The binge has been interrupted for food, bathroom breaks, interaction with Mr. TV Recaps, caring for the dog, social activities and sleep. In other words, I have sinned against you. Actually, I inadvertently stumbled across a possible spoiler and if it means what I think it means, I will be distraught, so I didn’t want to watch too close to bedtime. With that out of the way, here are my stream-of-consciousness ramblings. Let’s go!

1. Yeah, so the body of the assassin Alex killed was buried in the prison garden and just cropped up. Or at least pieces of him did. Everybody is under suspicion. Caputo correctly orders his staff to not make rash judgments and antagonize the situation, so there is to be no witch hunt until facts have been gathered. Ha-ha! Caputo still thinks he’s running things though we’ve barely seen him at work. Chief Bully in Charge Corrections Officer Piscatella gives counter orders the minute Caputo’s back is turned.
2. I mentioned earlier that I wonder what actual wardens and prison employees think of this show. In Season 1 through 3, the Litchfield staffers ranged from corrupt to incompetent to buffoonish. Pornstache was vile but he’s a rank amateur compared to the depraved and fascist regime runningthe prison in Season 4. Pornstache was also entertaining when he wasn’t being a complete dick. Caputo, who might as well just be a figurehead, has been mostly useless and doesn’t demonstrate any real authority. One can only hope real-life corrections officers think this is defamation of character. What if they don’t?
3. Ah, Counselor and corrections officer Sam Healey is as helpful as ever. Crazy Lolly did tell him there was a buried body but she also belongs to the Area 51/chemtrail community so Healey didn’t take Lolly seriously. I won’t blame him for slipping out of the prison for soft serve. I may or may not have loaded up on Butter Pecan as a coping strategy.
4. Ha! Thank you OTNB writers for treating us to electrical shop manager Joel Luscheck reluctantly pulled into a threesome wth Yoga “Namaste” Jones and celeb chef Judy King. It’s disturbing, hilarious and let’s remember that Luscheck, who was an antagonist in earlier seasons–lazy, vulgar and unethical–is one of the more upstanding prison employees. OMG, did Judy just stick her tongue in his mouth? This is his punishment for misdeeds.
5. Judy is modeled after genteel jailbird Martha Stewart. Just for fun, let’s imagine that Martha dropped some Molly. Was Molly a thing then, or was it still plain old Ecstasy? Is “drop” the correct verbiage? Who knows? Let’s just all tell ourselves that Maratha Stewart took Ecstacy and instigated threesomes in the hoosegow. No shade, that would be kind of awesome.
   

   Red goes to pieces on OITNB

6. Let the roundup begin. Red, who found out about the body after the fact, is brought in. She exudes some of that Season 1 badassery. Here are two things we know about Piscatella: He will never find Piper adorable (which is understandable) and apparently will never find Red formidable. He mentions the crimes that landed her in prison in the first place. The corpses in the mob mama’s freezer were chopped up soooooo that looks kinda bad. Given her record, it’s interesting that Red was put in charge of the Litchfield kitchen with all that access to knives.
7. The COs are forcing the inmates to fight. Forcing. Crazy Eyes just had to defend herself by beating her would-be girlfriend bloody. Honestly, this is the most upsetting season. Maybe I have some Season 1-3 amnesia, but I can’t remember it being this overall grueling.
8. So Alex–the guilty party–wants to give Piscatella information, but he shuts her down and considers the case closed. Healey reported Lolly, who gets dragged off to the psych ward and it’s devastating. On the one hand, Lolly belongs there, but she’s in there for the wrong reasons. And it doesn’t look like that section of the hospital wing does more than pump the patient/inmates full of drugs to keep them quiet. Lolly was helping Alex kill an assassin. I don’t think Healey has all the information. You can tell he’s brokenhearted but he also tossed Season 1 Piper into SHU for lesbian dancing and sabotaged Berdie Rogers, who was arguably the only competent and ethical staffer, because he was resentful of her success.
9. I’m not sure how I’m going to feel about Alex if she lets this go. I can still loop some of the blame back to Piper, who I don’t find adorable, but that would take a lot of mental gymnastics.
10. Honest to God, this season is actually causing work-related stress. It’s partially a testament to the writers that I am so whipped up but it also triggers some dark real-world issues that not too many people want to talk about. Damn, I’m depressed.,

We like astute and clever comments from OITNB fans. Comments don’t appear right away, but we promise to get to them after emerging from the fetal position.

Elaine G. Flores, Chief Editor

Elaine is the chief editor of TV Recappers' Delight. She's an experienced entertainment reporter, reviewer, editor, blogger, columnist and Bon Vivant.